aikaterine

Kaskata, FrozenSunshine and I went to Applebee's tonight for dinner. It was nice. It cheered me up. I love you guys.

Then I went to the office to get some work done. I assigned some stories for next week and some graphics.

I asked Rob what was going on tomorrow and meeting with the police to discuss our roles because I need to make sure I'm free. We're meeting at 2:15. I said, "I'm probably not going to say anything or I'm going to be mad."

He said, "Just be civil. You're going to have to be next year."

"I'm not a civil person."

"Well, you're just going to have to do it."

I am not in the mood to "do it" anymore. I love newspapers. I love writing. I love reporting. I can deal with people on an immediate basis. I'm very friendly. But when it comes to working in an office situation with people for an extended period of time, I'm a fuck up. Let's see, what have I done this year?

- slept with my assistant
- got drunk and made out with a bunch of girls at Rob's house
- got stoned the night we put the paper to bed
- talked about Rob and Valerie behind their backs, and I am sure he knows
- fought with Melissa about how I am a terrible friend, which doesn't ease my relationship with the sports desk or the photo desk

How am I going to be editor in chief next year? I am not cut out for this. I can't, "just do it." My personality isn't that way.

I need a hug.