Someone needs to tell Missy Suicide that more photo sets isnt necessarily a good thingthe quality of the sets'll go down hill. Fuck Mass Production.
There's a thin line between modesty* and low self-esteem that i seem to walk on a near constant basis.
Here's the thing about getting high with any kind of regularityyou forget why you're doing it. Well, you dont really forget, but it's like your body does.
See, i like to mellow outjust chill. At the end of a work-day some folks like to have a beer or other alcoholic indulgences, i personally would rather smoke a joint. The last thing i wanna do after a hard-days-work (haha) is think about the shit that went wrong, the shit is going wrong, or the shit that will go wrong. I dont wanna stress out, i dont wanna get tense and anxiousi dont wanna think about all the shit that needs to get done within the next few months.
That's what days and sobering up is for.
I wanna be unconditionally happyif only for four hours. I wanna feel free of burden and life and stress, and i want a motherfucking lime freezer pop.
And, like, some Kix, yo.
Because my immediate concerns when i'm stoned are mostly food related.
And what's gonna happen next on Aqua Teen. Because although i've seen the Broodwich episode 14 times i still get anxious when Shake finishes the Broodwich, and immediately relieved when it's revealed that he despises sun-dried tomatoes.
When you get high everyday for, say, three or four months, that feeling disappears. Oh, sure, there's still that initial burst of feeling free, but then it's like...i've already seen this...and i'm fucking still hungry. Goddamnit.
This sucks.
Once you get used to getting high, once you get used to the high feeling, when your mind's adapted to it, it becomes normal to feel high, so that feeling is no longer special. No longer pleasurable. It becomes ritual, like brushing your teeth or taking a drink.
Lighting a cigarette.
Hitting play.
Whatever.
So, after some amount of regularity a couple things happen.
One: After your mind adapts to the high feeling, you tend to enjoy the things you enjoyed whilst high when you're not high. Certain foods, certain sounds, certain feelings stay with you. They're just not as intense or as good. You dont have the same appreciation. Things dont sounds as nice, taste as good, or feel as soft. You still have the core (coeur?), but lack the essence.
The second thing, and probably most important, is, after habitually using for a minute or two you're able to function stoned with a fair amount of normalcy.
It's when your normal life and your stoned life begin to intersect and the line becomes blurred that you need to slow down. That's when you get high to feel normal, when the everyday feels fake. Or forced. Or some other F.
When it's really no longer about pleasure.
So i've been sobre about three weeks. If i were in a programme i'd have three key chains by now. It's not the longest i've gone, and that three month blow out wasnt the longest i've been on, but that's neither here nor there...or something.
Yes, i enjoy the whole waking up with only a modicum of struggle, without a pit in my stomach, and with somewhat of a smile. I also appreciate the clearheadedness and the ability to hold onto a thought for more than ten minutes. I think without these three weeks i couldnt have gotten as far on the story as i have.
I mean, i have journals and scraps of paper filled with twisted, stoned ramblings and fractured thoughts that were no doubt brilliant at the time of conception (?), but completely lacking in most respects of context and continuitybut you learn to write every high thought down because you know you wont remember it tomorrow.
With that being said, the story elements i've written (dialogue) lacks an abstract touch, an aethetic vision, and that certain pizzazif you catch my drift. So tonight i'm getting fucked and i'm gonna spiff shit up a bit.
It's like my wise Uncle Dwayne used to say, You cant clean the gutters from the ground.*
It should be noted that my Uncle Dwayne is now a crackhead.
But let us not focus on the negative, yeah? I've got a fat check, two bags, and the weekend's well in front of me, so fuck addictive personalities, abandonment issues, and late feesi want it to feel like new.
Boop.
*I dont think Modesty is really the right wordmy original choice was Humbleness, but i felt it disrupted/impeded the rhythm, and although there's no real difference in the definitions, i feel they both imply separate things in the same context.
*He really didnt say that, but it sounds like something he'd say.
There's a thin line between modesty* and low self-esteem that i seem to walk on a near constant basis.
Here's the thing about getting high with any kind of regularityyou forget why you're doing it. Well, you dont really forget, but it's like your body does.
See, i like to mellow outjust chill. At the end of a work-day some folks like to have a beer or other alcoholic indulgences, i personally would rather smoke a joint. The last thing i wanna do after a hard-days-work (haha) is think about the shit that went wrong, the shit is going wrong, or the shit that will go wrong. I dont wanna stress out, i dont wanna get tense and anxiousi dont wanna think about all the shit that needs to get done within the next few months.
That's what days and sobering up is for.
I wanna be unconditionally happyif only for four hours. I wanna feel free of burden and life and stress, and i want a motherfucking lime freezer pop.
And, like, some Kix, yo.
Because my immediate concerns when i'm stoned are mostly food related.
And what's gonna happen next on Aqua Teen. Because although i've seen the Broodwich episode 14 times i still get anxious when Shake finishes the Broodwich, and immediately relieved when it's revealed that he despises sun-dried tomatoes.
When you get high everyday for, say, three or four months, that feeling disappears. Oh, sure, there's still that initial burst of feeling free, but then it's like...i've already seen this...and i'm fucking still hungry. Goddamnit.
This sucks.
Once you get used to getting high, once you get used to the high feeling, when your mind's adapted to it, it becomes normal to feel high, so that feeling is no longer special. No longer pleasurable. It becomes ritual, like brushing your teeth or taking a drink.
Lighting a cigarette.
Hitting play.
Whatever.
So, after some amount of regularity a couple things happen.
One: After your mind adapts to the high feeling, you tend to enjoy the things you enjoyed whilst high when you're not high. Certain foods, certain sounds, certain feelings stay with you. They're just not as intense or as good. You dont have the same appreciation. Things dont sounds as nice, taste as good, or feel as soft. You still have the core (coeur?), but lack the essence.
The second thing, and probably most important, is, after habitually using for a minute or two you're able to function stoned with a fair amount of normalcy.
It's when your normal life and your stoned life begin to intersect and the line becomes blurred that you need to slow down. That's when you get high to feel normal, when the everyday feels fake. Or forced. Or some other F.
When it's really no longer about pleasure.
So i've been sobre about three weeks. If i were in a programme i'd have three key chains by now. It's not the longest i've gone, and that three month blow out wasnt the longest i've been on, but that's neither here nor there...or something.
Yes, i enjoy the whole waking up with only a modicum of struggle, without a pit in my stomach, and with somewhat of a smile. I also appreciate the clearheadedness and the ability to hold onto a thought for more than ten minutes. I think without these three weeks i couldnt have gotten as far on the story as i have.
I mean, i have journals and scraps of paper filled with twisted, stoned ramblings and fractured thoughts that were no doubt brilliant at the time of conception (?), but completely lacking in most respects of context and continuitybut you learn to write every high thought down because you know you wont remember it tomorrow.
With that being said, the story elements i've written (dialogue) lacks an abstract touch, an aethetic vision, and that certain pizzazif you catch my drift. So tonight i'm getting fucked and i'm gonna spiff shit up a bit.
It's like my wise Uncle Dwayne used to say, You cant clean the gutters from the ground.*
It should be noted that my Uncle Dwayne is now a crackhead.
But let us not focus on the negative, yeah? I've got a fat check, two bags, and the weekend's well in front of me, so fuck addictive personalities, abandonment issues, and late feesi want it to feel like new.
Boop.
*I dont think Modesty is really the right wordmy original choice was Humbleness, but i felt it disrupted/impeded the rhythm, and although there's no real difference in the definitions, i feel they both imply separate things in the same context.
*He really didnt say that, but it sounds like something he'd say.
I never get high. By which I mean I've only been high once. Ever. And I didn't like it at all. Granted, I was also drunk at the time, which probably tainted it. I felt like I was living in stop-motion.
And although I agree with you about the overall quality of the sets lately, there have been a few in the last couple weeks that are among my favorite sets ever. Like Miesha and Toby.