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The problem with crazy old journal entries is that every time you want to update you realize that you have to explain what the hell's been going on during the craziest four months of your life, so you get discouraged and instead write journal-sized entries on the boards, in groups, and as comments in other friends' journals. It's a vicious cycle.

So let's pretend I was abducted by aliens (be jealous Cassiopeia) and I'd really prefer not to talk about it, as the flashbacks are bad enough as it is. Instead I'll share some insights into my weekend.

It started 9 am Friday, when I woke up to the sound of a rumbling drum line outside my window. I live in front of a high school and across the street from a stadium, so it's not unusual to hear announcers and cheering crowds and such in the distance, but this sounds like it's right outside my window.

Sure enough...



My favorite part was the poopsmith; because there's nothing quite like a little horseshit outside your window start the day off right.



I then packed up to head to Vancouver, BC for the weekend to visit FreakPirate, Malloreigh, and Rin. The drive up was uneventful; I saw Seattle for the first time from a distance, which looked all new and shiny. Rin would have you believe this is an admirable trait for a city to have, but I prefer the old-timey feel of Portland.



And for you indie music trivia buffs I also passed by Interstate 5 offramp #108 in Lacey, Washington. There was a band that had their early practices here, but their name slips my mind at the moment.



So after a leisurely drive I waited for a bit at the border. I won't say exactly how long I waited, but if you're curious you can ask Rin. I entertained myself by singing the Canadian national anthem, except I only know the first two words so I had to make up my own lyrics...

O Canada, you're almost a real country
O Canada, you have funny looking money
O Canada, you look like America's hat
O Canada, at least your citizens aren't fat

I eventually reached the border though, documenting my first time outside the US. I was interrogated by a dubiously hot border patrol woman. After others told me that they too have been questioned by hot border patrols I've developed a theory that Canada does this on purpose. You find their hotness disarming and they get more insight into whether you're a terrorist or not. Having to explain that I was visiting people I'd never met before, who I know from a website called SuicideGirls wasn't at all awkward either.

After getting over the initial culture shock I learned several things about the area. It seems that Canada has decided turning lanes and traffic signals with dedicated turn lights are superflous. Yellow lights therefore serve the dual purpose of saying "slow down" and "get the hell out of the intersection". Green lights also serve a dual purpose, solid being "go" and blinking being "there is no cross street signal, so you may get hit by oncoming traffic". I assume their thinking is you either learn the system, or die trying. Either way their bases are covered. Thanks to FreakPirate these were, eventually, made aware to me.

Also, it rarely ever snows in Vancouver, so I'm told. It should come as no surprise then that the area was blanketed by its first snow storm during my stay. I guess mother nature just wanted to give me the full Canadian experience.





Aside from a brief encounter on a day trip to Mt. Hood last year, which counts as my first time seeing snow, this would be my first time actually interacting with it, walking in it, driving in it, and trying not to die on my way home in it. The latter of which counts as one of my major accomplishments.

I also had fun with Canadian stereotypes. For example, did you know Canadians like hockey? Apparently they do. A lot. Enough that they actually put it on their money. I also have a theory that Canada deliberately makes their money seem like it has little or no value, so that stupid Americans spend it wildly without remorse. "$20? That's like 43 cents American, right? I'll take six!"



And did you ever watch those cartoons that had the US-Canadian border, and on the US side it was pristine and the Canadian side buried in snow? This was the border heading back into the US, and yet within a few miles of crossing the border the snow stopped and the roads cleared up to barely a glaze.



But seriously, before half my friends list starts sniping back at me, Canada was great. The people I met were awesome, and the places I visited far exceeded my expectations. And despite FP's claims to my grumbling, even the weather was fun. I look forward to going up there again soon.

Oh, and for the record, Beluga whales are currently my favorite animal that isn't a cephalopod.