after 4 days i've got the rythm and routine of goign to school down pretty well. wake up at 6a shower eat have soem time with pants if he's up then off to class. so far nothing beyond my inabilty to understand simple computer instructions has been a problem.
spent this weekend in myrtle beach feeling kinda hazy and wrong without knowing why. maybe it...
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spent this weekend in myrtle beach feeling kinda hazy and wrong without knowing why. maybe it...
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ormunroe:
well...it seems I'll be climbing into your boat soon.
just today i recieved a reply from the letters i sent out to a girl i fucked over while in this institution a few years ago. pleasantly surprised to hear she feels the same way about the place hopefully manning a revolt will come up in conversation. oh yes i'm goign ot do my best to stay in touch with this one. she was so...
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darthlunchbox:
AHHH! We should become quite smoking partners! I'm so needing to quite again. I hope you're doing okay.
ormunroe:
I hope this finds you well...or as well as you can be considering your journal. 
I want to comment but I have no idea what to say about it.
Hopefully, I won't be turned away when I get back to Fay.
I want to comment but I have no idea what to say about it.
Hopefully, I won't be turned away when I get back to Fay.
goddamn goddamn
mother's day. yea for me sad for me. the relationship between my mother and i is nothing to celebrate still i feel the tingle of nostalgia and want to wish i love her. but i dont. wishes are fantasies and fantasies cant be real. if i had her the way i've wanted wouldnt it be just as bad anyway?
darthlunchbox:
That sucks about the whole saddened mother's day for you.
So, I'm Dave and if you ever want someone to talk to and stuff, hit me up in my journal. I'm in Fayetteville too, so I feel your pain about being located here.
So, I'm Dave and if you ever want someone to talk to and stuff, hit me up in my journal. I'm in Fayetteville too, so I feel your pain about being located here.
feel alittle fucking gross but i thin kthe ends justify the means.
i kinda dont have a past because it's all tied up with people i dont really know adn places i'm not really sure about and institutions which are the falsest form of reality. the last place i was this god awful boarding school/theraputic community (22months) i made alot of mistakes. the biggest being...
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i kinda dont have a past because it's all tied up with people i dont really know adn places i'm not really sure about and institutions which are the falsest form of reality. the last place i was this god awful boarding school/theraputic community (22months) i made alot of mistakes. the biggest being...
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waldo_____:
I think you're doing the right thing.
our counselor and i got into it again. my biggest reservation with goign ot him or anyone has been that they wont be openminded enough to the style of living my husband and i have. we're both recovering drug addicts, i have an extensive history, adn so on. and it turns out i was righ to be apprenhensive because this guy is a dick. not...
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ravenspedigree:
things will get better soon enough.
on good note: I'm still up to do those photos for you. whenever you're settled in and things are better for you then let me know. i'm sure we can figure out a time to do them. Just let me know
Take care
J
on good note: I'm still up to do those photos for you. whenever you're settled in and things are better for you then let me know. i'm sure we can figure out a time to do them. Just let me know
Take care
J
ormunroe:
You definitely need to find another counselor. How in the world is that man allowed to counsel others?
I think for many men in the military, they are already inclined to be more agressive personality-wise just becase of the nature of being a soldier and the training. Maybe your husband thought the macho-talk would impress you.
A baby is definitely the last thing we need to bring into this situation. I had a blood test done at the local clinic and it was negative but my cycle still isn't on so I'm hoping that maybe all the stress has just got my system screwed up.
The counselor we spoke to said that as long as the divorce was amicable that there wouldn't be any need for custody trials, etc. and I keep telling my husband that I would never try and keep his child from him...that'd I remain near him so that he could see her whenever he liked. He comes from a divorced home and only saw his father one weekend a month and feels that the same will happen with our baby. But I don't have any bad feelings about him (that his mother had about his father) nor are there any reasons he shouldn't see our baby as often as he likes. But I refuse to sign over my parental rights which I would have to in order for him to gain full custody.
When I was mad I asked him if we could seperate while he was in Iraq and allow me to possibly pursue a woman to see how I felt. Of course he blew up and said mean things. So I asked him what options did I have...what he wanted me to do about my feelings? He said no to a threesome, no to me being with a woman, and no to a seperation. I know it is selfish of me but how I feel isn't going to go away with counseling or time (its been years already), or wishing (no matter how hard). I just wish I could make him understand that.
We'll have to hang out when I get back to Fay.
I think for many men in the military, they are already inclined to be more agressive personality-wise just becase of the nature of being a soldier and the training. Maybe your husband thought the macho-talk would impress you.
A baby is definitely the last thing we need to bring into this situation. I had a blood test done at the local clinic and it was negative but my cycle still isn't on so I'm hoping that maybe all the stress has just got my system screwed up.
The counselor we spoke to said that as long as the divorce was amicable that there wouldn't be any need for custody trials, etc. and I keep telling my husband that I would never try and keep his child from him...that'd I remain near him so that he could see her whenever he liked. He comes from a divorced home and only saw his father one weekend a month and feels that the same will happen with our baby. But I don't have any bad feelings about him (that his mother had about his father) nor are there any reasons he shouldn't see our baby as often as he likes. But I refuse to sign over my parental rights which I would have to in order for him to gain full custody.
When I was mad I asked him if we could seperate while he was in Iraq and allow me to possibly pursue a woman to see how I felt. Of course he blew up and said mean things. So I asked him what options did I have...what he wanted me to do about my feelings? He said no to a threesome, no to me being with a woman, and no to a seperation. I know it is selfish of me but how I feel isn't going to go away with counseling or time (its been years already), or wishing (no matter how hard). I just wish I could make him understand that.
We'll have to hang out when I get back to Fay.
school's all bought and paid for even the books i doubt i'll open.
people lie.
i've been told since i started gettign everythign in order there was a grant waiting for me. free childcare, books, any other enrollemnt servoce, even a mileage reinbursment but come to find out there's a wating list for all the goodies i mentioned and because i havent had a job...
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ormunroe:
wow, i can't believe that. you'd think that going to someone about financial aid would make them realize you were kinda wanting some monetary assistance. what a load of bs. 
when i did my first set (rejected) hubbs kept the catalog of shots and i suggested he show them around, see how popel liked them in hopes i'd get some constructive critism. i have computer issues and cant resize to send them to the SG Hopefuls group. instead i get how fucked it is of me to be wanting the guys in hubbs group to...
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foreverking:
I agree! I too have nudes, nudes of both me and my wife together, but to me it's a beauty thing, not so much a porn thing. It sucks that I can't show them without fear of the perverts like you talk about seeing them too.. so I can't.
the new place is big and lonely. we dont have much furniture so it echo and with these chilly winds lately things have been amking those creepy sounds.
my imagination is somewhat overactive
there have been MONTHS where i thought i was being stalked inside another house (my moms) by a sallow faced asian or caucasian with some skin cancer. he would just be watching...
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my imagination is somewhat overactive
there have been MONTHS where i thought i was being stalked inside another house (my moms) by a sallow faced asian or caucasian with some skin cancer. he would just be watching...
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new house tomorrow so busy busy with phone calls and explaining things to tellers. sometimes i get so bored i wont let hte customer service peopel get off the line with me. there have been plenty of instances where i bought somethign from a telemarker only to call back adn say i ddidnt want it i'm just lonely. so sad
may is shapin gup to...
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may is shapin gup to...
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likeumwicked:
Thats kool
going to register for school today.
being home with Pants for the past 18 months has been great. never knew watching someone small learn to play adn then learn to tear through everythign would be such a heartwarming adn touching experience but it is. now though with him pretty used to daycare and only 5 years for me to complete a BA, always allot time...
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being home with Pants for the past 18 months has been great. never knew watching someone small learn to play adn then learn to tear through everythign would be such a heartwarming adn touching experience but it is. now though with him pretty used to daycare and only 5 years for me to complete a BA, always allot time...
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ormunroe:
Oh, good luck with school. Where are you going to go and what are you taking up?
I'm going to try and come back in time to register at FayState or UNC-FSU, whatever they are calling it now, for the fall. My mom goes there right now so I'll be going to college with my mom.
But, she's become more fun the older I get. Ha.
I'm going to try and come back in time to register at FayState or UNC-FSU, whatever they are calling it now, for the fall. My mom goes there right now so I'll be going to college with my mom.
But, she's become more fun the older I get. Ha.some people think that when another is asshole or a bitch (funny that the terms are gender orriented) that they must be a total asshole and total bitch. not true. i'm defiantely a bitch at times, i have a tendency to fight and argue my point across but i'm also the cuddliest bunny who just wants smiles and hugs, dewdrop kisses. and i know my...
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kaisa:
Too true. What really sucks is when whole groups of people think you're a bitch because you generally only talk to them in situations when you're under much stress. Like the school I teach at is HUGE, and my principal is a recluse, and the only time I see her is when I have a major problem and I'm NOT at my best. What she must think of me...I wonder.