This is going to be quite a long blog post, so feel free to skip over it.
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I had originally intended to write a post on “solidarity” (or more accurately, lack thereof in the Asian American Pacific Islander community) and how it’s lead me to a personal decision, but I’m tired as hell right now and will write about that later. This hashtag does somewhat tie into the overall topic though.
I saw this trending on Twitter, and despite my vow to stay away from Twitter for a while, this hashtag piqued my interest and I thought I’d write some thoughts about it.
For those not in the know, the hashtag is, in one AAPI Twitter user’s words, a “healing of the fractured AAPI community” and a necessary first step to heal the divisions within our community - and I mostly agree with the sentiment behind it. The AAPI has some serious divisions within it, a subject I will write my thoughts on later.
I told a friend last year that I was glad that I have become more socially and politically aware in the last five years, but saw it as a blessing and a curse - a blessing because it opened my eyes to a lot of things I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise, and a curse because it ran the risk of making me perpetually angry at all the injustice. I told her that I was going to have to make a decision on how to internally deal with this subject because in all honesty, I don’t like being angry. It’s important to get angry at social injustices - I’m not saying I won’t continue to get angry at those - but it’s exhausting being perpetually pissed off, and frankly, damaging to your psyche and personal relationships.
When I get angry at ignorance, my first instinct is to lash out at my aggressor (real or perceived). And as long as we’re being totally honest, I think some people still need to be lashed out at because they are just so damn ignorant - I’m not against public shaming. Anyways, as tempting as it is, I know that productive dialogue is nearly always more effective at resolving differences instead of yelling at each other, both in real life and online. So instead of lashing out, I have decided to try to do my best to patient in my disagreements with people and educate them. Trust me, this is no easy feat, especially with my short temper - something I seriously dislike about myself. But “let’s talk” is a good starting point.
The people who disagree with the hashtag are being rude and dismissive, something which in my opinion is generally counterproductive. Think about it - if someone is a total asshole to you because you disagree with their point, how inclined are you to switch over to their point of view? And how many of us would be assholes in real life? It’s easy to be a jackass on the internet.
This is also not about “appeasement” or “drinking the kool-aid” - I’m not trying to appease anyone. I’m not out to please anyone but myself; that’s not how I work. I’ll still call out BS when I see it; I’ll still fight racism, sexism and the like. I just feel that we can disagree with each other civilly and are much stronger united than divided as a community. For this to be an effective movement, however, it needs to be by us, for us and among us.
This is not an easy personal decision to make, in no small doubt to having to swallow my pride, but I’ll give it a shot. I’m going to try to do what my friend Colette suggested - I can choose whether or not to be angry.
I hope whoever reads this is able to decipher my ramblings. I realize that some - probably many - of my followers and anyone else who reads this will disagree with me. And that’s fine. I encourage dialogue. I just hope that those who disagree with me are civil in their disagreements, and I will be as well.