"You don't need a license to drive a sandwich"
Fucking bank holidays meant the library (along with every bastard other place I wanted to go) was shut. Pah hah kiss my thumb.
I've just finished day two of the new job. It's officially the most dismal job I've ever done so I'll be very very happy to fuck it off in a few months and...
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Fucking bank holidays meant the library (along with every bastard other place I wanted to go) was shut. Pah hah kiss my thumb.
I've just finished day two of the new job. It's officially the most dismal job I've ever done so I'll be very very happy to fuck it off in a few months and...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
"He got the lab assistant pregnant and he never sees the kid"
Weeeeee I'm back with much gratitude to the wonderful person who saved me from my grey lonely non SG hell ... you know who you are
I have three words for you; REDUCED SUGAR FROSTIES. What a wonderful world we live in. MY house is very much now contained within an array...
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Weeeeee I'm back with much gratitude to the wonderful person who saved me from my grey lonely non SG hell ... you know who you are
I have three words for you; REDUCED SUGAR FROSTIES. What a wonderful world we live in. MY house is very much now contained within an array...
Read More
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
tripster:
Hello. Big Momma 
Died falling off a roof.That man was comedy through to the bone.Even his way of death made people smile.
Laters.
Died falling off a roof.That man was comedy through to the bone.Even his way of death made people smile.
Laters.
agata:
ahhh, rod hull...
*sigh*
*sigh*
"My wife was like all women ... strange and evil"
Mwahaha another day of SG, I sense I may get too cocky and cry when it all goes wrong!
It's sunny again yay! Being unable to find my prescription sunglasses and being too lazy to sort out my contacts I keep inevitably ending up wandering around town half blind in huge shades. If I walk...
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Mwahaha another day of SG, I sense I may get too cocky and cry when it all goes wrong!
It's sunny again yay! Being unable to find my prescription sunglasses and being too lazy to sort out my contacts I keep inevitably ending up wandering around town half blind in huge shades. If I walk...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
lauralily:
Haha yes the police are a laughing stock and since you mention I do recall seeing a lot of newspaper coverage about how dangerous Nottingham has become, but then I who am I to judge? I'm from the same town as Basil Fawlty!
ziggy70:
sometimes the law is an arse!
If you did help and maybe .. just maybe punched one of the attackers in the face... thats you up for ABH
And you would be amazed at how many baddies are caught with a quick drive around the local scum spot!
camera phones is a good one as well! take some pics of the scum and let the police see.. possibly be able to identify the assailants
I dont think its just Nottingham which is a bit rough.. i grew up and lived in a small town called yeovil in Somerset! lots of violence.. kiddies not being able to hold their drink or drugs! rough as a badgers arse! I now live near Bath! Nice place .. not much trouble!
If you did help and maybe .. just maybe punched one of the attackers in the face... thats you up for ABH
And you would be amazed at how many baddies are caught with a quick drive around the local scum spot!
camera phones is a good one as well! take some pics of the scum and let the police see.. possibly be able to identify the assailants
I dont think its just Nottingham which is a bit rough.. i grew up and lived in a small town called yeovil in Somerset! lots of violence.. kiddies not being able to hold their drink or drugs! rough as a badgers arse! I now live near Bath! Nice place .. not much trouble!
"What the fuck ... but in a good way"
Oh how I've missed you ...
Having avoided t'internet for a week for fear of depressing myself over lack of SG I dare to log on today and aha ... I'm still here. I can assure you that SG will give up on trying to process my payment soon and boot me out.
The top five...
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Oh how I've missed you ...
Having avoided t'internet for a week for fear of depressing myself over lack of SG I dare to log on today and aha ... I'm still here. I can assure you that SG will give up on trying to process my payment soon and boot me out.
The top five...
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VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
marky:
the clerks cartoon is on tv????
well i own it on dvd, it is funny...
as for clicking the spoilers... it won't mean anything to you, as you have no idea what is going on in season 5... and season 4 for that matter..
well i own it on dvd, it is funny...
as for clicking the spoilers... it won't mean anything to you, as you have no idea what is going on in season 5... and season 4 for that matter..
"My name is Harold J Sexually Frustrated Puppet Fucker"
Oh yes The Mighty Boosh was genius. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much, and by the time it ended my hands were red from far too much applauding everytime favourite characters/lines appeared. Fookin excellent.
I also got the date for my first scan yesterday and got offered a job starting mid April...
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Oh yes The Mighty Boosh was genius. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much, and by the time it ended my hands were red from far too much applauding everytime favourite characters/lines appeared. Fookin excellent.
I also got the date for my first scan yesterday and got offered a job starting mid April...
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VIEW 25 of 35 COMMENTS
jimsmallman:
Boosh rules.
"I love the chosen one, I love him with my body part".
"I love the chosen one, I love him with my body part".
theduke:
Good luck with everything! Hope to see you back soon!
"Isn't Pete Doherty the fattest junkie in the world? What does he cut it with? Utterly Butterly?"
You can say what you like about Jimmy Carr but that is one fucking funny comment.
So, it looks like I may have gotten the job I went for last week which is excellent news. It means I can celebrate by going out and buying Season 4 of...
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You can say what you like about Jimmy Carr but that is one fucking funny comment.
So, it looks like I may have gotten the job I went for last week which is excellent news. It means I can celebrate by going out and buying Season 4 of...
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VIEW 25 of 33 COMMENTS
harleen:
How was the Boosh? Congrats on the job!
Bitch slapping droids is always fun, Kenobi is a lame fucker. That game annoys me.
Yep, I'm slowly turning into a Myspace stalker. That'll teach her to go round shagging other girls husbands...
Bitch slapping droids is always fun, Kenobi is a lame fucker. That game annoys me.
Yep, I'm slowly turning into a Myspace stalker. That'll teach her to go round shagging other girls husbands...
celery:
Kenobi rocks, I'm talking serious man.
"To me religion seems like a bunch of people talking to their imaginary friend"
Oh how I love freeview .... Quincy, Peep Show and Moonlighting. It doesn't get much better.
The obvious added bonus is that if you watch the 'next episode' of such things as 'Desperate Housewives' straight after the one on channel 4 you only have to, realistically, watch TV every two weeks....
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Oh how I love freeview .... Quincy, Peep Show and Moonlighting. It doesn't get much better.
The obvious added bonus is that if you watch the 'next episode' of such things as 'Desperate Housewives' straight after the one on channel 4 you only have to, realistically, watch TV every two weeks....
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
mooj:
hahaha I saw Slipknot years ago, after eating a bag aof magic mushrooms and decided it would be a good idea to crowd surf in a mini skirt, I ended up bouncing off some guy's inflatable hat and getting trampled on...ah those were the days 
"well what do you want to do?...I don't know what do you want to do?...let's blow them all up!
might not be as long as two years...I can sense an ice cream van coming your way
would you like some some yoghurt? I made it fresh this morning...it's got grenola in it and everything!
"well what do you want to do?...I don't know what do you want to do?...let's blow them all up!
might not be as long as two years...I can sense an ice cream van coming your way
would you like some some yoghurt? I made it fresh this morning...it's got grenola in it and everything!
marky:
...
[Edited on Mar 14, 2006 5:49PM]
[Edited on Mar 14, 2006 5:49PM]
"Aagh! It hurts! It burns! You've liquified me, you slags!"
So far today I've had the midwife taking a sample of every bodily fluid she could legally extract and had a ride on the tram. Exciting times.
I spent the weekend with my father and my broody stepmum in the delightful Norfolk. They're neighbours with Trisha, Stephen Fry and Sue Lawley apparentely. I live next...
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So far today I've had the midwife taking a sample of every bodily fluid she could legally extract and had a ride on the tram. Exciting times.
I spent the weekend with my father and my broody stepmum in the delightful Norfolk. They're neighbours with Trisha, Stephen Fry and Sue Lawley apparentely. I live next...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
lauralily:
Hello you, I think you should take someone worthy of you to the might boosh because you said it all about 'the impregnator'.
In other news from me my friend Clair has also just found out she is pregnant - where has this sudden baby boom come from? I do not know, but everything happens in threes so who will be next...?
In other news from me my friend Clair has also just found out she is pregnant - where has this sudden baby boom come from? I do not know, but everything happens in threes so who will be next...?
foralways:
hehe... i know!
It's not fair. but they're nice to look at.
I'm trying to think of somebody who isn't all perfect who i still think is gorgeous, and i shall amend my entry.
It's not fair. but they're nice to look at.
I'm trying to think of somebody who isn't all perfect who i still think is gorgeous, and i shall amend my entry.
"I can find my own fucking job thank you"
The funniest line from the trailer for Season 4 of 24.
Where the fuck is the snow huh?
Top five annoying things from today mother fuckers
(1) Being turned down for a job due to being pregnant
Yes, technically this is illegal. I did however decide to be straight with them from the offset and see...
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The funniest line from the trailer for Season 4 of 24.
Where the fuck is the snow huh?
Top five annoying things from today mother fuckers
(1) Being turned down for a job due to being pregnant
Yes, technically this is illegal. I did however decide to be straight with them from the offset and see...
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VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
celery:
Some things change others stay the same. You are still trash talking all men except the divine Jack Bower. I cant criticize you on that, if all men women and children were like Bower the world would be full of love and moments of excitement and pain. I started watching 24 this season. It is my first, my favorite character is Aaron, I hope he screws the first lady. They are getting awfully silly.
ruby_slipups:
grr fuckin wankers!! that is totally illegal, the only thing in a bar that u cant do when ur pregnant is lift stuff and of course drink, grr and ur ex really sounds like a doll too, god u really are havin great luck aintcha??
"Paedophiles actually have more in common genetically with this crab than they do you and me"
So, I managed to miss the Leeds meet much to my disappointment. I did however get the chance to be interrogated by my dad about my life choices. Awesome. I did manage to win him round with my charm, and he's decided he'll buy me a cot so it's...
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So, I managed to miss the Leeds meet much to my disappointment. I did however get the chance to be interrogated by my dad about my life choices. Awesome. I did manage to win him round with my charm, and he's decided he'll buy me a cot so it's...
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
septembre:
You did have a pretty good excuse not to be at Leeds. We're doing pretty well on the voting system.
Last time I was in that library a kid smacked me round the head with a newspaper.
Last time I was in that library a kid smacked me round the head with a newspaper.
stewhimself:
I know a guy called Baugh which is pronounced Bauer...but alas he's married. If it doesn't work out I'll let you know!!
"Have you ever been Rohypnoled by a swan then woken up in Cancun?"
Mwahahaha ... after a teeny weeny bit of fraud I have access to the internet. Oh SG how I have missed you, and boy what a week to have gone without the net.
Top five unbelievable things that have happened in the last week;
(1) I finally got my set all sorted...
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Mwahahaha ... after a teeny weeny bit of fraud I have access to the internet. Oh SG how I have missed you, and boy what a week to have gone without the net.
Top five unbelievable things that have happened in the last week;
(1) I finally got my set all sorted...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
klair:
woah your up the duff! congratulations. i was over 3 months gone before i found out i was having jaden, mad isn't it?
don't worry, it's not all bad. apart from the crying screaming & general leeching, children can provide hours of entertainment. just this week i have taught erin to say:
"alright geezer"
"STOP! hammer time"
and my personal favourite:
"camel toe"
next week : "cunt"
....or maybe not
don't worry, it's not all bad. apart from the crying screaming & general leeching, children can provide hours of entertainment. just this week i have taught erin to say:
"alright geezer"
"STOP! hammer time"
and my personal favourite:
"camel toe"
next week : "cunt"
....or maybe not
matmenoney:
This Autumn Elysia will be wearing babies. The ultimate fashion accessory.
Was thinking of getting a Chihuahua, but you've trumped me dammit...
I'll need to adopt an orphanage or something to beat that...
Still, at least no hang-over the day after your birthday, so there's always that...
Plus, you can always punish the Ginger dude and make out the Kid is his... double the child support... sweet.
Anyway, it's clearly all a symptom of your recent internet-less life... Should have gone to BullDog 9.75 per month...
http://www.broadbandinternetuk.com/bulldog_broadband.htm
though i prefer this kind of bulldog...
http://members.tripod.com/~buddiesthrubullies/
if only for the tagline...
[Edited on Feb 24, 2006 12:08PM]
Was thinking of getting a Chihuahua, but you've trumped me dammit...
I'll need to adopt an orphanage or something to beat that...
Still, at least no hang-over the day after your birthday, so there's always that...
Plus, you can always punish the Ginger dude and make out the Kid is his... double the child support... sweet.
Anyway, it's clearly all a symptom of your recent internet-less life... Should have gone to BullDog 9.75 per month...
http://www.broadbandinternetuk.com/bulldog_broadband.htm
though i prefer this kind of bulldog...
http://members.tripod.com/~buddiesthrubullies/
if only for the tagline...
[Edited on Feb 24, 2006 12:08PM]
"This is how it's going to work ... you have to either fire me or get out of my chair"
That's not quite the quote but I'm fucked if I can remember it word for word.
Bad news kids; due to impending move and the joy of 12mth contracts I am now internet-less. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with my time...
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That's not quite the quote but I'm fucked if I can remember it word for word.
Bad news kids; due to impending move and the joy of 12mth contracts I am now internet-less. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with my time...
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VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
emma_treasure:
ohhhh you have only seen upto seaon 2!!!???!!?!?!?!?!??!?!? i am very drunk right now so you will have to ecxuse me, its harleen's fault (only kiddinkg, she was an innocent bystander) buuuuut, 24 is teh best tv program ever made and i am currenty watching season 5 onm a week by week basis along with the american cos i know someone who can do fantabulous things with comumpters. its killing me though, i'm use3d to the 12 ghours in one go method! seaosn 2 is amazine, i thing that and season 4 & 2 are the bests but they all rule cos they alllll have keifer sutehrland in them and jack bauer who i would so totyalty do!!!! i wonopt give any thing away that might ruin it for you cos that woudl be really mean but you really have to waicth all all 24 that you can get your hands on cos its awesome, and just so you know, i woudl laso settle for a threesome with bauer and lamedia
matmenoney:
Jack Bauer makes me feel impotent. Which is a shame as I could probably turn gay for the guy...
Season three has the greatest moment in television history... it's official. So get watching before it's ruined.
Also in TV land, a freakish turn of events has meant that Ian McShane is now a challenger to Mr Bauers coolest dude on the box title. I'm not kidding you Lovejoy himself has reinvented his amiable persona into the dirtiest cocksucker on HBO. The guy says cunt more times than a sex offender with tourettes. Whilst pissing in a bed pan. And all before breakfast.
My new god.
Happy birthday by the way.
[Edited on Feb 19, 2006 5:39AM]
Season three has the greatest moment in television history... it's official. So get watching before it's ruined.
Also in TV land, a freakish turn of events has meant that Ian McShane is now a challenger to Mr Bauers coolest dude on the box title. I'm not kidding you Lovejoy himself has reinvented his amiable persona into the dirtiest cocksucker on HBO. The guy says cunt more times than a sex offender with tourettes. Whilst pissing in a bed pan. And all before breakfast.
My new god.
Happy birthday by the way.
[Edited on Feb 19, 2006 5:39AM]
Karma obviously knows of my jealousy of your Robin "Hoodys", for today I went on Chav safari into Wetherspoons and, although the chavs were thin on the ground, saw a lovely couple getting heavy on the sofas. I would normally count this as entertainment enough, but fate had more for me that day. It was a scene akin to Indiana Jones swapping th bag of sand for the gold statue. But instead of Indiana it was an old man sat on a chair behind the couple. And clutched in one hand wasn't the statue, but what I presumed to be his cock and balls. And instead of simply replacing the statue with the sand, he was wanking it.
He even looked me in the eye briefly as he did it.
I felt blessed. Dirty, yes, but blessed none the less.
The impregnator gonna regret it some day, missing out on something so precious as his baby growing but at least the little ones going to have a gorgeous mummy who loves them heaps.
and best dressed, most definately...remmeber he'll be out of those clothes soon so be nice to me and you might get a little package