nolan_void

Ha. Funny, I think of the maturity you described as just common sense... Either way, you'll find someone with the level of maturity that you speak of soon enough. Just hang in there, kid

Haha. Actually, Im supposed to start a new excercise routine this week too. Mine is less self imposed and more forced by my neighbor. But it will be good for me, because by "new excercie routine" i mean FIRST EVER excercise routine. I hate physical exertion unless its dancing or sex.

This will be interesting.

<( me after routine starts)

I always found great pleasure in things that leaned towards the morbid side. The strange looks I get for my collection get a bit tiresome after a while, but I've just learned to shrug my shoulders and not care what other people say. However, it is kind of upseting when someone you're interested in REALLY doesn't like your collection because that just puts a damper on the whole relationship (only because I feel that relationships are about compromise and that gets a little difficult when the views are such polar opposites).
*sigh*
Well, good luck finding yours. Wish me luck on finding mine

Yeah my four closest friends all have significant others so I know how you feel. With or without a girlfriend I will always remain deviant hehe. Life is too short not to tear shit up haha.

There's an old Buddhist saying that goes "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the only one who gets burned"....

I think LaVey just sorta stole Ayn Rand's whole philosophy and glamorized it hehe. But anyways, for me being totally self-important would be hard to do because we are all socialized to feel good whenever we help others, so it would be really hard to un-learn that feeling we get. And then on the other hand it would be really hard to be have total self-denial because it's our primal urge to be selfish.

I think most people fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. But when we die we are not going to paradise or eternal damnation or be reincarnated into little Hindu cows, our being just ceases to exist. So no matter how selfish or altruistic you are during life it doesn't really matter because you won't remember any of it when you're buried six feet underground anyways haha. That's just the cynical existentialist in me talking hehe.

"kinda kinky" like your fantasy. I wanna be a roller derby girl!

Re: staying busy. Totally know what you mean. It was that way last night, while I was clearly avoiding bed, It didnt feel emotional. It didnt feel like I was avoiding bed because of the dreams, it felt like I was just, getting some shit done that needed to get done.
It was productivity outside of my head. Im exhausted with trying to resolve my headthings, Im exhausted with the exterior clutter that follows interior chaos. Fuck that shit. So I cleaned house. Literally.

...the thing about failings...Actually, I have to break away from her because she wont deal with her failings...she wont love herself for that, she will just follow her failures like a trajectory and pretend that they arent failures at all, so she makes more mistakes and is becoming dangerous to herself and others...
Anyway, its a hard habit to break. Its such a worthwhile habit to break.
Im hugging my flaws right now. And it feels nice.

Wonderful words.

Im definantly filing those words away for future usage.

We are, quite. This body is a community.

D'oh. Double Post.

Avoid TV.

[Edited on Jan 31, 2006 7:26PM]

In a way, I hope that you are right about that, while also hoping that you are wrong. In most of my dreams I feel a deep sense of powerlessness.

Sensational. Do you have a capable artist...? I think I would kill to have my characters drawn with skill.

It's not so much the contrast or the conflict, it is the prospect of change...

Damn good to see you made it back...

Welcome back to the SG, I just returned myself.
Do you still talk to Charolette ever?

Fare thee well.
I wish you success and joy.