alkatraz

There was a time where I was messed up too, real bad but different. I wanted to die and all that shit. But I didn't really, I was just very sad. I can honestly say now that I am happy. It took a long time but it still happened.

You seem to know what to do, quit drinking, smoking, having crazy sex and above all, quit the OxyContin. People can very easily die from that OC shit. Which in a way sort of proves that you don't really want to die, taking to many pills are way easier than cutting yourself.

I don't know if your friends love you or not. I'd say just on average, since you seem to have so many, that at least 1 or 2 must really care. It only makes sense. Though you can't really get yourself involved with other people's problems and dramas, you have enough to deal already.

Perhaps you aren't ready for a stable relationship, perhaps you need to work on yourself first. Perhaps I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But you seem like a beautiful person that has just been down for way too long. You might think about trying to get some help somewhere, from a pro or at least the friend you trust the most? To me, you sound like you have a lot of crap to deal with, a lot more than what's on the surface here.

That's a life spin, that one. Your entries themselves are like a videotape on fast forward.......just make sure not to like like that. After years of that sort of living, the one thing you learn is that you should have been taking care of yourself all the time. The world's still going to treat you like shit now and then, best thing to fight it is to treat yourself preciously.

Welcome to the BCB group.

neck necklace? hahaha

=-> Alecks

you are dreamyyyyyyyyyyyyy and you deserve to be happy
have a lookie...

[Edited on Apr 10, 2005 9:40PM]

Hey babe, you are such a hottie. Just came across some of your pics. You look like an ass kicker. I totally dig vicious beauties, Fucking right. L8er doll...........Aj

I feel compelled to console you for having to live in such a shit hole of a town... MUST GET BACK... TO... CHICAGO...

I'm just returning your message on my profile. Later

i'm glad you're not skinny...i like you luscious and lickable

me too.... come back.. i see u in "real life" but dammit girl.. gotta update more... i know school is a pain ... but im sure everyone on here misses you... and i do too.... even in our real life.... shit im getting sappy cuz im leaving the state ... i still love you hun..

ugh. sounds like some mind fuck. i think you should stick with the solo thing, this kid sounds too much like a kid. not worth it as he is already breaking up with you before you even start anything, which is lame. he's making all these excuses when you shouldn't have to deal with someone who only 1/2 wants to be with you. the whole "decide between two girls" thing is shit and you shouldn't have to worry about the fickle emotions of some kid. anyway, good luck with that. i was wondering if you would be going to the iowa city get together....it was posted in the SGMidwest group. i think it is next month, the 22nd....but would have to check. take care, hope things work out.

yeah i agree ..... cricket is a young one... that might be a lil dangerous for ur feelings... i know how u get. SO DONT GET ATTACHED!!! love you.

Happy Easter, pretty girl.

happy spring time holiday.

anyway, what i was saying was really a statement that boys are as clueless as girls when it comes to knowing what they want.

ahhhh makes me wanna scream... all the drama tisk tisk..... ur going to prison girlie be careful!!!

Dundee in Scotland.. You're welcome

Jack Johnson, great writer

hey! but ur so far! how can we do one?

ha i was thinkin the same thing when i saw those pics actually.. but i bought mine from derek.. i miss him being in the band

Thank you darling