lorin: you know what i dont get? why i dont have a tuna sandwich
lorin: or a blat
lorin: also, i was thinking about it
lorin: i'm really glad i have hands
lorin: do you know how much stuff you couldn't do if you didn't have hands?
lorin: i wish i was laying in a field right now
lorin: with a horse
lorin: no
lorin:... Read More
Giving someone "the finger" is one of the basest violations in modern culture, but its origins date back over 2500 years. The first written record of the insult occurred in ancient Greece, where the playwright Aristophanes (the Adam Sandler of his day) made a crude joke mixing up the middle finger and the penis. Even back then, the bird was considered an aggressive, phallic put-down.
+ Cops are dicks, court sucks, summons are bullshit, and I should be able to pee where ever the fuck I want. Fuck you, New DORK.
+ Being broke sucks. Someone get me a job. I want to be a dog walker. It just makes sense, being outside rulz right now. I have an interview tomorrow to be a dog walker. So much more fun... Read More
The other day I was walking to the subway and some dude in a third story apartment was shouting down to some kids about a whole lot of nothing, and then he goes, "Hey, want to see where a fart comes from?" and he pulled down his pants, pushed his ass through the window and farted.