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  • MONDAY JUNE 23 2008 6:00 AM

I Am So Over This Buddhism Shit

So I’m sitting cross-legged in the meditation hall at the San Francisco Zen Center a couple days ago. Incense wafts through the air, bells are rung, ancient chants are intoned, and then profound silence descends. The assembled monks embark on their meditative journeys to the centers of their minds. All at once a thought bubbles up to the surface of my consciousness, like an arrow piercing the cold emptiness of the pre-dawn air.

I am soooo over this shit.

God how I fucking hate it. After 25 years of doing this stupid crap, stick a fork in me, I am done. When I was a youngster the mere idea of sitting in a temple with a group of dedicated monks all pursuing the sacred Dharma gave me an iron-hard boner you could have sliced pound cake with. How I longed for that serenity, that peace. How I fantasized of ascending to the heights of Supreme, Unsurpassed, Perfect Enlightenment. How I dreamed of the day I might be in the very spot I’m in right now, living the life of a wandering monk, flitting here and there from temple to temple absorbing the words of the wise and dispensing my own wisdom to those new to the Way, spending my days deepening my practice.

But god-dammit I’d rather be at Amoeba Records right now. It’s just up Haight Street. I could be there in 20 minutes. I think that new Om record must be out by now, the one they recorded live in Jerusalem. Maybe even that new Robyn Hitchcock boxed set. But noooooo. I not only signed up for this shit, I signed up to do a five-day long zazen intensive at the Berkeley Zen Center right afterwards, followed immediately by two weeks cloistered at Tassajara monastery deep in the mountains of Carmel Valley — where there are no record stores at all. Fuck. What in God’s name was I thinking?


One of the greatest things about Zen practice is that it’s incredibly portable. You don’t need anything special. You don’t need a temple or monastery. You don’t need to memorize any chants or read any books. You don’t need a congregation. Zen goes anywhere you go. You can do your sitting on a rolled up towel in your dorm room, which is how I started.

But human beings like to do things together. We’re social creatures. And so a monastic tradition also developed within Buddhism. A lotta folks think that if you’re not hip to the monastery thang you ain’t no Buddhist. They’re wrong. Shakyamuni himself did not come to his understanding as a member of any religious order, and there is a laundry list as long as your arm of other great teachers who either shunned monastic life, or came to monastic life after establishing the Way on their own, or who did a bit of the monastic stuff when it was necessary but largely stayed away from it. The non-monastic tradition in Buddhism is just as vital as the monastic one.

But the pull towards making Buddhism a social thing, and only a social thing, is strong. In America, we seem dead set on turning Buddhism into a string of socially agreed upon clichés and buzzwords.

A couple weeks ago or so I put a post up on my blog in which I moaned about some of the buzzwords and neo-traditions that have become au currant among American Buddhists these days. One was that dependable puppy dog of a word, “mindfulness.” Christ I hate that word. The word seems to indicate some vague state of thinking hard about what you’re doing. And I know we’re all taught that we should think about what we’re doing. But that’s not the Buddhist approach. Do what you’re doing. When thinking becomes a distraction, stop thinking and get back to doing. I’m also sick to death of hearing hipster Buddha dudes use the word “skillful” to describe things they like and “unskillful” to describe things they don’t. It’s a total misuse of the old Buddhist idea of upaya, or “skillful means,” by which ancient Buddhist teachers are said to have taught in unorthodox ways. These days it just means whatever’s under discussion didn’t rub the guy who called it “skillful” the wrong way. I’m also fed up with the concept of the “dharma talk,” which has come to mean something like, “guys in funny robes using buzzwords like ‘mindfulness’ and ‘skillful’ to lull people who think of themselves as ‘spiritually minded’ to sleep.” I’m tired of watching entire audiences nod out like opium addicts while smiling knowingly whenever a favorite word or phrase floats through the haze.

Whatever. Anyway, after I said this stuff a whole buncha folks got really mad about it. Fine. Be as mad as you want. I, myself, am not the least bit angry about this. I was just fed up with it and continue to be fed up with it.

Back when I was first in punk rock, the thing that irked me the most, and finally drove me out of punk rock altogether, was the fact that the philosophy we espoused was all about questioning things. And yet you were not allowed to question punk rock itself. It was great to question Reagan and nuclear proliferation and the cops and school. But if you started asking things like, why do we all have to wear leather jackets, or why can't we have vocal harmonies in some of the songs, or why can't I grow my hair long if I want, that was taboo.

American Buddhism as it stands today is pretty much the same way. Buddhism isn't that way. But the stuff that lotsa people call "Buddhism" is. It's a subtle distinction, I know. But an important one.

So when I started calling bullshit on the idea of mindfulness, and skillfulness and "Dharma talks," the reaction was almost identical to what used to happen when I'd go on stage at hardcore shows in the early '80s with long hair and bell-bottoms. You can't do that! We can challenge everything in the world, but don't you dare challenge us!

If Buddhism can’t be challenged it isn’t Buddhism anymore.

We're all looking for a place to settle. We want stability. We want something dependable. Buddhism is all about addressing that very issue. It aims for the ultimate stable resting place. But Buddhism takes things in a very different direction from our habitual way of dealing with our longing for stability. Religions and subculture movements like punk rock want to reduce things to formulas. Believe that Jesus Christ is the one true Son of God and you're all right. But the words "Jesus Christ is the one true Son of God" mean something absolutely different to each individual who uses them. Words such as “mindfulness” and the like take on all kinds of different meanings when they reach the mass culture. And when they stop meaning anything useful it’s time to retire them.

This is hard for lots of folks to get a grip on. They want Buddhism to be like a bumper sticker, “Buddha said it, I believe it and that settles it.” But that’s not the Buddhist way.

At any rate I’m totally over all that stuff big time. And yet, by the time you read this I’ll be finishing up one retreat and heading off to another — being all “mindful” and listening to skillfully delivered Dharma talks.

Sometimes even when you’re over stuff you still gotta do it anyway. Sometimes you gotta do it especially when you’re over it.

Brad Warner is the author of Hardcore Zen and Sit Down and Shut Up!. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff and a MySpace page too. If you're in Southern California and you want to try some Zazen for yourself, he has a group that meets every Saturday in Santa Monica.

The new CD by Zero Defex, with Brad on bass, is available now from CD Baby. Get yours today!



 

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Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

JUN 23, 2008 06:14 AM

Mindfulness is just one word of many that points to a greater reality. We can describe it as attention, or we can describe in a negative way such as to say "A state without obscuration from mental distractions." If someone uses the word improperly it falls on Buddhists to help clear their misunderstanding as we see it, without aggression, so that they may better understand the world and find peace in it.

If I'm not mistaken, didn't Mahayana Buddhism spring from the idea of giving Buddhism back to the people, of practicing for the sake of everyone? I think this is the greatest concept we can take away from the school of thought as I know it, and it seems to be a very good way to speak to your concern that Buddhism needs to be social in order to have new life breathed into for both current practitioners and those yet to come to the path.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate seeing a strong Buddhist voice in the news sections of this site. It provides me with much comfort to know that Buddhism has a presence here.

nick07

nick07

I'm lost
February 2007

JUN 23, 2008 06:47 AM

great article - all established things need to be challenged, just as punk cleared the way for new musical thinking - interesting to note that shakyamuni buddha said that his teachings would be unrecognisable within 500 yrs of his death, so he was well aware of the deadening effect of doctrine - he also said don't accept anything b/c i say it, only if you verify it for yrself - i like dharma talks but try and keep in mind suzuki-roshi's warning that they are just encouragement to practice, they are not practice - suzuki-roshi is such a hero of mine - such down to earth ordinary language and good humour in zen mind beginners mind and not always so - he very much emphasised that we much each find our own way - there is no way which can be 'guarded' by the establishment really

cpkz

cpkz

Portland, OR
September 2006

JUN 23, 2008 08:44 AM

Eh,
Thats the way I feel about most 'thinkings' that are supposed to really make you question the world and life. It starts out great, lots of great unique thinking that really opens doors and makes you question your reality.
And then eventually you wake up one day and realize its just another fad. You're in the same robes, or leather jacket, or wearing the same black make-up, as every fucktard around you, and you haven't actually come up with an original thought for the last year. You haven't come upon any enlightenment, just wasted a few extra bucks on some new clothes.

Dr_Lizardo

Dr_Lizardo

Indian Orchard, MA
February 2006

JUN 23, 2008 08:55 AM

Nantenbo had, I think, similar negative opinions about the prevalence of hollowness and Cliche in Buddhism in Japan a hundred years ago. He took up the Keisaku in protest.

ZenTrixter

ZenTrixter

Portland, OR
October 2002

JUN 23, 2008 10:32 AM

Brad Warner said:

Sometimes even when you're over stuff you still gotta do it anyway.

Sometimes you gotta do it especially when you're over it.


Werd...

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

JUN 23, 2008 11:39 AM

Well, isn't it supposed to be the case that once you've crossed over to the other shore, you're supposed to be unattached to everything, including the raft that got you there?

mellon

mellon

Brattleboro, VT
October 2004

JUN 23, 2008 02:23 PM

That's how I always feel at the beginning of a retreat. The mind wants to be anywhere but in a place where the only thing it has to look at is itself. You have to push through it, and actually do the retreat. If you do, somewhere around day three or four your mind won't be in the record store anymore.

Maybe you should do solitary retreats instead of group retreats, though. Sometimes having all those people around can be a brutal distraction.

On the whole Dharma talk/mindfulness/skillful thing, word. The idea of calling something skillful or not skillful is stupid (that is, not skillful) anyway - you're putting a judgment on a thing for which you have no basis to judge.

mellon

mellon

Brattleboro, VT
October 2004

JUN 23, 2008 05:53 PM

BTW, Nolan, Mahayana Buddhism isn't about bringing Buddhism to the people. Mayahana Buddhism is about using the people as the vehicle to reach enlightenment, instead of just using yourself.

That is, rather than just taking responsibility for your own escape from suffering (reaching Nirvana), you also take responsibility for everyone else's escape from suffering.

The reason for doing this is twofold: first, if you do not, they will never escape suffering (for reasons too crazy to explain here) and second, when you do your practice with every living being as its beneficiary, this amps up the karmic power of your practice by a huge (they say immeasurable) factor. So you get the result more quickly, and it's of more benefit.

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

JUN 23, 2008 06:23 PM

Seems I remember reading that people were beginning to view Buddhism as for the monks, since it seemed that they were practicing only for themselves. Thus the concept of the Bodhisattva who practices for the benefit of everyone developed.

The other stuff sounds to self-centered, like a karma contest or something, which seems kind of contrary to the whole "no-self" thing that is pretty much at the base of Buddhist doctrine. Also, isn't it sort of pointless to take responsibility for other people's suffering?

Didn't the Buddha teach that his finger only points the way, and that we have to take the responsibility to walk the path for ourselves?

mrnonel

mrnonel

Los Angeles, CA
August 2004

JUN 23, 2008 07:00 PM

Wake up! Northern California is on fire! That will get the socialites to get up and run.

arainwen

arainwen

Richmond, VA
February 2007

JUN 23, 2008 07:31 PM

I was gonna leave a comment but there is no "I" so I decided not to.

Ok, that was a dumb opening but I really don't give a shit.

I grew up in a Buddhist household but I was never taught anything about it until much later. I went through a number of pagan religions including Wicca and eventually came to a point where i wanted to know more about Buddhism. I have talked with my father about it quite a bit and though I have taken refuge I have spent very little time in any group practice. Even though I have taken refuge I practice some Buddhism, but there are many other things that are a part of my spirituality as well and I prefer to practice my spirituality in solitude. Buddhism seems to fit the way I want to think the best, but the only thing I can put a finger on and say this is something important I have learned from Buddhism is to try to love everyone and show kindness, regardless of their actions.

In the end though the bullshit I learned from being among Goths as much as I have always seeps back into my mind. I am bipolar, usually on very long down swings and having been that way for a great deal of my life I listen to the dark music that I have discovered I can identify with. I have no illusions of enlightenment in this life and by my embrace of Samsara, I would guess not for many thousands of lives to come. I considered myself Buddhist for a few years but I have realized by my continued thoughts and actions that help me cling to and embrace my own pain and suffering, I am not Buddhist so I now just call myself spiritual.

Ok, that's my useless input.

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

JUN 23, 2008 08:00 PM

arainwen said:
I was gonna leave a comment but there is no "I" so I decided not to.

Ok, that was a dumb opening but I really don't give a shit.

I grew up in a Buddhist household but I was never taught anything about it until much later. I went through a number of pagan religions including Wicca and eventually came to a point where i wanted to know more about Buddhism. I have talked with my father about it quite a bit and though I have taken refuge I have spent very little time in any group practice. Even though I have taken refuge I practice some Buddhism, but there are many other things that are a part of my spirituality as well and I prefer to practice my spirituality in solitude. Buddhism seems to fit the way I want to think the best, but the only thing I can put a finger on and say this is something important I have learned from Buddhism is to try to love everyone and show kindness, regardless of their actions.

In the end though the bullshit I learned from being among Goths as much as I have always seeps back into my mind. I am bipolar, usually on very long down swings and having been that way for a great deal of my life I listen to the dark music that I have discovered I can identify with. I have no illusions of enlightenment in this life and by my embrace of Samsara, I would guess not for many thousands of lives to come. I considered myself Buddhist for a few years but I have realized by my continued thoughts and actions that help me cling to and embrace my own pain and suffering, I am not Buddhist so I now just call myself spiritual.

Ok, that's my useless input.



It's not useless at all. I went through the same cycle of paganism to Buddhism, so I feel like I can relate a little. I think you have the right idea and don't even fully realize it. You say you embrace Samsara, but why should this mean that that you won't reach enlightenment in this lifetime? If Samsara is ever-changing, and change is the only way to transform suffering to enlightenment, then it seems like you're on the right track. You have to accept that there is suffering before you can transmute it to gold.

Like I said, it seems to me that you already know a lot. Now there's just to know that you know.

mellon

mellon

Brattleboro, VT
October 2004

JUN 23, 2008 09:44 PM

Nolan, "no self" is why it makes sense to work for the benefit of others. Read the Diamond Cutter Sutra sometime. It's not a competition. It's just that even if you have found a path that's working for you, the world's pain has not stopped, has it? If you can use that fact to generate a new motivation that gets you to the point where you can actually help others, is that a bad thing?

It's true that ultimately only you can get rid of your bad karma, but somehow we still have and value people who can teach us wisdom.

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

JUN 24, 2008 04:36 AM

mellon said:
Nolan, "no self" is why it makes sense to work for the benefit of others. Read the Diamond Cutter Sutra sometime. It's not a competition. It's just that even if you have found a path that's working for you, the world's pain has not stopped, has it? If you can use that fact to generate a new motivation that gets you to the point where you can actually help others, is that a bad thing?

It's true that ultimately only you can get rid of your bad karma, but somehow we still have and value people who can teach us wisdom.



But we cannot get to every living being and we also cannot expect ourselves to be able to shoulder the burden of the world. Perhaps it can be a noble motivation, but if we act within the realm of our daily lives in a way that is enough, as the very notion of our "good karma" will carry on to the people in our small area of the world, and lessen the burden of those people who may go out and create more good karma, or simply suffer less because of us. That is enough, I think. Of course, if you WANT to go out and try to change the whole world, then that is fine as well, as long as you do so without attachment to the outcome of your actions.

And as a friend, please stop telling me to "read this" or "read that." I know you don't mean it this way, because I'm sure your intentions are good, but it comes across as really condescending to me.

Mr_Matt_

Mr_Matt_

Pompano Beach, FL
July 2005

JUN 24, 2008 07:17 AM

What the fuck are your retreating from?

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