It's weird when you can actually feel yourself changing into a different person. More adult person. So so far I have succeeded in moving out of my flat, deleting suppliers numbers and dealing with multiple calls and texts asking me to get high with a firm no.
Early early days.
So much happier.
Changing, hoping enough, feels enough, is enough unless I regress, what causes...
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Early early days.
So much happier.
Changing, hoping enough, feels enough, is enough unless I regress, what causes...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
psyko514:
Keep it up and stay strong!
conqueringking:
Stay strong. Taking control of your live is a very difficult thing and I'm glad that you are suceeding.
Have rung CADS and told 'em i'm having some problems. I think they'll hook me up with a good drugs counselor. I want this shit to stop! So i'm going to try my hardest. Will have to move out of my flat as my dealer lives next door. I'll update in two weeks and see how I am.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
billyus52:
I hope you get through this.
floyd:
Stay strong and positive!
I'm struggling with my seemingly compulsive obsession to keep taking things in order to escape my reality. And my reality isn't even bad, when i've been sober for a few weeks i feel brilliant - but I also feel as if i'm on a tight rope and i'm going to fall off at some stage so why not now? And then I just want to...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sbmick:
Come chat, Psw ROOM.
I knew you'd get a bunch of comments... <3
I knew you'd get a bunch of comments... <3
curioustomcat:
Do that set! 
Ok - I am signing up for some classes at CADS (Community Alcohol and Drug Services). I relapsed again. Pointless to say anymore really, it's all been said before, all the bullshit that's come out of my mouth about sobriety when every time I just fall right back in. There's not really anything else in my life.
So i'll write when i've been to a...
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So i'll write when i've been to a...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
pedronz:
Sounds like a class that I could benefit from... I like to drink, but my limits are all out of step
I wish I had more control over what I ingest... and the amount of time it takes me to ingest (which I think is the main problem!)
We sound like we have something in common here.
I wish I had more control over what I ingest... and the amount of time it takes me to ingest (which I think is the main problem!)
We sound like we have something in common here.
ladymayhem:
It's quite easy to set up guidelines about drinking, but usually you don't actually want to follow them, you want to get fucked up. If you only allow yourself a drink every half hour and then water inbetween... I've done it a couple of times, once in Ponsonby on a Friday night and it was easy enough - the only problem was that I couldn't seem to communicate with anyone because they were smashed. And I wasn't. I wish I knew of more social events which included other things than drinking... I can never find drunk people who can also have rational conversations. Perhaps that's an oxymoron. I don't know, maybe we should discuss this dillemma over several beers, haha.
I'm still going strong and LORD do I feel better. Much happier, less brain fog.. Of course the ten days in Raro I didn't have much chance to be tempted but it's been... 3 and a half weeks? Not that long but considering I was having something every week basically all of last year it's not too bad. Gonna keep on keep on keeping on...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tlm_:
Umm, yes ... please.
sbmick:
Looking great still babe 
Been clean for a week and a half - not that long but i've made a pretty adamant decision that I don't plan on going back on. If I did the guilt I would feel would not be worth it and I know that. SO... New Year and it's going to be a sober one. Well, little bit of alcohol and perhaps weed but that'll...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
redrufus4u:
Good luck with clean slate! Three years here. Best three years of my life!
knives2meatyou:
Hello. I have had an interest in Rarotonga for awhile - looking forward to seeing your pictures! I hope you're doing well and staying clean (or as clean as works best for you). Very nice to meet you. I have developed somewhat of a fixation on NZ lately and have been thinking about Wellington. Perhaps you can give me your point of view on what the city is like and what are your favorite places in NZ. Thanks!
Just took an e out of sheer boredom, let's see what happens. I've lost five kilos in three weeks from taking this betahistine stuff, if anyone has weight issues I seriously suggest they try it. If i can get down to my goal weight my life will be pretty good - i've got some awesome friends, it's just coming into summer which means days at...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
lightandshade:
Mandy, I'd worship you ANYDAY
ladymayhem:
<3
Going to attempt to do the longest blog in history.
So let's get started...
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SEXUAL FIDELITY.
Shit gets boring after two years, theres only so many different ways to explore one person, you want other people its natural. Doesnt mean you dont love the person. That you havent cherished every moment of being with them and that the anticipation of...
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So let's get started...
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SEXUAL FIDELITY.
Shit gets boring after two years, theres only so many different ways to explore one person, you want other people its natural. Doesnt mean you dont love the person. That you havent cherished every moment of being with them and that the anticipation of...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
hodssorrow:
I have never been in a relationship long enough for it to come up but I have been on the other side as the person someone took the time away for and I admit that I was jealous of her partner. I think all you can really do is accept that you are going to be jealous and it makes it a little easier to deal with. If we didn't have those feelings it would probably mean we didn't really care about the person anyway.
floyd:
yeah weed!
Doing better.
Lonely though, wondering if i'll ever actually meet someone I get along with ever again. Guys that i've met lately don't seem to understand me at all - literally - the words I use aren't within their vocabulary. Certainly do not appreciate dry humour or talking about anything of interest - in my eyes at least. Fuck it I give UP!
I used...
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Lonely though, wondering if i'll ever actually meet someone I get along with ever again. Guys that i've met lately don't seem to understand me at all - literally - the words I use aren't within their vocabulary. Certainly do not appreciate dry humour or talking about anything of interest - in my eyes at least. Fuck it I give UP!
I used...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
sbmick:
I'd love the dry humor, vocabulary and intelligence.
Too a degree you would struggle to comprehend
Too a degree you would struggle to comprehend
charbo:
aww 
*cuddle*
*cuddle*Is it sad that I simply offer sex freely to guys now because i've completely given up on anyone liking my personality and wanting to date me, and i still need the pretence of having a man in my life? The sex is good but it doesn't mean I don't want more. It's just the sex is all I can get. That's the only thing...
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nickstone:
Oh i hear you so well. I even dont offer sex anymore... No love, no sex...
milkofamnesia:
Don't sell yourself short, Miranda! You're beautiful!
She hadda walk with a silicone cock
Sticking in her ass, and one in her C U N T
A butterfly strapped tight to her clit
But who's got the remote control?
That would belong to LOUUI-EEESE
She's got a new pet, a real vaginal tease
Mommy's little girl is gonna do as she please
If she don't wanna get a spanking
She likes to...
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Sticking in her ass, and one in her C U N T
A butterfly strapped tight to her clit
But who's got the remote control?
That would belong to LOUUI-EEESE
She's got a new pet, a real vaginal tease
Mommy's little girl is gonna do as she please
If she don't wanna get a spanking
She likes to...
Read More
djlarose:
haha I love that song 
ladymayhem:
Anyone ever done a Louise set? If not I think I might have to for the sake of art. Ha.
Ok.
New and happier blog. Although i've relapsed with my M.E, and if you read my blog i really would appreciate you looking it up, it's hard having an invisible disease which has taken your hopes and dreams and having no one understand. Anyway, despite that I believe i've made some in roads into what i hope will be the start of not a new...
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New and happier blog. Although i've relapsed with my M.E, and if you read my blog i really would appreciate you looking it up, it's hard having an invisible disease which has taken your hopes and dreams and having no one understand. Anyway, despite that I believe i've made some in roads into what i hope will be the start of not a new...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
english_dave:
Get an IPAD!
floyd:
Glad you are finding joy in the little things in life again. I hope things keep getting better for you!