akathisia

Yesterday was perhaps not the best day ever. Right after i wrote that journal i called my dad to see what was up with thanksgiving this year. He asked me how i was doing and when i said "Eh" he started to ask pointed questions about how i am feeling about things. I eventually started to cry because every possible helpful option he metioned had a verifiable negative reason why i can't do or acheive whatever, and i started bawling over the phone. It just got worse everything he said after that even though he was being so sweet. So i would have been late, so he came and picked me up and drove me to work (still crying and depressed). All day after that i feel like i have been punched in the bridge of my nose really bad and my whole face is sore and i have a headache. Plus i learn in work yesterday that they are going to cut medical insurance coverage in half, eliminate coverage for all workers families, and start up a retirement plan (which is like the most retarded thing ever...it only benefits the managers since the rest of the workers are mostly all young college students... I mean really what the hell). It is way overfuckingdue time for me to get out of this place. I have enlisted the help of a couple of friends and my dad to help me work on my resume so i can "get the hell out of here" as Hedwig would say.

So yeah, i used to like crying, but now i hate it. why is it that a couple of years ago it felt like a release to cry, but now when i do i just feel spent, depressed, and sort of sore all over?

Eventually i will figure out how i can go back to college. I swear it will happen, but i just don't know how.

Blaaaahhhhrggg!!!!! Breaking things sounds good. Anyone want to go buy some glasses at Goodwill with me?

-Leslie

p.s. thanks everyone who responded to yesterday mornings journal.....to you i give a kiss or so!!!

p.s.#2 Adding fucking in to the middle of words may be silly but makes me feel specfuckingtacular.

EDIT We might be going to go get foodstamps today....somtimes it is a total pain in the ass, so hopefully it happens SOON and maybe we can get in to the office for the evaluation today.....crossing muh digits.

Took some silly pics of myself......since i am techno inept i will try to get greg to put them up here for me. We'll see.

Also, how did i miss this girl? I never saw her set before now. That is just weird, weird weird.