1stxer

I wonder what was on this mules mind when I stepped out to take a photo. For certain there was nothing to indicate of being shy. Unlike some people that have a thing about having their picture taken, sometimes I have a thing about my photo; I suppose I might feel less than perfect for the moment, then too am I ever prepared for any moment as anything or everything can make a bad day suddenly a great day. At first i was going to put down a good day can become a bad day. Sort of like the glass, is the glass half empty or half full. So why the concern about how I may appear ... the mule has no choice in its appearance. Could it be my vanity ... could it be I may appear as less than John Doe .. my insecurity,we all have them ... I am afraid that if you knew this or that about me I would not be accepted. Have'nt we all been exposed to rejection and one time? I think that I have learned a behavior just spare the rejection and be the first to reject. I think what I feel and I feel what I think.




I think the art work is beautiful, exceptional and I desire the beautiful and exceptional. So do I covet that which is desired. Possible yet I have not payed for that which I desire. So my coveting runs shallow. My desire for fine art is much different than say a desire for a beautiful and exceptional woman. As an artist puts an image on canvas. I often paint a mental image of scenarios, that can run for a moment. It is these possibilties that I reject that in my search for that one beautiful and exceptional woman. I touch my left hand with my right hand and feel my touch ... in my mind I may see her touch but I do not feel. That is what is missing, to feel her touch, to smell her fragrance, to experience sadness and joy in a way that even a detailed painting cannot offer.