Father's Dayi'm a horrible son. I dont celebrate anything. For Mother's Day i got my mother earrings. She loves music, shoulda gotten her a CD. I get her CDs every year.
So, for Father's Day what do i do? I dont do shite...cos i'm a bad son. I gave him my rent, helped him with the computer, and hung out with him for a bit. I recently found out he's into the Star Wars movies, shoulda maybe picked up the originals on DVD...i'm a bad son...
Would i sound like an idiot if i asked what Polyphony meant?
Or would i sound like a prick if i said it was a multiplicity of sound, as in (or resembling) an echo.
I totally only know that because of the movie Akira...
It feels more and more like Im an accessory. Like a new watch or a spiffy hatsomething people take along with them for whatever reasonbe it humor, ease, or psychological advise.
Maybe Im confused. Maybe this is friendship. Maybe this is just where I fitmy role.
This is partly my own fault. Truth be told, Im not the most open person ever. Atleast not face-to-face.
Ive gotten so used to internalizing things that I forget how to answer questions about my personal life. Its not like my friends to ask me about it, mostly because Ive kept a great part of me closed off for such a long time, so when someone asks about past relationships, past mistakespretty much anything I write aboutI blank out. I close up. I dunno what to say, because Ive said it so many times before, either in my head or in a journal entry or story.
So I shift. I hit the question back at the person. Because of this, I spend alotta time on other peoples problems. Thus, becoming the therapist.
Or, atleast, ones proxy.
I know most people dont wanna hear the truthor what I see as the truthso I often end up placating. Saying, I dunno, what do you think? instead of:
Its a fear of rejectionlook at yr relationship with your mother.
Yr doing it to see if you still can do it. You have self-esteem issues from something that happened in yr past relationships.
Yr rebounding, setting yrself up for rejectionto either see what youve been missing or to miss what you had.
People dont change unless they want toif you want the person to change, provide motivation.
Etc. etc. etc.
Simple rules that everyone knows, but ignores for whatever reason.
To truly make a relationship work, you first have to know what makes YOU happy, then its just a matter of finding someone that matches. And not just what makes you happy atthisverymoment dot, dot, dot, but always.
Once you know that, just find a matcheasy-peasy, yeah?
If yr totally into books, literature, a relationship with a toothless retard isnt gonna work, right?
If yr devout, religious person who doesnt like their beliefs questioned, stay the fuck away from aethiests.
If you like excitement, travel, etc. dont date a hermit.
If you like to laugh, a relationship with a really serious person wont last.
Nice, cute, but sucks in the sack? Shit wont last.
If you like straight-up sex, a relationship with a fetishist wont last.
Good in bed, but a prick? Wont last.
If you like to be dominated AND to dominate, a relationship with a straight submissive wont workor a relationship with a strict aggressor wont work.
This shits easymost people know it already, but they get hung up on one part of a person or one part of themselves, either for the sake of convenience or because theyre only concerned about a single moment in their lives with no thought of tomorrow.
Thats great if yr not looking for long term, elsewise yr fuckedstuck in that single moment of yr life.
If yr gay you wouldnt enter into a straight relationship, would you? Same concept.
If you only listen to one part of yourself, you deny an entire other part of yourself. Or parts, depending on the compromise youre making. No matter if youre living yr life from moment to moment, or if youre playing off emotion, what you want right now isnt gonna be what you want next week isnt gonna be what you want next month isnt gonna be what you want next year isnt gonna be what you want
Because life isnt black and whitequite clich, Im sure, but were told that so often because we hardly let it apply.
Why do we say it isnt black and white, but let emotions dictate our actions? Because were told/taught at a young age what love is and what love isnt? Were told what love is, the concept or feeling, but I dont think we know the half of it. Thats why relationships failwere told to compromise for love. If its really love, there shouldnt be compromise, should there? Maybe I got faulty information.
When I say compromise Im speaking strictly of lifestyle compromiseyou shouldnt have to ignore or hold back a part of yourself simply because it doesnt mesh-well with whatever baggage the other person has.
Sex isnt the only thing in a relationship, but it can make or break it. Just as communication isnt the only thing in a relationship, but, without it, yr relationship is dead in the water.
If you were really in love, your hang-ups shouldnt matter, they should make the relationship stronger.
I was told, as a rule of thumb, that by 12 partners, I would know what I wanted. As a rule of thumb, its great. It puts a bar out there, but what of the person thats had 24 partners and is still confused? Should that person be the only exception to the rule? Surely someone with 6 partners can be fully self-aware.
Not to make this topic any longer than it needs, but let us run thru em:
Ive been in six relationships, five sexual relationships (long-term), and one long-term relationship where sex wasnt a factor.
Ive had sexual encounters where sex was it. Where it was a one-time-thing, but I couldnt get down with it. It was alotta awkward stuff, whatever. When Im with someone I wanna try things, and with near-strangers, its almost impossibleyou might get a reputation as a nipple-biterthen what?
Ahem
Sexually, Ill try anything once. Im a firm believer of Dont knock it til you try it, I couldnt be with a girl thats so shut up in taboos. I like to talk and listen, Im very open minded, but I also enjoy questioning things just to provoke thought. Closed-minded or kept girls would be the death of me.
Too artsy? Fuck off, i dont need the competition.
I have a love/hate relationship with pop-culture, as well, pretentious chicks need-not-apply.
Girls with no wit might as well fuck-off, too. Ive been known to fuck with the person Im with, in a public situation, simply because Im bored. This, for SOME reason, scares the shit outta girls. If you cant handle my acting out (or, participate, for that matter), it wont work. Ive had enough of girls slapping my arm because I said something offensive, or in bad taste.
I was once with this girl who had an inverted nipple. I thought it was the coolest thing EVERsuch a defining characteristici thought it was cute, she thought it was an terribly intense flaw. If you see where i'm going with this, good, if not......i'm totally with you, i'm just trying to buy some time. I'm locked in the computer room whilst the wax on the kitchen floor dries...
So...
I could go on, but Ive been up for 39 hours, almost 40. I couldnt sleep, so I wrote this. Maybe now I can sleep, right?
Boop.
So, for Father's Day what do i do? I dont do shite...cos i'm a bad son. I gave him my rent, helped him with the computer, and hung out with him for a bit. I recently found out he's into the Star Wars movies, shoulda maybe picked up the originals on DVD...i'm a bad son...
Would i sound like an idiot if i asked what Polyphony meant?
Or would i sound like a prick if i said it was a multiplicity of sound, as in (or resembling) an echo.
I totally only know that because of the movie Akira...
It feels more and more like Im an accessory. Like a new watch or a spiffy hatsomething people take along with them for whatever reasonbe it humor, ease, or psychological advise.
Maybe Im confused. Maybe this is friendship. Maybe this is just where I fitmy role.
This is partly my own fault. Truth be told, Im not the most open person ever. Atleast not face-to-face.
Ive gotten so used to internalizing things that I forget how to answer questions about my personal life. Its not like my friends to ask me about it, mostly because Ive kept a great part of me closed off for such a long time, so when someone asks about past relationships, past mistakespretty much anything I write aboutI blank out. I close up. I dunno what to say, because Ive said it so many times before, either in my head or in a journal entry or story.
So I shift. I hit the question back at the person. Because of this, I spend alotta time on other peoples problems. Thus, becoming the therapist.
Or, atleast, ones proxy.
I know most people dont wanna hear the truthor what I see as the truthso I often end up placating. Saying, I dunno, what do you think? instead of:
Its a fear of rejectionlook at yr relationship with your mother.
Yr doing it to see if you still can do it. You have self-esteem issues from something that happened in yr past relationships.
Yr rebounding, setting yrself up for rejectionto either see what youve been missing or to miss what you had.
People dont change unless they want toif you want the person to change, provide motivation.
Etc. etc. etc.
Simple rules that everyone knows, but ignores for whatever reason.
To truly make a relationship work, you first have to know what makes YOU happy, then its just a matter of finding someone that matches. And not just what makes you happy atthisverymoment dot, dot, dot, but always.
Once you know that, just find a matcheasy-peasy, yeah?
If yr totally into books, literature, a relationship with a toothless retard isnt gonna work, right?
If yr devout, religious person who doesnt like their beliefs questioned, stay the fuck away from aethiests.
If you like excitement, travel, etc. dont date a hermit.
If you like to laugh, a relationship with a really serious person wont last.
Nice, cute, but sucks in the sack? Shit wont last.
If you like straight-up sex, a relationship with a fetishist wont last.
Good in bed, but a prick? Wont last.
If you like to be dominated AND to dominate, a relationship with a straight submissive wont workor a relationship with a strict aggressor wont work.
This shits easymost people know it already, but they get hung up on one part of a person or one part of themselves, either for the sake of convenience or because theyre only concerned about a single moment in their lives with no thought of tomorrow.
Thats great if yr not looking for long term, elsewise yr fuckedstuck in that single moment of yr life.
If yr gay you wouldnt enter into a straight relationship, would you? Same concept.
If you only listen to one part of yourself, you deny an entire other part of yourself. Or parts, depending on the compromise youre making. No matter if youre living yr life from moment to moment, or if youre playing off emotion, what you want right now isnt gonna be what you want next week isnt gonna be what you want next month isnt gonna be what you want next year isnt gonna be what you want
Because life isnt black and whitequite clich, Im sure, but were told that so often because we hardly let it apply.
Why do we say it isnt black and white, but let emotions dictate our actions? Because were told/taught at a young age what love is and what love isnt? Were told what love is, the concept or feeling, but I dont think we know the half of it. Thats why relationships failwere told to compromise for love. If its really love, there shouldnt be compromise, should there? Maybe I got faulty information.
When I say compromise Im speaking strictly of lifestyle compromiseyou shouldnt have to ignore or hold back a part of yourself simply because it doesnt mesh-well with whatever baggage the other person has.
Sex isnt the only thing in a relationship, but it can make or break it. Just as communication isnt the only thing in a relationship, but, without it, yr relationship is dead in the water.
If you were really in love, your hang-ups shouldnt matter, they should make the relationship stronger.
I was told, as a rule of thumb, that by 12 partners, I would know what I wanted. As a rule of thumb, its great. It puts a bar out there, but what of the person thats had 24 partners and is still confused? Should that person be the only exception to the rule? Surely someone with 6 partners can be fully self-aware.
Not to make this topic any longer than it needs, but let us run thru em:
Ive been in six relationships, five sexual relationships (long-term), and one long-term relationship where sex wasnt a factor.
Ive had sexual encounters where sex was it. Where it was a one-time-thing, but I couldnt get down with it. It was alotta awkward stuff, whatever. When Im with someone I wanna try things, and with near-strangers, its almost impossibleyou might get a reputation as a nipple-biterthen what?
Ahem
Sexually, Ill try anything once. Im a firm believer of Dont knock it til you try it, I couldnt be with a girl thats so shut up in taboos. I like to talk and listen, Im very open minded, but I also enjoy questioning things just to provoke thought. Closed-minded or kept girls would be the death of me.
Too artsy? Fuck off, i dont need the competition.
I have a love/hate relationship with pop-culture, as well, pretentious chicks need-not-apply.
Girls with no wit might as well fuck-off, too. Ive been known to fuck with the person Im with, in a public situation, simply because Im bored. This, for SOME reason, scares the shit outta girls. If you cant handle my acting out (or, participate, for that matter), it wont work. Ive had enough of girls slapping my arm because I said something offensive, or in bad taste.
I was once with this girl who had an inverted nipple. I thought it was the coolest thing EVERsuch a defining characteristici thought it was cute, she thought it was an terribly intense flaw. If you see where i'm going with this, good, if not......i'm totally with you, i'm just trying to buy some time. I'm locked in the computer room whilst the wax on the kitchen floor dries...
So...
I could go on, but Ive been up for 39 hours, almost 40. I couldnt sleep, so I wrote this. Maybe now I can sleep, right?
Boop.
2) thanks for the redeeming commets
3) most people don't listen to themselves when they're hungry... what makes you think they'll listen to themselves when they realize they're in a bad relationship???
4) you. sleep.