I'm not a hypochondriac as much as i'm an alarmist. Because every phantom bump is a tumor, every unusual mole is skin cancer. Lower back pain is my kidneys going out. I cant tell you how many times i've had blood poisoning or a deviated septum.
Dysentery.
A sprain is a dislocation. Ears ringing, brain tumor.
And my cold is H5N1. Avian bird flu.
Son of a bitch.
See, i was kinda freaking out about this whole avian flu thing last week. I'd just caught the headline Inevitable Pandemic and it was in my head for a few days. The more i thought about it, the more freaked out i got.
Then i thought, fuckit. I'll panic when it jumps to humans. That seems to be what everyone else was saying. So fuckit.
So i pick up October 21's Newsweek. It has i picture of a rooster being checked for the flu on the cover. The cover headline says The Bird Flu in big red letters. Below that it says, The race to prevent a GLOBAL EPIDEMIC.
A Global Epidemic being bold, whilst the rest of the text remains...texty.
I see this as it is, a cover story to sell copies. So i read in the inside cover, the explanation for the cover* and it says, Worries are growing that the avian flu-a strain of virus that begins in birds-could turn into a worldwide pandemic.
Again with the bold, but now it's grown into a pandemic.
Wait, isnt it implied that if it's a pandemic it's worldwide?
So, a worldwide pandemic, huh?
Yeah, so it goes on to say, Humans have little natural immunity to H5W. Already, the virus contains five out of the ten mutations that made the notorious 1918 flu bug so contagious, killing some 50 million worldwide.
The fear doesn't start creeping back in me till i see a picture of folks in Shanghai sleeping with their chickens.
Than it's all holy fuck, dont these people know we're on the brink of a global pandemic?!
But then it's like...fifty million people? China has, like, a billion. That would barely make a dent. Oh, i'm still freaked out. But i'm at a 4 at this point, down from an 8.
I'm basically a Worst Case Scenario guy.
Fuck proof reading.
* Cover cover cover cover.
Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
bitches.
Dysentery.
A sprain is a dislocation. Ears ringing, brain tumor.
And my cold is H5N1. Avian bird flu.
Son of a bitch.
See, i was kinda freaking out about this whole avian flu thing last week. I'd just caught the headline Inevitable Pandemic and it was in my head for a few days. The more i thought about it, the more freaked out i got.
Then i thought, fuckit. I'll panic when it jumps to humans. That seems to be what everyone else was saying. So fuckit.
So i pick up October 21's Newsweek. It has i picture of a rooster being checked for the flu on the cover. The cover headline says The Bird Flu in big red letters. Below that it says, The race to prevent a GLOBAL EPIDEMIC.
A Global Epidemic being bold, whilst the rest of the text remains...texty.
I see this as it is, a cover story to sell copies. So i read in the inside cover, the explanation for the cover* and it says, Worries are growing that the avian flu-a strain of virus that begins in birds-could turn into a worldwide pandemic.
Again with the bold, but now it's grown into a pandemic.
Wait, isnt it implied that if it's a pandemic it's worldwide?
So, a worldwide pandemic, huh?
Yeah, so it goes on to say, Humans have little natural immunity to H5W. Already, the virus contains five out of the ten mutations that made the notorious 1918 flu bug so contagious, killing some 50 million worldwide.
The fear doesn't start creeping back in me till i see a picture of folks in Shanghai sleeping with their chickens.
Than it's all holy fuck, dont these people know we're on the brink of a global pandemic?!
But then it's like...fifty million people? China has, like, a billion. That would barely make a dent. Oh, i'm still freaked out. But i'm at a 4 at this point, down from an 8.
I'm basically a Worst Case Scenario guy.
Fuck proof reading.
* Cover cover cover cover.
Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
bitches.
judas:
if you sleep with your chicken, you'll almost certainly kill it.