Is it true?

6

Is this statement true for you:

I come home from work, change clothes, sit in front of the computer and masturbate.

(a) Yes, 100% true.

(b) Fuck no. Masturbation is the LAST thing on my to-do list.

(c) Nunya bizness, nosey biatch!

(d) Sometimes true, sometimes not.

The reason I ask is because there was this part in Chuck Klosterman's book The Visible Man,...
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turnpro:
Klosterman! Hell yeah. 
turnpro:
Oh, and the answer for me is d. Rarely, actually. More often it's the last thing I do before going to sleep (I sleep naked and I'm already in bed, so...yeah) and the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning (morning wood BIG TIME and then I just get in the shower....)

All is vanity.

8

Loves. Lovers. Why are we working so hard? What is it all for? We need to constantly center and then re-center ourselves. Where to look for directions? Ecclesiastes. It's the only book in the Bible worth re-reading a bajillion times [well, I'm a wee bit partial to Song of Solomon as well] and it is the simplest how-to-live-life manual you can find.

I'm paraphrasing of...
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adelina:
@kaicito Have not read any Goffman. Sounds like my cup o'tea! I am intrigued by the line between individual authenticity versus performance. Thanks for the recommendation. 
turnpro:
Yeah, that sounds interesting....

The Selfie.

6

I'd like to dedicate my final post for the year 2013 to Oxford Dictionary's Word-of-the-Year, "selfie." Yes, folks, you've probably already heard, but in case you didn't, this year's special word is none other than SELFIE. If you're on this site [or instagram or any other social networking site], you've probably taken a selfie. And for better or worse, you also have seen innumerable selfies...
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adelina:
@gideonstargrave It's always in the pudding. <333
adelina:
@ostrich YES! Transparently so. <333

Forgiveness and New Beginnings.

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So, we've almost made it to the end of another year, according to the Gregorian calendar. And as such, we will all inevitably spend a few moments quietly reflecting upon the past year, and look forward to the promising new possibilities of the upcoming year. Before being able to fully engage in reflection though, I feel like the F word needs to come into play.
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adelina:
@horror_head Hahaha!! Love the stories of your grandparents. This one with your grandma cracked me up! And the one you mentioned before about your grandpa did the same. And I don't know if it's narcissistic to forgive or not forgive. Maybe both? I think almost every human action has at least some tiny bit of narcissism to it.
gideonstargrave:
This, I believe, is why it takes actual, literal practice, i.e. mindfulness of our thought processes, to learn to take it easy on ourselves and be less judgmental and more accepting of both ourselves and others.

A Gift.

6

Gingerbread people and houses. Might not want to look too closely at our gingerbread decorating. It's a little iffy. The ginger people don't fit in the homes, but Santa and his reindeer plan on eating it tonight anyway.

Hope you all are having happy holidays with your loved ones!

I am so lucky to get to spend it with some my favorite people on Earth.
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estrada:
I hear gingerbread people are cannibals.
estrada:
A bit of cannibalism never hurts... the devourer.

Living forever.

8

You've all probably been asked some version of this question-- If you had only one day left to live, what would you do? How would you spend your very last day alive? [And you've probably answered, I'm going to Disneyland! Or maybe, I'd go skydiving and paragliding and visit the mouth of an actively erupting volcano! And I'd eat the fattiest trans-fatty, HFCS, GMO-MSG-filled, gluten-laden
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adelina:
@wyldechylde I was actually hoping someone would mention what a pointless meaningless question this is! Hahaha. I love pointless meaningless questions, you know. For example, my favorite one is "What's the meaning of life?" or "If you won the lottery, what would you buy?" or "If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?" or even, "If you could be any animal [other than human], which one would it be and why?" I was really just wondering why the question "What would you do today if you died tomorrow?" is a more popular question than "How would you live if you could live forever?" But you're right, it is ultimately meaningless! Hope you are having a splendid xmas with your family! xx
jaguar6234:
I like the question " If you could live for ever would you want to? I always expected to grow old with my wife... But cancer took her away just 13 years after we met. I think if living forever meant never getting sick and being free of  ailment, I would want that for her. But if living forever meant you could still get the same afflictions but never die from them... I would choose not to live for ever.....I think mortality is a painful gift of life... but again its all meaningless right.... We have to do what we think is best with the time we have... I like the deep thoughts though....  

Holiday Potato Project.

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Potato family. With holiday hats. In case you were wondering what this is, it's the classic potato project/experiment. Stab potatoes with toothpicks, submerge it partway into some water and wait for something to grow. I don't remember doing this in my childhood. Do you? [I did the bean project though. The one where you put some beans on a wet paper towel and stick it
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adelina:
@harshrocker If I give the tubers fresh water every few days, do you think that will cut down on the mold potential?
harshrocker:
@ADELINA I think if they are kept like that, then will probably be OK. Maybe change the water if it gets nasty looking.

Thanks for having a penis.

13

Guys. How often do you think of your dick during the day?

Like let's just say you're awake a typical 16 hours in a 24 hour period, how often would your thoughts turn to your cock, or sex, or ways to gratify yourself and your partner? I've always wanted to know. About once an hour? Whenever you see anything shaped like a long cylinder? Or...
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turnpro:
Agree with Horror. If i see an attractive girl, I will wonder "what her sex is like." I definitely get imaginative thoughts: What does she sound like when having sex/orgasm...what does her vagina look/taste like...what gets her off...whatever. 
turnpro:
As far as thinking about my cock (hotter word than DICK), it varies, of course, but I think once an hour is probably a good average. Sometimes it just feels good in my pants (that sounds funny) and i will start to get hard and then naturally think about that. I definitely think about it first thing in the morning. I'm always horny then and very often masturbate before i get out of bed. That's very convenient because i get covered in cum and can just get in the shower, lol. Speaking of which, I love how you said "you can count on me to come up with more questions if these aren't personal enough." Love it. Bring it on. 

Ugly Christmas Sweater Time.

7

When I went to the local thrift shop almost 3 weeks ago, I thought it would be relatively easy to find a wide assortment of ugly christmas sweaters to choose from. Not so, not so. Not a single ugly xmas sweater to choose from. [Did I come too late in the season? Too many ugly xmas sweater parties now? Too much demand, too few sweaters?
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horror_head:
Job well done! Looks like something out of 1970s hell.
rhody:
I kind of want one really bad. They're awesome!

The MisAdventures of the Elf on the Shelf.

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Elf on the Shelf is a mischievous fellow. An impish Santa's little helper, since 2005. Gets into heaps of trouble. If you haven't heard of him, he is essentially a toy and book combo used by parents as a behavioral tool for kids, because the elf is Santa's spy and will inform Santa of any funny business. During his time off, it seems as though...
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ostrich:
Have to give the man props: if those finger cots fit him, then, proportionally, he is PACKING.
leviathin:
I guess it pays to be bendable in any way lol
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