I often wonder what its like to have a home. To have aplace thats your very own, calling to you blood and bone. Where you can exile yourself from, but never stay away from for long. To be able to walk down the street and understand the people you see around you, or just pause and know by the shift in the air which weather...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
My boss beat someone up this week. The walls were shaking, the desk is broken, and the mirror was flapping against the outer wall, and I can only imagine he was pounding the man's head into it. N rushed in and tried to stop them, calm them down, which I was happy for since I wasnt going near the fiasco. For one the space is...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
burning_bellhop:
Wow ! That's climactic enough to be sure. It's too bad it had to come to that , but people don't get what they deserve enough. I beat the snot out of someone who owed me a good bit of money once. He was a "friend" as well. Slick, manipulative, unappreciative, all that. Thanks for being a piece of crap. Money can be a terrible thing. Besides everyone is crazy in their own way. It's all a matter of perspective.
burning_bellhop:
Wow you just changed your photo. Like the new one.... Sensual....
You're building a Wall
of confusion and lies
Nobody can hear your silent cries
But when you sleep
You dream of me
And I kiss you in your Dreams
Soul of Ice
BlutEngel
I dont know why I'm always drawn to lyrics like these. They haunt me, calling to some secret piece of me, and have since I can remember. They draw me, seducing me...
Read More
of confusion and lies
Nobody can hear your silent cries
But when you sleep
You dream of me
And I kiss you in your Dreams
Soul of Ice
BlutEngel
I dont know why I'm always drawn to lyrics like these. They haunt me, calling to some secret piece of me, and have since I can remember. They draw me, seducing me...
Read More
kingskottie:
girl.. i feel ya
burning_bellhop:
Hmm, The soul mate. I am still searching for that person myself. The thought, the idea of that person exists. Is it only a pre-conceived notion I wonder ? The thought of perfection . I guess not. You may meet the person, but do you know for sure right away , or does it involve time ? Things aren't the same for everyone...
I was going through some of the older posts on my original journal and came across this one. Its an old story, a scenario for someone I once loved. That person is gone now, but I still like this idea, and the idea of doing it someday for some special somebody.
Ah, the privlages of being poly and open. *G*
Wrapped in Silken Bonds
I...
Read More
Ah, the privlages of being poly and open. *G*
Wrapped in Silken Bonds
I...
Read More
zebbie:
Wow, you always leave the most incredible journal posts.. .. Wow!!
You will make a man very happy someday
You will make a man very happy someday
burning_bellhop:
The sensuality, the eroticisim watching sounds like so much fun sometimes.
You know what I hate? Asshats who honestly believe that guilt tripping a client is the best way to get money out of their pockets.
"Box Q, How can I help you?"
"Hi, this is Jeffrey with the Tsunami Relief Fund, and I'd like to speak to someone about...."
In a brit accent, no less.
Now, I'm all for helping the people over in Asia,...
Read More
"Box Q, How can I help you?"
"Hi, this is Jeffrey with the Tsunami Relief Fund, and I'd like to speak to someone about...."
In a brit accent, no less.
Now, I'm all for helping the people over in Asia,...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
buzzhum:
wow 
kingskottie:
damn brits!!!
heh.
sounds like a scam.
heh.
sounds like a scam.
So on the night of the new year I dream of Him again. I'm really racking up the body count on these dreams. I have passionately loved and hated people before, but never with these results. I am past the point of sorrow, of irritation, of testiness at myself over the phenomena anymore. If anything I feel kind of...numb. In my defense, I didnt set...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
bcguitar33:
Unfortunately for reasons detailed in my own profile I only have time to skim over your journal entry, but I'm thinking of you.
oryon:
that's a lot of words
but oh so deep
i wish i had deepness like that
but oh so deep
i wish i had deepness like that
Woo-hoo!! Fire fetish demonstration tonight!!
Lets get our kink on!
Lets get our kink on!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
dave_the_robot:
Hmm... that merry go round does look kind of conspicuous, and I think you just gave me a fantastic idea! 
Honestly though, ever actually try to use that thing? It's just about the saddest thing a person can do.
Honestly though, ever actually try to use that thing? It's just about the saddest thing a person can do.
zebbie:
Fire is kewl.
*sigh*
I dont know what to do. I have a something-more-than-a-crush on someone I shouldnt, and its not going away. I just recently realized exactly how serious it is, and could become. I over react to everything because of it. I dont want to lose the boy, but I know he doesnt want that feeling from me, and I dont want to be miserable and...
Read More
I dont know what to do. I have a something-more-than-a-crush on someone I shouldnt, and its not going away. I just recently realized exactly how serious it is, and could become. I over react to everything because of it. I dont want to lose the boy, but I know he doesnt want that feeling from me, and I dont want to be miserable and...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kingskottie:
i used to live there. i work there occasionally. live in nashville now.
are you in the city?
are you in the city?
lost_child1979:
It's always worse being the one in love and not the one who recieves the love. When I fall, I want to put who I'm with on a pedastool, I want to fall madly in love, I want to nurture and protect her, and be with her. I want to hear her breath. I expect her to be my muse in return, smirks. I want that above all.
L Child
L Child
The question has been in my head a lot, why I dont write anymore. Once, to me, writing was like breathing. It was life. I didnt write because I necessicarily liked too, but because I was compelled too. Anyone who has kept up with this prolific journal for any amount of time can certainly see where that might be true. And, again, dont get me...
Read More
Read More
bcguitar33:
"I learned only later that this also wasnt true, that if anything had ever been felt, it was likely all on my side alone, that anything done towards me had been at best a very light affection--maybe like the kind you'd give a dog--and at absolute worst out of a sense of pity, but that was it. "
If you felt love, you loved. No matter what he felt for you or what deceit it was based upon, you felt that love and it is yours. You own it and nothing he can say or do can cheapen or change it. Your love is yours alone, which is why it enriches you even if it is based upon an illusion.
To steal a quote from the film Adaptation:
Charlie: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie: I know. And you were flirting with her. ANd she was really sweet to you.
Donald: I remember that.
Charlie: Then when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. It was like they were laughing at me. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie: How come you looked so happy?
Donald: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie: She thought you were pathetic.
Donald: That was her business, not mind. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
Perhaps Donald's perspective is a little far-fetched, but I still think it has some bearing on your situation; no matter what you learned later about this fellow, it can't change the importance of what you felt.
If you felt love, you loved. No matter what he felt for you or what deceit it was based upon, you felt that love and it is yours. You own it and nothing he can say or do can cheapen or change it. Your love is yours alone, which is why it enriches you even if it is based upon an illusion.
To steal a quote from the film Adaptation:
Charlie: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie: I know. And you were flirting with her. ANd she was really sweet to you.
Donald: I remember that.
Charlie: Then when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. It was like they were laughing at me. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie: How come you looked so happy?
Donald: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie: She thought you were pathetic.
Donald: That was her business, not mind. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
Perhaps Donald's perspective is a little far-fetched, but I still think it has some bearing on your situation; no matter what you learned later about this fellow, it can't change the importance of what you felt.
Every time I come up here, I find myself inevitably drawn in. Despite the laughter, the companionship, the quiet beauty of the area, the comfort of being at home, there are ghosts here that haunt me. Every drive becomes a host of old sights and feelings, memories plucking me with tendril-like fingers, wrapping themselves around my soul. Its like dying in slow motion as they...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
destro:
happy birthday.
clydeftones:
happy Birthday
*evil chuckle*
My horror-scope has turned fun again. Last week I was told I'd be receiving gems this month, but that I wouldnt fathom their full value for possibly months to come. This week I am told to PARTY!!! Party hard, party insane, party like tomorrow will never come!!
Or more specifically:
The cosmos is finally ready to discharge you from your heavy, dark assignments....
Read More
My horror-scope has turned fun again. Last week I was told I'd be receiving gems this month, but that I wouldnt fathom their full value for possibly months to come. This week I am told to PARTY!!! Party hard, party insane, party like tomorrow will never come!!
Or more specifically:
The cosmos is finally ready to discharge you from your heavy, dark assignments....
Read More
Oh holy fuckin gods.
*slams head into wall repeatedly*
So I bring my new roomie by the house, and, of course she loves it. The backyard alone is pure unadulterated yummification. You could hold festivals back there. And thats likely what will happen.
She needs the address to the place so she and her bf can take care of utilities and me being the scavenger...
Read More
*slams head into wall repeatedly*
So I bring my new roomie by the house, and, of course she loves it. The backyard alone is pure unadulterated yummification. You could hold festivals back there. And thats likely what will happen.
She needs the address to the place so she and her bf can take care of utilities and me being the scavenger...
Read More
Enjoy your search
[Edited on Jan 26, 2005 3:19PM]