....from a high maintenance queen.
I just want someone who puts as much thought into me as I do them, and shows it in actions and things, not words. I need tangible. It's just how I'm wired. My experiences, my memories all need physical things to keep me connected with them. Words, unless written, are simply that, words. Lost in the air. I suppose that...
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There are no simple words to explain how it is living with an ex (be it spouse, partner, lover or what have you). It's like living with a ghost. An odd sort of purgatory. Life, the mundane parts of life, just keep on going. Defiantly laughing in your face that nothing is, nor ever will be, the same. You wake up, you eat, you work,...
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On the bright side to everything falling apart means one (me) is in the unique position of being able to rebuild precisely how I want. Fitting as I'm currently in the process of renovating a house, and I just sold my car and am spec-ing out a new one, I feel like I'm literally and figuratively spec-ing out my whole life. I just wish there...
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Why do you always tend to be terrible? Don't get me wrong, it doesn't have a thing to do with Valentine's Day, but for whatever reason, Feb. has historically been a month I could well do without. It's too bad, I actually like the sentiment of Valentine's Day. More importantly , Lupercalia, the pagan Feb. holiday. Less about "love" and more about primal need. But...
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There are times when I wish I believed in a god, higher power, or what have you. So I can just give up and put it all in someone else's lap. So that giving up didn't feel like I'm giving up on myself and the things that I so intensely believed in. So that I didn't harbor self hate because I feel like I'm not...
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So hard to swallow but I do it in hopes that things get better. I'm so tired though. Beat down and wonder when I'll find the right Rx to make this all stop.
Wondering if you miss me.
71 Pages of blog entries over the last 10+ years of being here. While it may not be as many as some, it's quite a lot for me. It's amazing, and slightly terrifying, to have that out in the world for me (or anyone else) to access whenever I want. I've always been the type to cling to things though. Old letters, pictures, ticket...
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His warmth, laughter, and hugs will be missed.
Damn, time went quick.
Kisses