this weekend is gonna suckhardi can tell.
I had a dream (NIGHTMARE!!!) about my basement being filled with red-hot-metal and smoldering bones. There was something else going on, but i cant remember much...cos... YESTERDAY WAS 4:20!!
Unfortunately i had no idea until i went to update my journal and PhoolsFire mentioned it. By then i was way too up to do anything about it.
I've never thrown up whilst smoking, i thought that was something reserved for drunks, heroin addicts and bulimicsguess i was wrong.
Everytime i closed my eyes it felt like i was flying or falling and my entire head felt full of water.
This is more disturbing as it sounds.
It felt as enjoyable as most every high, but very, very harsh.
I bit some of this Tuesday, but i wasnt really going at the same pace as i was Tuesdayi had things to do and didnt want to be flat-off-my-ass stoned.
I wanted to maintain a modicum of sobre activeness (READ: Not craving Gardetto's and blue icey pops).
Yesterday, i smoked two bowls and a number of hitters before thinking, Well enough..., and when i came to update my journal, the breeze from the ceiling fan began tickling my arm hair and amplified my flying falling thing. The music would fade away during the verses and pop back in at the chorus.
When i closed my eyes i could feel my head rock forward, back, forward, back, dot, dot, dot. And i'd open them and my mouth would water.
When i forgot what i was going to type, i closed my eyes to think, and fell/floated, the water in my head sloshedwhen i reopened my eyes, the light from the ceiling fan, the shadows from the bladesthe room felt spinny and my stomach jumped into my throat.
Thank god the computer room is connected to the bathroom, lest i lose it.
It was beef pot pie and rice again.
And there's the saltwater taffy.
Apple sauce?
And root beer.
And after you vomit, yr not to introduce anything back into the stomach for an hour or so, but i'm high and the cotton-mouth has bitten me.
That water smell is making me nauseous, making my toes twitch.
I log off and go back to my room to watch whatever is on CartoonNetworkit's a Trigun rerun and the credits make my head spin.
So i turn off the tele, it's only 12:30am, 4/21. I hit play on the stereo remote and fall asleep.
I sleep for 13 and a half hours, waking back up at 2:00pm. I lay in bed and watch whatever is on FUSE til 3pm.
Then i watch X-Play and get ready for workdress, brush teeth and hair, wash hands, smoke a hitter and eat a NutriGrain bar.
Smoke a cigarette.
...
The one comment that sticks out most from Saturday, at Fantasy Land, is Sammy saying, Atleast here it's alright to look...
i remember thinking, It's always ok to look, it's never proper to stare.
And always inappropriate to touch, apparently.
Unless yr a lech, in which case, stare all ya want.
But i dont wanna be taken as a lech, even by a stripper.
A lech or a mark.
Or desperate.
Cos that's how i be rollin' yo.
A mellow, dirty, whimsical beatnik serial killer lookin' mug with a taste for girly drinks and a flare for random stories that look promising, sound interestingly funny, but go absolutely no where.
Boop.
UPDATE
sometimes i feel like kiling everything i see. more on this as it progresses.
I had a dream (NIGHTMARE!!!) about my basement being filled with red-hot-metal and smoldering bones. There was something else going on, but i cant remember much...cos... YESTERDAY WAS 4:20!!
Unfortunately i had no idea until i went to update my journal and PhoolsFire mentioned it. By then i was way too up to do anything about it.
I've never thrown up whilst smoking, i thought that was something reserved for drunks, heroin addicts and bulimicsguess i was wrong.
Everytime i closed my eyes it felt like i was flying or falling and my entire head felt full of water.
This is more disturbing as it sounds.
It felt as enjoyable as most every high, but very, very harsh.
I bit some of this Tuesday, but i wasnt really going at the same pace as i was Tuesdayi had things to do and didnt want to be flat-off-my-ass stoned.
I wanted to maintain a modicum of sobre activeness (READ: Not craving Gardetto's and blue icey pops).
Yesterday, i smoked two bowls and a number of hitters before thinking, Well enough..., and when i came to update my journal, the breeze from the ceiling fan began tickling my arm hair and amplified my flying falling thing. The music would fade away during the verses and pop back in at the chorus.
When i closed my eyes i could feel my head rock forward, back, forward, back, dot, dot, dot. And i'd open them and my mouth would water.
When i forgot what i was going to type, i closed my eyes to think, and fell/floated, the water in my head sloshedwhen i reopened my eyes, the light from the ceiling fan, the shadows from the bladesthe room felt spinny and my stomach jumped into my throat.
Thank god the computer room is connected to the bathroom, lest i lose it.
It was beef pot pie and rice again.
And there's the saltwater taffy.
Apple sauce?
And root beer.
And after you vomit, yr not to introduce anything back into the stomach for an hour or so, but i'm high and the cotton-mouth has bitten me.
That water smell is making me nauseous, making my toes twitch.
I log off and go back to my room to watch whatever is on CartoonNetworkit's a Trigun rerun and the credits make my head spin.
So i turn off the tele, it's only 12:30am, 4/21. I hit play on the stereo remote and fall asleep.
I sleep for 13 and a half hours, waking back up at 2:00pm. I lay in bed and watch whatever is on FUSE til 3pm.
Then i watch X-Play and get ready for workdress, brush teeth and hair, wash hands, smoke a hitter and eat a NutriGrain bar.
Smoke a cigarette.
...
The one comment that sticks out most from Saturday, at Fantasy Land, is Sammy saying, Atleast here it's alright to look...
i remember thinking, It's always ok to look, it's never proper to stare.
And always inappropriate to touch, apparently.
Unless yr a lech, in which case, stare all ya want.
But i dont wanna be taken as a lech, even by a stripper.
A lech or a mark.
Or desperate.
Cos that's how i be rollin' yo.
A mellow, dirty, whimsical beatnik serial killer lookin' mug with a taste for girly drinks and a flare for random stories that look promising, sound interestingly funny, but go absolutely no where.
Boop.
UPDATE
sometimes i feel like kiling everything i see. more on this as it progresses.
is it always ok to look?because i look quite a bit lately and its gettn me nowhere.
i always used to puke after smoking if i was also drinking.
so i'll be in peoria on saturday to get my shitty car fixed again, but it'll be during the day? so....
I don't know who you are anymore!