Let the whining begin:
Sunday April 7, 1985, Some time after 7:50pm
I'm so miserable. It's my birthday. How come I'm not having fun? Last year I had a great birthday at Alex's. We had a chili party. Leah and I were still going out (not for long). Actually that was the last time I got burned in a relationship. One year ago almost exactly.
Where can I get some food? Where can I get new friends? Where can I get a job?Where can I find a place to live? Where can I sleep tonight? I feel like a little fucking animal. I don't have anything to give anybody.I don't even give devotion or allegiance or anything because I turn on people. I forget that I need them and I say stuff about them. But I don't want to need people. I want to be able to turn on people without having to think "wait, will they stop bringing me food if I say this?" I usually end up saying it anyway. Sucks don't it?
I'm just sitting, waiting for food that's not coming. Someone punch me in the face and knock me back a few months so I cando this all the right way this time. There's no one to hang out with. Everyone is busy, gone, or doesn't want to talk to me. I AM absolute shit. I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to say. That, in my book, constitutes absolute shit. I just want things to get better. They can't get much worse.
I don't know where John is. I don't know if Claude and Hillary are back yet. I don't want to go see because:
1) I don't want to wake them up if they're asleep, and
2) because Wendy's home and and her door's open and I don't want her to see me like this.
I have no energy. I can't deal with anyone or anything right now, and I would just disappear if someone looked at me. I don't want to bother Bekka and Evan. Rachel's gone. Yosh doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Jess is god knows where. I don't know, I just want to give up. And it's my birthday, the worst I ever had.
Thanks.
*Yawn*
Maybe Corpho and Brandi77 are right.
But I happen to know it gets better.
Maybe even way better.
I can't really remember.
But I know I stop moping at some point and things HAPPEN.
What was your worst birthday ever?
worst birthday was probably this most recent one. a really kind friend threw me a party at which two people with way to much history and clashing proceeded to get too drunk and fight, resulting in both of them driving off and me worrying about their drunk asses driving around town.