A truly unforgettable day.
-- I played keno and won $33.33!
-- I had anal sex 13 times, today!
-- I drank three six-packs of beer all by myself!
-- I ate candy corn birthday cake!
-- I slapped the rosy pink bumcheeks of the Nietzsche fanboy I live with, 23 times!
-- I met James Franco, and he's definitely not gay!
-- I read Cracked articles while pissing in a neon pink pot!
-- I gingerly kissed the big toes of the Holy 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet, and then removed the toe jam stuck in my teeth!
-- I recharged my batteries!
-- I feel good! Life is good! I LOVE YOU ALL!
Yes, really!
xo