Just like heaven...
What a beautiful movie;
I won't lie, I do enjoy "chick flicks". I am a hopeless romantic, and they are just such warm forms of entertainment. Though right now may not be a great time to watch them. As I sit here, still fighting off the tears of both joy and sadness, I contemplate the emptiness that fills me.
Why do I feel so empty? Why am I depressed? I don't even know. One thing I do know, is that I am sorry. My apologies extended out to those whom have had to endure this behaviour. Unfortunately, though, my LiveJournal is my only escape and only way to vent and let it out. I hide all my feelings the rest of the time, but not on here, and I am sorry for leaving you all with such emo opinions of my life.
When will the emptiness be filled? Not anytime soon, I am sure. I don't really know what it is. Is it a lack of school, lack of work, lack of love? Is it something simpler or more complicated? I don't even know. I do know one thing; it is time for another cleansing of my body and soul. No more indulging in the false happinesses that have been my only source of Euphoria for the last while.
What exactly does this mean? It means that except for special occasions (Birthdays, Holidays and special celebrations), I am not going to abuse any substances, engage in loveless actions (ie: casual sex), or abuse myself in any matter. Instead I am going to take the higher road. I am going to seek new work, even if it be something as simple as retail (but audio/theatrical related) but with a steady and fulfilling schedule. I am going to finally get going on some adult education classes, if it is school that I want to persue later on, I need to make sure that all the doors are open. It means that I am going to start eating at home more, and better. I am going to start working on my body and improving its physical condition via exercise (but the kind I love; dance and likewise activity). I am going to (hopefully, lol) get back to my singing lessons. I am no where near where I used to be, and I miss being able to sing Sondheim with no problem.
My life is hollow at the moment, and I have done NOTHING to improve it, so enough is enough! Fuck this lifestyle of self-destruction, and no, I am not giving up my gothy ways, lol, just refining the negative portion of it. I used to be a happy and excited individual whom brought warmth and love to others. I used to really enjoy work, time with others and every moment of life. It is time to restore that part of me.
What a beautiful movie;
I won't lie, I do enjoy "chick flicks". I am a hopeless romantic, and they are just such warm forms of entertainment. Though right now may not be a great time to watch them. As I sit here, still fighting off the tears of both joy and sadness, I contemplate the emptiness that fills me.
Why do I feel so empty? Why am I depressed? I don't even know. One thing I do know, is that I am sorry. My apologies extended out to those whom have had to endure this behaviour. Unfortunately, though, my LiveJournal is my only escape and only way to vent and let it out. I hide all my feelings the rest of the time, but not on here, and I am sorry for leaving you all with such emo opinions of my life.
When will the emptiness be filled? Not anytime soon, I am sure. I don't really know what it is. Is it a lack of school, lack of work, lack of love? Is it something simpler or more complicated? I don't even know. I do know one thing; it is time for another cleansing of my body and soul. No more indulging in the false happinesses that have been my only source of Euphoria for the last while.
What exactly does this mean? It means that except for special occasions (Birthdays, Holidays and special celebrations), I am not going to abuse any substances, engage in loveless actions (ie: casual sex), or abuse myself in any matter. Instead I am going to take the higher road. I am going to seek new work, even if it be something as simple as retail (but audio/theatrical related) but with a steady and fulfilling schedule. I am going to finally get going on some adult education classes, if it is school that I want to persue later on, I need to make sure that all the doors are open. It means that I am going to start eating at home more, and better. I am going to start working on my body and improving its physical condition via exercise (but the kind I love; dance and likewise activity). I am going to (hopefully, lol) get back to my singing lessons. I am no where near where I used to be, and I miss being able to sing Sondheim with no problem.
My life is hollow at the moment, and I have done NOTHING to improve it, so enough is enough! Fuck this lifestyle of self-destruction, and no, I am not giving up my gothy ways, lol, just refining the negative portion of it. I used to be a happy and excited individual whom brought warmth and love to others. I used to really enjoy work, time with others and every moment of life. It is time to restore that part of me.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
i dont even know if I want that magical place again.... blegh. well not or now that is.