I was speaking to a friend about the current lack of heros, and he stated that there are intelligent people discussing the issues just like me and him. To which I posed the question why doesn't someone like us become a leader? After much discussion we came up with two main reasons: confidence and sacrifice, which I would like to discuss. Confidence: funny, to say I could never be that leader is giving up and if everyone said that there would never be any leaders, but to say I could be that leader seems a bit presumptuous, even for a leo like myself. U look up at these people who are amazing and leadership seems to have naturally fallen in their laps for no desire of their own. Why then does leadership not naturally fall to the right voices as it seems to have done in the past, without any interferance from those chosen? Did those like MLK decide to be great and go after it, as it seems one must do viciously to be heard in this current of apathy? I know that Eminem fought for his voice to be heard, but even he says he never intended for it to become the level of fame it did: "my name was not sposed to become what it became with this level of fame my soul is possesed by this devil" (Rainman, Encore). And even if someone has enough confidence in themself to say, yes I could be a good leader, how do they go about it? Does anyone but those who have truly walked before us as greats know the path? I wouldn't know where to begin. Perhaps with research one could find out, or I would like to think fate would lend them a hand if they followed their heart and just kept doing the right thing hoping someone would follow. Its funny, it is not the individual, but the movement that gets things done, but with out a figurehead a movement is hard to get going. Would the civil rights movement of the 1960s succeeded without MLK to focus the movemnt's energy? Then there is sacrifice. Most leaders end up assassinated, and there are painful choices. I wondered last time if I could continue to ignore my fanancial situation for the greater good once I had a family, for Id be risking their well being as well as my own. A leader would not need to only consider their safety, but the safety of everyone around them. They would have to consider that time to pursue love and children and other things dear to their heart might have to be sacrificed to spend fighting in the movement. But then u think, well someone has to do it. How selfish if no one is willing to risk it all for something so important, like the right for equal marriage, trueness to the first amendment (freedom of religion and speach among other things), true sexual and racial equality etc. I think of that little dream tho, picking up the kids from school and greating my wife at home, having a nice family dinner, celebrating the sabats and esabats together, having a real family for the first time in my life and I wonder how in the world I could think to jepordize that for anything. And then I realize it already is jepordized: the right to be next to my wife in the hospital, the constant fear of being fired, the constant fear that some stranger will lash out because Im different and the law won't protect me or my family, the right to have off on my religious holidays, the right to practice any profession even serve in the military if thats where my heart leads, the right to be paid equal to a man for my work, the right to play on an equal playing field in sports, I could go on all day. I was talking about this sacrifice to my room mate and he said something that really woke me up. I was saying that I would be worried if I were in a leadership position to do such things for my family's well being and he says to me "Dont u get it, u would be fighting for ur family's well being. If they were safe already there would be no need for leaders." I was blown away. Cuz hes completely right. Ok, so I hear the words of Paul Muad'dib echo in my mind. Terrible purpose. Goddess, I know not if I am capable, but I do know this: sacrifice and all, given the chance to do such good, I would take it. Goddess help me, but I would. Now where the hell do I go from here?
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