3 Movie Rules:
!) If the cover art for the movie includes a halogram, images leaping from the package or is generally... neat looking, the movie sucks. The distributers spent waaay too much on the packaging, marketing and overall decieving of the public, and not enough on producing a worthwile product.
(this, of course, doesnt refer to Special Editions et al, mostly to low budget horror/slasher flicks)
2A) More than two recording artists pretending to be actors (in either a starring role, or large-ish supporting role) is a ploy by the producers to SELL THE SOUNDTRACK and to up the box office by appealing to a built in audience. (this rule also applies to anymovie starring a rapper and Steven Segal/Jet Li et al)
2B) Three or more Recording Artists in a film is a DEFINATE PLOY TO SELL THE MOVIE TO A BUILT IN AUDIENCE/SPECIAL DEMOGRAPHIC AND SHOULD HENCEFORTH BE REFERRED TO AS A MUSICAL!!! That's right, Snoop Dog has starred in many a musical. (Fuck Snoop Dog and everyone of his Ilk)
3) I cant remember what rule three is... it had something to do hats or names or something... i came up with these rules whilst Living in Canton and parusing their local Family Video. I believe i was with Guey, but he doesnt remember the third rule either.
Jed's girlie is cheating on him. Or so he suspects. She was supposedly in Glassford. In a bar. Jed's up on 7 lowertab and had been smoking weed all day (big surprise) and wanted a ride to the lil bar in Glassford (Mothers or something). S and i oblige. We take my car, S is driving because i dunno the way and get lost easy.
We get there, the mood is solemn. Jed's in the back, quiet, S is driving, quiet, i'm looking out the window and getting slight deja vu flashes about driving thru the area before.
We have the brights on, we pass a cop, he flashes his brights at us, then turns around and starts following us. He was about two blocks back.
We see the bar down the block, s is looking, runs a red light. S rounds the corner, pulls into a parking lot, heads towards the exit, the cop pulls in infront of us.
I say to Jed, "You left the weed at home, right...?"
"Yeah," he says. "...I'm pretty sure."
The cop's at the window, now. This is my car, S is driving, he hasnt his contacts in, Jed's blazed off his ass in the back seat. I'm thinking we're done. This is it. Taken down by a hillbilly cop.
The cop asks for s's liscense, he pulls out his wallet, digs, and hands it to him. The cop looks for a second, and says, "That's nice, but do you have a Driver's Liscense?"
S handed him a credit card.
Jed starts busting out laughing. Sluring, he says, "That wont work, Samuel, you cant bribe Glassford cops...!"
i imagine jed looking out the window, winking at the cop. Winking, his eyes bloodshot, his pupils dialated.
He asks for the insurance, i dig it out, hand it over. He asks who's car it is, i say mine.
The cop tells us to be more careful, to stop next time. To be careful.
He thinks S is the designated driver...
J's girlie isnt at the bar. We drive back. J gives me 5$ in gas. all is good.
boop.
stop I'm drunk
but I'm off my knees
the police stopped chasing
I'm her new cool meat
she pops the trunk
and she removes me
and a machine that takes
pictures of us
now my jaw and my teeth hurt
I'm choking from gnawing on the ball
and just before I come to move to
the back of the car she makes me
touch the machine
new murderer
first untie me
untie me for now
you said you would, right?
and you were right
(soon I'll let you go)
soon this will be all over
well I hope soon
she sang
so she sang
(soon I'll let you go)
!) If the cover art for the movie includes a halogram, images leaping from the package or is generally... neat looking, the movie sucks. The distributers spent waaay too much on the packaging, marketing and overall decieving of the public, and not enough on producing a worthwile product.
(this, of course, doesnt refer to Special Editions et al, mostly to low budget horror/slasher flicks)
2A) More than two recording artists pretending to be actors (in either a starring role, or large-ish supporting role) is a ploy by the producers to SELL THE SOUNDTRACK and to up the box office by appealing to a built in audience. (this rule also applies to anymovie starring a rapper and Steven Segal/Jet Li et al)
2B) Three or more Recording Artists in a film is a DEFINATE PLOY TO SELL THE MOVIE TO A BUILT IN AUDIENCE/SPECIAL DEMOGRAPHIC AND SHOULD HENCEFORTH BE REFERRED TO AS A MUSICAL!!! That's right, Snoop Dog has starred in many a musical. (Fuck Snoop Dog and everyone of his Ilk)
3) I cant remember what rule three is... it had something to do hats or names or something... i came up with these rules whilst Living in Canton and parusing their local Family Video. I believe i was with Guey, but he doesnt remember the third rule either.
Jed's girlie is cheating on him. Or so he suspects. She was supposedly in Glassford. In a bar. Jed's up on 7 lowertab and had been smoking weed all day (big surprise) and wanted a ride to the lil bar in Glassford (Mothers or something). S and i oblige. We take my car, S is driving because i dunno the way and get lost easy.
We get there, the mood is solemn. Jed's in the back, quiet, S is driving, quiet, i'm looking out the window and getting slight deja vu flashes about driving thru the area before.
We have the brights on, we pass a cop, he flashes his brights at us, then turns around and starts following us. He was about two blocks back.
We see the bar down the block, s is looking, runs a red light. S rounds the corner, pulls into a parking lot, heads towards the exit, the cop pulls in infront of us.
I say to Jed, "You left the weed at home, right...?"
"Yeah," he says. "...I'm pretty sure."
The cop's at the window, now. This is my car, S is driving, he hasnt his contacts in, Jed's blazed off his ass in the back seat. I'm thinking we're done. This is it. Taken down by a hillbilly cop.
The cop asks for s's liscense, he pulls out his wallet, digs, and hands it to him. The cop looks for a second, and says, "That's nice, but do you have a Driver's Liscense?"
S handed him a credit card.
Jed starts busting out laughing. Sluring, he says, "That wont work, Samuel, you cant bribe Glassford cops...!"
i imagine jed looking out the window, winking at the cop. Winking, his eyes bloodshot, his pupils dialated.
He asks for the insurance, i dig it out, hand it over. He asks who's car it is, i say mine.
The cop tells us to be more careful, to stop next time. To be careful.
He thinks S is the designated driver...
J's girlie isnt at the bar. We drive back. J gives me 5$ in gas. all is good.
boop.
stop I'm drunk
but I'm off my knees
the police stopped chasing
I'm her new cool meat
she pops the trunk
and she removes me
and a machine that takes
pictures of us
now my jaw and my teeth hurt
I'm choking from gnawing on the ball
and just before I come to move to
the back of the car she makes me
touch the machine
new murderer
first untie me
untie me for now
you said you would, right?
and you were right
(soon I'll let you go)
soon this will be all over
well I hope soon
she sang
so she sang
(soon I'll let you go)
this is just something i've noticed.
do former rap stars or previously great rockers count even if they don't make music any more? what about for t.v. shows... i personally like ice-t as detective tutuolia.