friedhamster

you know this never goes well!

Hahaha! And when we wake up, assuming your tiny underdeveloped-child-boy's-ass doesn't make you die from rectal trauma, we'll listen to Elton John, make strawberry pancakes and watch Richard Simmons.

no i quit the screen to be blue collar. IM a wire monkey now i go into buisnesses late at night and drag cat 5 cables through their walls ceilings and under their floors for a shitload of cash and i don't have to work weekends. Also my boss picks me up at home for like 85% of the jobs i go on so i save a shitload on gas and i get free food drinks and whatever i can steal. it fucking rules.

Awww...

How'd it go my man?

Any luck?

That's the single most responsible, mature, and intelligent way to go about things.

Congratulations buddy. You've officially reached the point in breakups that too many fucking people never get to. Very few people are where you are, mentally, right now.

Next step: Happiness.

But that comes with time.

You'll be fine my man. I know you will.

Just remember to smile, whatever the world gives ya.



Take care brotherman.

usually a coin toss on that one. There was one moment in my life though, that I have to say where I didn't do the right thing but I was trying to act in the best interest of myself and everybody else, and I didn't realize until later on that I should have gone with my gut, but it's too late now. I think fear is very powerful emotion, it can govern your life and rule you sometimes.

meh......
right.........wrong.......
Right= Maximised Fun
Wrong= erm.....Un-Maximised fun ?......Non-Maximised Fun ?
ggrrrraaaarrrr.

I doubt it, I'm on the other side of the country

Buddy...

Here's what you thinking human lifeforms have all wrong. You over-fucking-think things.

If you can't get over her, then you get back to her and you fucking be with her.

If she won't have you back, cut out your heart and bleed it all over her. Make sure she knows how you feel, how you've always felt, and how you'll always feel. Make sure she hears every last damn word that you have to say, and then fuck off. If she wants you back, you guys will get back together and overcome and obstacle, blah blah blah. If she doesn't want you back, then you did the best any man could. You let her know what you want and what you need and what you feel, and if she is not into it, then at least you made an effort, aye?

Nothings worse than not trying. Nothing.

Now get the fuck out there and tell her how you fucking feel.

Otherwise, you'll never know. And that's a LOT scarier of a fate then trying and being rejected.

Because... What if?

What if?

Go.

You know what you gotta do.

I'm sorry hamster, I didn't see your questions. I mean it's just that I had a lot of shit happen to me and there were different ppl I trusted that I shouldn't have. I thought that people would have watched my back when they didn't. I mean, it's my fault because I put my faith in ppl. I can see going though this kind of bullshit when you're 18 or 20, but god...I was still going through this bullshit this year and I'm 36. A month after the September 11 thing (sorry for using it as a point of reference) five years ago I got bludgeoned with a shutgun during an attempted robbery while I was deliveing a pizza. A lot of things happened, I suffered a traumatic brian injury from it. I have had a lot lot of complications becuase of it, and one of those things was that I lost a lot of friends over it. I was just about to go back to college to finish my bachelor's in mechanical engineering. I was living in Dallas ATT, Garland, to be more specific, and for the next two years straiight all I did was see doctors. I went to neurocognitive rehabilitation therapy for six months straight. I heard a lot of stories about people who had lost friends and the like over a TBI. I didn't live in Dallas that long, and I didn't know very many people, and one thing led to another because of roomate situation, I ended up in Ventura, of all places, because it was a friend of a friend sort of thing, lol I ended sleeping/hanging out on the beach for six months (and tbh, that was the most relaxing, enjoyable thing I had done in a LONG time). Then, last year I helped my dad move down here to Abluquerque from Colorado, and he was cool with letting me move in with him. I had already gotten back on my feet in Colorado, I had an apartment and a car and so it was because I wanted to be around family that I decided to move in with him. He didn't really talk about it with my stepmother, and we had problems b/c of it, and I ended up getting the boot. I think they were being unreasonable for the most part, because even though I try and not let it show, I'm dealing with a lot of things. And I really copped and attitude with them because I think they were being unfair. Physically and emotionally it all came to a head with me and I couldn't deal deal with all the bullshit. I've stayed in shelters, and they are the worst. I would rather sleep on the beach or pitch a tent by a river bank than stay in a shelter, and that's exactly what I did. See, the thing is that I am still recouperating from the TBI I sustained and am even still on medication for it (not narcotics, mind you). My support system fell through in Dallas but I think that's because people some didn't try hard enough to help meet my needs, and I don't think that my demands were too unreasonable. For one thing, I need to rest a lot because my body physically demads this of me, it's not that I'm being lazy. In fact, it was so bad (and still is) that I had the money the whole time I was sleeping in a tent but I just couldn't...deal. As the summer moved in, I finally started mustering the strength to go apartment hunting...finally..after looking for about a week found a place. Anyway, I mean, there are people and programs that can help but the thing is that these programs fell through when I needed them the most. I dotted all the lines and crossed all the t's like I was supposed to but on the other end people didn't do what they said would said they would do and didn't act like they said they would...act. I mean, like I applied for housing support here in Albquerque but the day I went to turn my application in they said they weren't taking any more applications for the next six months. One thing I have learned from all of this is that ppl will fuck you over just as well as be your friend, and it's funny how you can never tell what side of their cheek they have turned. I have never really been this way, I don't like being mean or screwing someone over unless I really think they have it coming. Anyway, if you wanna see pics of me in the ambulance, look in my folder.

yup.word.
But c'mon...we all know there aint nothing new....nothing original anymore...le sigh...
and they are all spread out....but on SG its like a communal punk town on the net!!heh...
there arent too many...er...colorful peeps in the town i live in....so its fukkn cool to be able to go somewhere...look at hot grrrls...and meet others of my breed out there....
...gets kinda lonely....

Regret that tattoo yet?

umm....sorry... i didn't think you would mind.....having a friend.....but ya know..... i'm not always right..... ( although i seriously think i am)....

How's it going?

So what's life like these days?

What's up, what's new?

you know how in you last journal, you said that you bring it upon yourself?

you do.

I heart hamsters.

the OTHER #8....
can you please explain to me, exactly, what love is?


#1...
are you serious? you've been here for like 3 months, lol, how you know what it was like when there were less SGs and less sets per day?

#3...
like all the thought you put into getting yout SG Logo tattoo... after being a member for 4 days?

#5. dude, your cry so much and so often, you make Emo kids want to LIVE. that's bad.


#4...
actually...
I TOTALLY AGREE!

I was a (silent) member way back in the day, and #1 is very true... but at least you're getting more boobies for your buck, right?

I've never had a best friend that wasn't also a lover. I find it impossible that anyone can care that much about me unless I'm putting out.

in response to your comment on my page...i'm not doing so well myself. take care of yourself. in addition to your entries listed above, can i add a #7 and a #8?

#7. no one is ever really alone, although it can seem that way.
#8. it is hard to remember #7.

(i hope i am no way invasive.)
i wish you more heaven than hell.

No more emo-ness...