I just reread the last thing and noticed a mistake that kills meYou're and Your. Every time i see that i wanna kill the person that wrote it.
And i wrote it.
And i always said, If i had a reason to commit suicide i'd probably kill myself, so...
Their and They're pisses me off, too.
Damn you. Damn you to hell. AJ calls me anytime he needs a ride. I suck at driving. So i avoid his calls. And i have to come up with excuses like, I wasnt at home, i was in the shower, i didnt hear the ring. This always worked because they worked. Because i didnt have a cell. It worked.
I swear by it.
But after i got the damned thing i wrestled with the idea of giving him the number. If he had a bag, if i was waiting for him to call, i wanted him to have it. I wouldnt have to sit by the fucking phone and wait for his call.
I could go about my business and when he called he called, yeah?
But the fuck's got no license...so...
And now he's calling cos he needs a ride to Trish'sa co-worker who he's been saying he's gonna bang for however long.
Dont forget, this isnt his bitch, this is just a bitch.
Man-date.
I got bored at work and read a Readers Digest. That's what i do when i get bored, i read Readers Digest or Woman's Day or Golf Magazine (which i lovingly refer to as Flog Magazine), ESPN Mag, Sports Illustrated, Red Book, Cosmopolitan, The New Yorker...
But not for the articles, generally. Generally i just flip thru and find a Prescription ad and read the side effects.
Yeah.
But in Readers Digest they had an article about men. Not just about men, but about The Secret Lives Of Men. Great title. Attracted me, see, i was thinking that they were gonna say the new trend among College Men are Circle Jerks.
Well...i was hoping. Just because i wanna say I Told Ya So.
Just once i wanna be right about something like that.
...Right, so anyway, the article went on about how men are really sensitive, but they're hermit crabs and once they get hurt once they retreat back into they're shells, possibly never coming back out.
...Right. I'm like, no shit.
When talking to men about their feelings, you should talk side-by-side, not face-to-face. Men better convey their feeling when they dont have to make eye contact. Blah-dy blah-dy blah. You know how they do it. But the thing that caught me was Man-Date.
Readers Digest asserts that there's a new trend among men called a Man-Date. They say, in the most convincing type-set possible, that many magazines are saying that straight men are going out together to movies and dinner and museums.
...not just for sports and poker games.
I'm thinking this is why people think S and i are gaywe fucking shop together. We go to movies, dinner. We hang out just to hang out. Sleep in one anther's room. Sit up late and talk about the future and our hopes and dreams.
Straight men dont do these things? Straight dudes just play sports and play poker and go to bars?
No wonder they get married sooner or laterthat shit would get boring. Straight men is fucked.
Fucking women's for poofs
We've shopped for porn together, Sammy and i. Every time we go into Swinger's World there's always two dudes hanging out, browsing the porn, whispering things to one another. The first time i saw it I thought that was normal, you know?
When they rented a porn and went to the back room my only thought was Wow, you can rent the pornos! Then it was like, Oh...they were probably gay...
Porn Stores rock. I love a good porn store. Much like good record stores, a good porn shop should have a section dedicated to a genre you never knew existed. But that's just my opinion.
Rock/Pop, Rap/Hip-Hop, Metal, Instumental, Vinyl, Classical Techo-Polka...?
Straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Racial, Bi-Sexual, Blow-Jobs, Classic, Hermaphrodite Midget Gangbangs...yes.
A good porn should make you feel better about yourself.
If you're short and like shorter women, then the hermaphrodite Midget Gangbang's for you!
If you like your tiny women with a little something extra, the Hermaphrodite Midget Gangbang is for you!
If you feel threatened by dicks bigger than you, the Hermaphrodite Midget Gangbang's for you...!
Whilst watching 50 Guy Cream Pie 2 (AKA 65 Guy Cream Pie) the only thing i could think was, I will never be that desperate...
Just a little picker-upper.
If you can't feel better about yourself after watching some chick take 65 loads you're...fuckin...doomed, i guess. Kill yourself now, it's not gonna get any better.
And i wrote it.
And i always said, If i had a reason to commit suicide i'd probably kill myself, so...
Their and They're pisses me off, too.
Damn you. Damn you to hell. AJ calls me anytime he needs a ride. I suck at driving. So i avoid his calls. And i have to come up with excuses like, I wasnt at home, i was in the shower, i didnt hear the ring. This always worked because they worked. Because i didnt have a cell. It worked.
I swear by it.
But after i got the damned thing i wrestled with the idea of giving him the number. If he had a bag, if i was waiting for him to call, i wanted him to have it. I wouldnt have to sit by the fucking phone and wait for his call.
I could go about my business and when he called he called, yeah?
But the fuck's got no license...so...
And now he's calling cos he needs a ride to Trish'sa co-worker who he's been saying he's gonna bang for however long.
Dont forget, this isnt his bitch, this is just a bitch.
Man-date.
I got bored at work and read a Readers Digest. That's what i do when i get bored, i read Readers Digest or Woman's Day or Golf Magazine (which i lovingly refer to as Flog Magazine), ESPN Mag, Sports Illustrated, Red Book, Cosmopolitan, The New Yorker...
But not for the articles, generally. Generally i just flip thru and find a Prescription ad and read the side effects.
Yeah.
But in Readers Digest they had an article about men. Not just about men, but about The Secret Lives Of Men. Great title. Attracted me, see, i was thinking that they were gonna say the new trend among College Men are Circle Jerks.
Well...i was hoping. Just because i wanna say I Told Ya So.
Just once i wanna be right about something like that.
...Right, so anyway, the article went on about how men are really sensitive, but they're hermit crabs and once they get hurt once they retreat back into they're shells, possibly never coming back out.
...Right. I'm like, no shit.
When talking to men about their feelings, you should talk side-by-side, not face-to-face. Men better convey their feeling when they dont have to make eye contact. Blah-dy blah-dy blah. You know how they do it. But the thing that caught me was Man-Date.
Readers Digest asserts that there's a new trend among men called a Man-Date. They say, in the most convincing type-set possible, that many magazines are saying that straight men are going out together to movies and dinner and museums.
...not just for sports and poker games.
I'm thinking this is why people think S and i are gaywe fucking shop together. We go to movies, dinner. We hang out just to hang out. Sleep in one anther's room. Sit up late and talk about the future and our hopes and dreams.
Straight men dont do these things? Straight dudes just play sports and play poker and go to bars?
No wonder they get married sooner or laterthat shit would get boring. Straight men is fucked.
Fucking women's for poofs
We've shopped for porn together, Sammy and i. Every time we go into Swinger's World there's always two dudes hanging out, browsing the porn, whispering things to one another. The first time i saw it I thought that was normal, you know?
When they rented a porn and went to the back room my only thought was Wow, you can rent the pornos! Then it was like, Oh...they were probably gay...
Porn Stores rock. I love a good porn store. Much like good record stores, a good porn shop should have a section dedicated to a genre you never knew existed. But that's just my opinion.
Rock/Pop, Rap/Hip-Hop, Metal, Instumental, Vinyl, Classical Techo-Polka...?
Straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Racial, Bi-Sexual, Blow-Jobs, Classic, Hermaphrodite Midget Gangbangs...yes.
A good porn should make you feel better about yourself.
If you're short and like shorter women, then the hermaphrodite Midget Gangbang's for you!
If you like your tiny women with a little something extra, the Hermaphrodite Midget Gangbang is for you!
If you feel threatened by dicks bigger than you, the Hermaphrodite Midget Gangbang's for you...!
Whilst watching 50 Guy Cream Pie 2 (AKA 65 Guy Cream Pie) the only thing i could think was, I will never be that desperate...
Just a little picker-upper.
If you can't feel better about yourself after watching some chick take 65 loads you're...fuckin...doomed, i guess. Kill yourself now, it's not gonna get any better.
apaently you guys have the same great taste in movies.