30 days, motherfuckers! 30 motherfucking days! gah-hahaha! This sucks so hard! i would give my left nut to jack-off tonite without remorse....wait a sec....scratch that.
I do feel an overwelming since of achievement going this long.
When can i quit? when can i go back to having the option to whack it if i want to?
maybe soon. maybe not.
its the fact that i have no choice in the matter that makes me want to do it so bad. You know that, right?
I found my Stupid Yankee Girls notes. SYG is the short story that i lost. Though i dont remember naming it that. Heh. Maybe i didnt lose it, maybe i was just looking under the wrong title. Either way, the notes are rough. Way rough. So much so, that i dont think i can get the exact same content as i did with the first draft. I've got the poetic rambling and the key elements, but it lacks the elaboration of a good story.
I'm talking the good kind of elaboration. The one-of-a-kind kind. The drunk and nostalgic kind.
If i'm gonna link that story to Poly-Cotton Blend and Proverbial Vertebrae, i got some work to do. If i'm gonna do a screen work-up, i've got some work to do.
If i'm gonna shoot that, i've got some work to do.
Which brings me to the big snag in the 8yr plan. Getting my DUNS number. To do this, i need to register as an organization. This isnt a problem, i just gotta go up to the court house and fill out some papers and such. The plan is, so it's not COMPLETE fraud, to make it an artsy organization. Like a production company or something. 'Cept instead of being a company, we're an organization. It's gonna be me and Sammy setting this up. Once i do something, get the docuthingie out, then we'll organize some artwhatnot around town. Kinda like what Lori is doing. But only here. So, this way, it's not technically lying. Just kindatheoreticallymaybyslightly.
So, i get me a DUNS number, get a grant from the NEA and buy the ol camera. With the leftover cash, maybe to Cali to get some stuff at E3, put that in the docuthingie. Release the docuthinie and come to an agreement with the bands supporting the docuthingie to help promote the docuthingie.
Do some vids for the bands and stuff.
Then start on the original stuff.
Finish the scripts, get some actors together and shoot.
Maybe do more vignettes.
I like vignettes.
Shoot thru next year or two, move on to self promoting, doing treatments for some small indie-type companies. If Lisa N from PALM wasnt shitting me, get a distribution deal.
If this is harder than i think, do some shit for Sascha K and maybe work a deal with James M. Maybe get some financing going. By now, i'm in my third and fourth year as a filmmaker.
If i'm behind at this point, it's time to put the 8yr plan away and go to film school.
If i'm on schedule, i get a tiny distribution deal on some work. Maybe do some shite films to get some bank together to do something bigger. When i'm able to get 5-10 mil together to do a treatment for DAI or INK, i do it.
This is yrs 5-6. These come out and either show promise or become cult classics.
Any less than that and i have to accept that i'm a hack and i need to direct porn and tele commercials. And music videos for the likes of Nelly, Lil Jon, and whatever Pop-tart is hot at that point...you know...cause the only difference between doing videos for them, and doing porn and commercials is the amount of pay i get.
By this point the 8yr plan is moot. At this point, artistic integrity and creativity is moot. At this point i'm just trying to make a living. And since i dropped out of HS aaaaaand College, this is all i can do. Well, that and drink myself into a stupor and cause some shit.
But, if all goes well, after i do both INK and DAI, i can pull a Kubrick and do what the fuck i want. Pull a Polanski and move to France.
And have a seasonal house in Amsterdam.
And that's the 8yr plan inna nutshell...
And this is the snag. The DUNS number and the organization thingie and the grant from the NEA. If i dont do this, or if it gets fucked up, no camera.
Plan B is an evil, eeeeeeeeevil loan from a place that'll break my legs if i miss a payment.
Otherwise...i'm fucked. I might as well give up and become full time with PHD and accept being nothing for the next 40 years. By that time i will have saved up enough money to by a gun so i can blow the back of my head off.
So i'm really fucking optimistic that i get the DUNS number et al as to move on with the plan.
In the meantime, i'll shoot some vignettes and work on some vids and putter about with the editing programme.
Hmm...been eating Tic Tacs like a bastard the last few days. The white kind, not those pussy orange ones. And i'm broke again. Got some clothes and shoes and i'm bust again. In debt even. Motherfucker.
I forgot how much Heavy Metal 2000 sucked and rented it. I remember MDMFK being on the soundtrack, i remember System of a Down being on the soundtrack, but i forgot what a blasphemous addition it was to the first one.
I mean....
Heavy Metal 2000: What do you mean you can't find them? How do you lose a 6 foot bitch with a talking rock, huh?
Compared to....
Heavy Metal: Hangin's too good for 'im. Burnin's too good for 'im. He should be torn into little bisty pieces and buried alive!
Or
Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight
Or
I'm just scared i'm gonna come home one day and find you screwing the toaster.
Great lines. Great animation and music. Good VO. And it, well, it had humor....and bush.
It's maddening to meet someone and within the first five minutes knowing what they're all about. Although it's worse to be able to just look at someone and know, it's actually more common. These days, i find most people to be vacant, two dimensional characters putting all their eggs into the superficial basket. They have no experience, no talent at telling stories, and are completely useless people. They practice the aesthetic and circumvent the character development.
Bleeck.
if the Heavy Metal quotes werent enough; "You cant know peace without suffering."
I do feel an overwelming since of achievement going this long.
When can i quit? when can i go back to having the option to whack it if i want to?
maybe soon. maybe not.
its the fact that i have no choice in the matter that makes me want to do it so bad. You know that, right?
I found my Stupid Yankee Girls notes. SYG is the short story that i lost. Though i dont remember naming it that. Heh. Maybe i didnt lose it, maybe i was just looking under the wrong title. Either way, the notes are rough. Way rough. So much so, that i dont think i can get the exact same content as i did with the first draft. I've got the poetic rambling and the key elements, but it lacks the elaboration of a good story.
I'm talking the good kind of elaboration. The one-of-a-kind kind. The drunk and nostalgic kind.
If i'm gonna link that story to Poly-Cotton Blend and Proverbial Vertebrae, i got some work to do. If i'm gonna do a screen work-up, i've got some work to do.
If i'm gonna shoot that, i've got some work to do.
Which brings me to the big snag in the 8yr plan. Getting my DUNS number. To do this, i need to register as an organization. This isnt a problem, i just gotta go up to the court house and fill out some papers and such. The plan is, so it's not COMPLETE fraud, to make it an artsy organization. Like a production company or something. 'Cept instead of being a company, we're an organization. It's gonna be me and Sammy setting this up. Once i do something, get the docuthingie out, then we'll organize some artwhatnot around town. Kinda like what Lori is doing. But only here. So, this way, it's not technically lying. Just kindatheoreticallymaybyslightly.
So, i get me a DUNS number, get a grant from the NEA and buy the ol camera. With the leftover cash, maybe to Cali to get some stuff at E3, put that in the docuthingie. Release the docuthinie and come to an agreement with the bands supporting the docuthingie to help promote the docuthingie.
Do some vids for the bands and stuff.
Then start on the original stuff.
Finish the scripts, get some actors together and shoot.
Maybe do more vignettes.
I like vignettes.
Shoot thru next year or two, move on to self promoting, doing treatments for some small indie-type companies. If Lisa N from PALM wasnt shitting me, get a distribution deal.
If this is harder than i think, do some shit for Sascha K and maybe work a deal with James M. Maybe get some financing going. By now, i'm in my third and fourth year as a filmmaker.
If i'm behind at this point, it's time to put the 8yr plan away and go to film school.
If i'm on schedule, i get a tiny distribution deal on some work. Maybe do some shite films to get some bank together to do something bigger. When i'm able to get 5-10 mil together to do a treatment for DAI or INK, i do it.
This is yrs 5-6. These come out and either show promise or become cult classics.
Any less than that and i have to accept that i'm a hack and i need to direct porn and tele commercials. And music videos for the likes of Nelly, Lil Jon, and whatever Pop-tart is hot at that point...you know...cause the only difference between doing videos for them, and doing porn and commercials is the amount of pay i get.
By this point the 8yr plan is moot. At this point, artistic integrity and creativity is moot. At this point i'm just trying to make a living. And since i dropped out of HS aaaaaand College, this is all i can do. Well, that and drink myself into a stupor and cause some shit.
But, if all goes well, after i do both INK and DAI, i can pull a Kubrick and do what the fuck i want. Pull a Polanski and move to France.
And have a seasonal house in Amsterdam.
And that's the 8yr plan inna nutshell...
And this is the snag. The DUNS number and the organization thingie and the grant from the NEA. If i dont do this, or if it gets fucked up, no camera.
Plan B is an evil, eeeeeeeeevil loan from a place that'll break my legs if i miss a payment.
Otherwise...i'm fucked. I might as well give up and become full time with PHD and accept being nothing for the next 40 years. By that time i will have saved up enough money to by a gun so i can blow the back of my head off.
So i'm really fucking optimistic that i get the DUNS number et al as to move on with the plan.
In the meantime, i'll shoot some vignettes and work on some vids and putter about with the editing programme.
Hmm...been eating Tic Tacs like a bastard the last few days. The white kind, not those pussy orange ones. And i'm broke again. Got some clothes and shoes and i'm bust again. In debt even. Motherfucker.
I forgot how much Heavy Metal 2000 sucked and rented it. I remember MDMFK being on the soundtrack, i remember System of a Down being on the soundtrack, but i forgot what a blasphemous addition it was to the first one.
I mean....
Heavy Metal 2000: What do you mean you can't find them? How do you lose a 6 foot bitch with a talking rock, huh?
Compared to....
Heavy Metal: Hangin's too good for 'im. Burnin's too good for 'im. He should be torn into little bisty pieces and buried alive!
Or
Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight
Or
I'm just scared i'm gonna come home one day and find you screwing the toaster.
Great lines. Great animation and music. Good VO. And it, well, it had humor....and bush.
It's maddening to meet someone and within the first five minutes knowing what they're all about. Although it's worse to be able to just look at someone and know, it's actually more common. These days, i find most people to be vacant, two dimensional characters putting all their eggs into the superficial basket. They have no experience, no talent at telling stories, and are completely useless people. They practice the aesthetic and circumvent the character development.
Bleeck.
if the Heavy Metal quotes werent enough; "You cant know peace without suffering."
oh yeah did you ever see that "drinky crow" online comic about how the crwo saves money for suicide your situation made me think of that and grin