A couple of random observations about Chuck Norris

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story, Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out it was six feet tall and had learned karate.

2. Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

3, When Chuck Norris talks about "pumping iron" he is actually referring to masturbation.

4. Chuck Norris actually sang the "Walker, Texas ranger" theme song. This is no joke, He actually fucking sang it.