Blah, blah, blah. I hate people. I hate missing people. I hate identifying with people. I hate not identifying with people. I hate it when people are base and i hate it when they're trying to be deep.
I hate people.
Ok, now what?
The heat finally broke. It was four days inna row, triple digits, finally topping out at a 120 heat index. But only after a storm.
Tomorrow it's gonna be 79 outa twenty degree drop.
Right.
And Sammy just bought a window AC for his room. He did so to stop his computer from crashingwhich it would do anytime the bastard hit 40 degrees Celsius. He had his comp just sitting there, it wasnt stressing the processor at all, and it crashed.
Now, if i were working on itediting et alit would have crashed the second i opened up Vegas.
But whatever.
After his purchase we spent 4 hours assembling a bracing system as to hold the AC in the window.
Because Sammy wanted to put it in the TOP of the window.
But it's been five years since shop class and the Master of Wood fucked it up.
Then we had to rearrange his room.
So i didnt get shit done over the weekend.
Heh.
Heading back into Pekin tomorrow and Thursday to try and catch up. Talked to G about scoring a scene, he agreed, but we'll see. He's not as reliable as i'd like.
And he wants me to do a Podcastwhatever that is.
I'm assuming it has something to do with iPods...
He was bragging about having five listeners. But i shouldnt talkit's not like i'm doing much better with this.
But that's lack of representationi have a piss poor marketing dept. and i dunno really how to market myself.
Things are moving slowly these days, and I'm afraid that's indicative of things to come.
I rented Prozac Nation, but didnt watch it. I was in the mood to see it when i rented it but soon fell out of that moodseeing as i thought it was gonna be kind of a downer.
So i left it at Sammy's. And the next time i saw Sammy he had told me that he'd watched itand liked it.
Sammy's not the kind of kid that watches movies such as Prozac Nationhe's a summer blockbuster, shiny tits and ass guy. He likes really mindless joyrides without much to say, things that wrap themselves up into a happy-slappy ending.
He actually likes the theatrical ending of Butterfly Effect, even after admitting the alternate ending made more sense.
But whatever.
He watched it and then regaled me with tales of Christina Ricci's nakedness.
Then he had me read a three page essay on how/why he's depressed, and how he just realized it. It began with Amy and ended with Crystal and all the things she's done to him.
Now, i dont think i was a really dark, angsty teenager, but I've known for quite some time what depression is and when I'm feeling it.
But that's just me.
I didnt realize Sammy was this fucked up over what happenedi mean, i knew he wasn't feeling right, but i didnt know it was this bad.
It's odd to read such a thing about a person that plays the Hard, Offensive Cynic 24hours a day, especially when said person is sitting a foot away watching you read his deepest thoughts.
I knew Amy from childhood. She lived across the street from me growing up and we hung out a lot when we were younger, so when S started to date her i thought it was cool. They ended somewhat amicably, although they didn't stay friends and Sammy badmouthed her for weeksthat's modern amicability, as i understand it.
And then Crystal. She was a bitchi remember from school. I knew her from about 3rd grade until our freshman year of HS. Sammy didn't know her cos he went to different primary and middle schools. I didn't say anything cos S was soo fucking happy to be with someone.
And three years went by.
And I'm the only friend/family member she didn't fuck behind Sammy's backwhich is a sore subject to both me and Sammy.
So Sammy's depressed about all the shit that goes with relationshipsbefore, during, after. So much so that he wrote an essay about it.
Sammy hates writing.
And then he had me read it.
Whilst watching.
And then i think he wanted to talk about itlike anyone would want to, i suppose. It was his new found feelingdepression.
And like those in love, he wanted to talk about it with someone that is depressed as well.
Or someone that knows about depression.
Enter Luc.
Unfortunately talking about it would mean the ol' compare and contrast bit.
And Sammy's too damned competitive about shit.
Even about depression.
You think that's badthis one time...
So, instead, we talked about Ricci's titsa place we both feel comfortable.
Either way, i feel uncomfortable talking about my feelingsface to face, i mean. And it has nothing to do with macho insecurity, or whatever. I just feel stupid talking about that shitmy insignificant, insecure shit when there's people with real problems.
I dont mind listening to peoples problems, dispensing disposable advice, but chipping in, talking about my own experiences, i dont like.
Or my past.
I dont like talking about past relationships and stuff. Deeply atleast.
For what it is, i felt more comfortable, more like myself when i lived in Canton. Oddly, it's been the most removed I've been from where i grew up.
I need better representation, damnit.
Boop.
I hate people.
Ok, now what?
The heat finally broke. It was four days inna row, triple digits, finally topping out at a 120 heat index. But only after a storm.
Tomorrow it's gonna be 79 outa twenty degree drop.
Right.
And Sammy just bought a window AC for his room. He did so to stop his computer from crashingwhich it would do anytime the bastard hit 40 degrees Celsius. He had his comp just sitting there, it wasnt stressing the processor at all, and it crashed.
Now, if i were working on itediting et alit would have crashed the second i opened up Vegas.
But whatever.
After his purchase we spent 4 hours assembling a bracing system as to hold the AC in the window.
Because Sammy wanted to put it in the TOP of the window.
But it's been five years since shop class and the Master of Wood fucked it up.
Then we had to rearrange his room.
So i didnt get shit done over the weekend.
Heh.
Heading back into Pekin tomorrow and Thursday to try and catch up. Talked to G about scoring a scene, he agreed, but we'll see. He's not as reliable as i'd like.
And he wants me to do a Podcastwhatever that is.
I'm assuming it has something to do with iPods...
He was bragging about having five listeners. But i shouldnt talkit's not like i'm doing much better with this.
But that's lack of representationi have a piss poor marketing dept. and i dunno really how to market myself.
Things are moving slowly these days, and I'm afraid that's indicative of things to come.
I rented Prozac Nation, but didnt watch it. I was in the mood to see it when i rented it but soon fell out of that moodseeing as i thought it was gonna be kind of a downer.
So i left it at Sammy's. And the next time i saw Sammy he had told me that he'd watched itand liked it.
Sammy's not the kind of kid that watches movies such as Prozac Nationhe's a summer blockbuster, shiny tits and ass guy. He likes really mindless joyrides without much to say, things that wrap themselves up into a happy-slappy ending.
He actually likes the theatrical ending of Butterfly Effect, even after admitting the alternate ending made more sense.
But whatever.
He watched it and then regaled me with tales of Christina Ricci's nakedness.
Then he had me read a three page essay on how/why he's depressed, and how he just realized it. It began with Amy and ended with Crystal and all the things she's done to him.
Now, i dont think i was a really dark, angsty teenager, but I've known for quite some time what depression is and when I'm feeling it.
But that's just me.
I didnt realize Sammy was this fucked up over what happenedi mean, i knew he wasn't feeling right, but i didnt know it was this bad.
It's odd to read such a thing about a person that plays the Hard, Offensive Cynic 24hours a day, especially when said person is sitting a foot away watching you read his deepest thoughts.
I knew Amy from childhood. She lived across the street from me growing up and we hung out a lot when we were younger, so when S started to date her i thought it was cool. They ended somewhat amicably, although they didn't stay friends and Sammy badmouthed her for weeksthat's modern amicability, as i understand it.
And then Crystal. She was a bitchi remember from school. I knew her from about 3rd grade until our freshman year of HS. Sammy didn't know her cos he went to different primary and middle schools. I didn't say anything cos S was soo fucking happy to be with someone.
And three years went by.
And I'm the only friend/family member she didn't fuck behind Sammy's backwhich is a sore subject to both me and Sammy.
So Sammy's depressed about all the shit that goes with relationshipsbefore, during, after. So much so that he wrote an essay about it.
Sammy hates writing.
And then he had me read it.
Whilst watching.
And then i think he wanted to talk about itlike anyone would want to, i suppose. It was his new found feelingdepression.
And like those in love, he wanted to talk about it with someone that is depressed as well.
Or someone that knows about depression.
Enter Luc.
Unfortunately talking about it would mean the ol' compare and contrast bit.
And Sammy's too damned competitive about shit.
Even about depression.
You think that's badthis one time...
So, instead, we talked about Ricci's titsa place we both feel comfortable.
Either way, i feel uncomfortable talking about my feelingsface to face, i mean. And it has nothing to do with macho insecurity, or whatever. I just feel stupid talking about that shitmy insignificant, insecure shit when there's people with real problems.
I dont mind listening to peoples problems, dispensing disposable advice, but chipping in, talking about my own experiences, i dont like.
Or my past.
I dont like talking about past relationships and stuff. Deeply atleast.
For what it is, i felt more comfortable, more like myself when i lived in Canton. Oddly, it's been the most removed I've been from where i grew up.
I need better representation, damnit.
Boop.