Snow
Grey, snow tinged air swirled into the car when he opened the door, making me shiver as it swept the engine warmth out to the flat sky. His feet crunched through the ice crust and sank in the soft snow as he walked toward the back of the dirty Suburban.
What are we doing, Mommy? My eldest daughter asked from the back seat.
Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed her younger sister still slumped over napping against her toddler car-seat belt. Your Daddy has to put chains on the car, sweetie. I reached over and smoothed her blond curls. Here - put your coat over you itll keep you warm. I swallowed hard against the pain these movements caused. Maybe it was because the last five years I had been carrying two increasingly heavy children around, often both at once, or maybe it was because of a old accident that jerked my spine the wrong way and was destined to haunt me on and off for the rest of my life, but it had been weeks this time since I had been able to freely move without pain.
What do we need chains for, Mommy? In her five years on this planet she had never experienced the need for chains in temperate Oregon.
Well, we need to put chains on the car so the car will make it up the driveway. It helps the tires not slip. I glanced at the 400 yards of steep hill that lay between us and the cabin. The driveway was a white, smooth snake winding its way up our hill between the bare branches of the maples and the dark towering evergreens. We could have easily walked, but we had a weeks worth of supplies and clothes loaded into the car. And, as my husband pointed out, I couldnt carry anything so I was no help.
Shivering, I reached to pull my polar fleece over my head and snuggled into its soft blackness. The cold air wasnt helping the tight pain in my neck and shoulders. Neither was the incessant ringing telling us that the keys were in the ignition with the door open.
How much longer, Mommy? The whine creeping into her voice bounced off the ringing of the ignition and tightened my shoulders. I took in a deep breath of the sharp air blowing in through the open door. Letting it out I could taste stale coffee from the morning. I instinctively touched my thigh where my jeans were still damp with a light brown stain. I knew I had a mild burn. He liked his coffee cup brimmed. At every turn it had threatened to slosh over on me as usual; until, finally, as he accelerated into a left it had lived up to its promise.
Soon sweetie- just as soon as we get the chains on
But Im hungry, Mommy.
I know well be there soon. Then Ill make you a nice snack. Just be patient, honey. I forced my upper body to twist around and stroke her hair again. She pushed my hand away, causing sharp pains to shoot up my arm toward my head. They vibrated there, amplified by the ringing. I couldnt help letting out a gasp.
I know youre hungry. I am too. But you have to wait. I was as irritated as she was.
She started to sniffle and whine. Im hungry. I want to eat now.
Too bad youre just going to have to wait. I snapped, trying to ignore her tears which grew louder.
That damn ringing was driving me crazy. I didnt have the mobility to reach over and pull the heavy car door shut. Instead, I reached out to the keys in the ignition. Why hadnt I done this earlier, I wondered? It was such a simple solution. Just as my hands turned the key and pulled it out of the ignition, the car, jarred by the silence, rolled. Just a small roll as if the car now freed from whatever hold the keys had on it could now settle back a half-foot in comfort. Immediately, I knew I had made a mistake.
Before the image of my husband being trapped under the car as he put the chains on had even completely fleeted across my mind, he was at the open door, his face bulging with rage. His eyes bore into me with an unfathomable stare, his skin white with red dots in the center of each cheek, even his lips looked thicker.
You stupid bitch. He said it quietly, but each word was spat out with a sharp edge that cut through me. He slammed the door trapping his words in the car with us.
My youngest daughter let out a wail, angry at being awakened from a nap that wasnt long enough. My other daughters whiney cry had changed into scared sniffles that pained me more than my neck or his words that still lay across the tan upholstery ready to bite me if I moved.
I looked out at the white blanket that muffled the world and pulled its opaque cover over me, loosing myself in its empty coldness.
Grey, snow tinged air swirled into the car when he opened the door, making me shiver as it swept the engine warmth out to the flat sky. His feet crunched through the ice crust and sank in the soft snow as he walked toward the back of the dirty Suburban.
What are we doing, Mommy? My eldest daughter asked from the back seat.
Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed her younger sister still slumped over napping against her toddler car-seat belt. Your Daddy has to put chains on the car, sweetie. I reached over and smoothed her blond curls. Here - put your coat over you itll keep you warm. I swallowed hard against the pain these movements caused. Maybe it was because the last five years I had been carrying two increasingly heavy children around, often both at once, or maybe it was because of a old accident that jerked my spine the wrong way and was destined to haunt me on and off for the rest of my life, but it had been weeks this time since I had been able to freely move without pain.
What do we need chains for, Mommy? In her five years on this planet she had never experienced the need for chains in temperate Oregon.
Well, we need to put chains on the car so the car will make it up the driveway. It helps the tires not slip. I glanced at the 400 yards of steep hill that lay between us and the cabin. The driveway was a white, smooth snake winding its way up our hill between the bare branches of the maples and the dark towering evergreens. We could have easily walked, but we had a weeks worth of supplies and clothes loaded into the car. And, as my husband pointed out, I couldnt carry anything so I was no help.
Shivering, I reached to pull my polar fleece over my head and snuggled into its soft blackness. The cold air wasnt helping the tight pain in my neck and shoulders. Neither was the incessant ringing telling us that the keys were in the ignition with the door open.
How much longer, Mommy? The whine creeping into her voice bounced off the ringing of the ignition and tightened my shoulders. I took in a deep breath of the sharp air blowing in through the open door. Letting it out I could taste stale coffee from the morning. I instinctively touched my thigh where my jeans were still damp with a light brown stain. I knew I had a mild burn. He liked his coffee cup brimmed. At every turn it had threatened to slosh over on me as usual; until, finally, as he accelerated into a left it had lived up to its promise.
Soon sweetie- just as soon as we get the chains on
But Im hungry, Mommy.
I know well be there soon. Then Ill make you a nice snack. Just be patient, honey. I forced my upper body to twist around and stroke her hair again. She pushed my hand away, causing sharp pains to shoot up my arm toward my head. They vibrated there, amplified by the ringing. I couldnt help letting out a gasp.
I know youre hungry. I am too. But you have to wait. I was as irritated as she was.
She started to sniffle and whine. Im hungry. I want to eat now.
Too bad youre just going to have to wait. I snapped, trying to ignore her tears which grew louder.
That damn ringing was driving me crazy. I didnt have the mobility to reach over and pull the heavy car door shut. Instead, I reached out to the keys in the ignition. Why hadnt I done this earlier, I wondered? It was such a simple solution. Just as my hands turned the key and pulled it out of the ignition, the car, jarred by the silence, rolled. Just a small roll as if the car now freed from whatever hold the keys had on it could now settle back a half-foot in comfort. Immediately, I knew I had made a mistake.
Before the image of my husband being trapped under the car as he put the chains on had even completely fleeted across my mind, he was at the open door, his face bulging with rage. His eyes bore into me with an unfathomable stare, his skin white with red dots in the center of each cheek, even his lips looked thicker.
You stupid bitch. He said it quietly, but each word was spat out with a sharp edge that cut through me. He slammed the door trapping his words in the car with us.
My youngest daughter let out a wail, angry at being awakened from a nap that wasnt long enough. My other daughters whiney cry had changed into scared sniffles that pained me more than my neck or his words that still lay across the tan upholstery ready to bite me if I moved.
I looked out at the white blanket that muffled the world and pulled its opaque cover over me, loosing myself in its empty coldness.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
kozmikgirl:
Your posting skills suck! 
kozmikgirl:
Oh & I have NO idea whatsoever for a costume. If I can't figure it out in time, oh well, I just will do something else instead I guess. I am finding that I am not at all imaginative when it comes to costumes. I have been a cat every year since... well I think I have never been anything else actually. How boring is that?