have you visited falling water?
is filing for bankruptcy an "easy way out" of paying debt? i can see why some might think so. but sometimes there really isnt another option, is there? i don't believe in suicide, but i'd rather kill myself than declare bankruptcy. i think it's so unfair to create debt that you won't be required to pay back. still it's interesting that elton john, burt reynolds and barry manilow all declared bankruptcy, and hey aren't they great guys? what is the most you would lend to someone? my mom's coworkers ask my mom for money now and then, and they never pay her back, not even months or years later. i'm not talking about a five, ten, twenty, or fifty dollar bill, but a couple thousand dollars here and another there. when i think of it, it really upsets me. my mom is a saint, she tries her best to help anyone she can, much to her own detriment. she would never ask for her money back. grr. why can't people just stop taking advantage of each other? and then there is a particular deadbeat uncle in my family who "bought" a mercedes SUV, but now my mom has been making the monthly payments for him for over a year now. (and it's so unfair because while she pays off his car, she can't afford a newer vehicle for herself...and she has always wanted to buy a new car for herself AND my mom should instead be saving for retirement rather than using her money for a luxury non-necessity automobile for a relative who doesnt even live here in the US but comes to visit every few months, PLUS my mom doesnt even get to use the vehicle). all of this is an example of an "asian" cultural thing. my mom does it because she feels it is a responsibility, a moral obligation to take care of relatives "in need." i guess i shouldnt feel bad about it. it's really not my prerogative, none of my business.
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Bankruptcy is for people like me who have no other options. My debt wasn't frivolous consumer spending and they determine that in court when you have the creditors notice. They have a chance to challenge your claim. BK gives you a chance to start over. It's going to take me years to rebuild my credit, but I certainly will not repeat the same mistakes and I hope I don't have the same misfortune.
It's tough being compassionate in a situation like your mother's. Everyone has to make sure their kindness doesn't forgoe wisdom. I am doing the best to ensure I repay all the kindness I have received from others.
My new job involves receiving and barcoding media for dubbing and conversions. Then, we have to move the stuff around internally and a lot of times, we are searching for some tape or piece of film. Pro Hide & Seek.
[Edited on Feb 25, 2005 7:03AM]
I agree with shard, bankrupcy is for people who run out of options. There's nothing wrong with declaring it if you have tried everything else but circumstances just forced you into it. There are people who try to game the system, but they're all going to hell (or at least heck).
I have lent people money, but I would rather just give it. That way, there are never any hard feelings and I know I'm not giving away money that I may need later.
I have family members like your mom, who feel the need to single-handedly support the family and keep harmony, and I have family members who would take advantage of everyone if you let them. If you are upset about her over-generous habits, just sit down and talk to your mother about how you feel. It probably won't change her mind much, but maybe you can get her to be more discerning about who she helps.
Why does it have to be a Mercedes, btw? What's wrong with a Toyota or a Ford? I'm no fan of conspicuous consumption, especially when its at someone else's expense.