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akasnuggles

Peoria

Member Since 2004

Followers 9 Following 10

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Monday Feb 28, 2005

Feb 27, 2005
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Boobies....i just wanted to say that...
...
And juxtapose...

El Caminono one gets that reference

I got drunk for no reason. No good reason, I should say. But even drunk I cant do what I cant do sobre.
Too scared. Too nervous. Too weak nerved. Too weak. Whatever.
Fucking phones.
Im afraid of silence is what it is. Afraid of awkward silences.
Or silence that I initiate.
In person, even.
But in person I can show that its awkward for me. I can fidget, blush, whatever.
But I dont wanna be taken as cold. Which is what I get a lot.
But if Im overly cold, please take it for what it isIm afraid of strength. Of coming on too strong.
Of seeming needy.
Which is what Im mistaken for, when Im not mistaken for cold, that is.
But thats not right either.
So awkward silences

Yeah
Ill take another shot. And wait for the credits to roll. Ill take another shot and wait for the credits to roll.
But if I call and 30 seconds in I cant think of anything to say
The dude from The Used, he looks like Jared Leto
Im gonna dominate this conversation, I know it. Im gonna ramble and sound like an idiot.
And be clingy and cold and stupid and everything else I dont wanna come off as.
Its Murphys Law, Im sure.
It comes right after that thing about cars and rabbitsor something.
The one about squirrels and nuts and a puddle of mud.
But I have the phone in my hand.
Beep, beep, beep.

Beep, beep, beep.

Beep-beep, beep


Beep.
And I've waited too long and have to dial again. Otherwise Ill be taking to whoever has the phone number 4.
If anyone does, that is.
I wonder what area code that fall under, 4.
Prolly doesnt have an area code, huh?
Now I have to redial the previous nine, plus one.
Or four, whatever.
But I dont think I can.
And Im burping whiskey.
And Im drinking from the bottom of the bottle.
Its pure alcohol down there. Down here.
We never shake or mix.
So I take my shot, I chase it with Mountain Dew.
I chase it with Zima XXX.
It tastes absolute. Down here it tastes absolute.
I cant feel my eyes, but I know Im blinking.
Either that or double shots are blinding me.
One second at a time.
Little by little.
Im four shots in, eight shot doubles.
Ive three shots left, I estimate.
Three shots double.
Six shot single.
The bottle says Caramel Added, and I think No Shit.
And I think I cant taste it.
And I thinkFuck it.
Fuck it, do it.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep

Beep.
I move the phone quickly to my head, to my ear. Too quickly in my state and whack the side of my head.
Its ringing
And ringing
And ringing
And my hearts pounding and its all I can hear and all I can feel.
Ringing
And ringing
Her voice mail.
I leave a message.
And I take another shot.
And light another cigarette.
And turn the stereo back up.


The phone rings and its her and I dont think. I pause the CD and I answer it.
And there goes three cigarettes.
And one Zima.
And the rest of my Dew.
And nearly an hour.
And I hang up.
And Im still buzzed and I type this up.
And Im sleepy. Im about to crash.
But I cant sleep.
And Im glad I called
But I still fucking hate phones.
Personal Note: I need to invest in Chapstick.

err...i'm not a Korn fan, but...i just read that Head 'Found Jesus" and has left the band...wtf? That's a joke, right?
He's been hanging out with those darned POD kids again...
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
propaganda4u:
Ive been listening to more of Antics lately. However, I also like Bright Lights. It really depends on my mood. Do you have a favorite?

Cost comparisons between the U.S. and Canada (all converted to USD): Basic Dell Pocket PC: $169 vs. $242. I purchased a new mattress a few months ago and ended up going down to Idaho to buy it and drive it back. I saved $300. Ironically, the factory is here in Edmonton. When you break it down, books are always more expensive and less available. Gas would be about $2.55 a gallon too.

I joke around about Canada being near second world country status maybe a 1.7 world country. Some things, like their banking system, are just too antiquated. Of course, there are good things about living here.

I noticed youre a HS Thompson fan. It is sad that he is gone, but I think he wouldnt have wanted to go out any other way.
Feb 28, 2005
sexdwarf:
El Camino is my JC, and the car I was obsessed iwth throughout highschool, I get your reference, its all about me.

[Edited on Feb 28, 2005 2:02PM]
Feb 28, 2005

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