I want to tell you a story. If you have heard this story before, I beg your indulgence. I'm serious. There are no jokes in this blog. And no jokes were harmed in the making of this blog (ok maybe one).

Back in January of this year, I was dead. Not physically obviously but emotionally and spiritually dead. I had no job and despite my best efforts the prospects were bleak. My father had at that time still not gotten past the grief of losing his wife in December 2008 and had seemingly given up on life. it was my lot as the unemployed one to take care of him. I was tired. I was dead.

One day I received an e-mail from Suicide Girls offering a complimentary three month membership. I don't know if they were recruiting new membership from old membership, as I had been a member once before. And it was free. Naked girls, you kidding me? Free for three months. What link do I click already.

I thought my participation would be like before, look at sets, make a few comments, nothing much really. I never thought to blog or to friend anybody. Then it happened.

I was friended once, twice, again and again. MandaJune, Praesepe, Thanatogenous, AnnaLee. They were the first four. I commented on more sets, I sent PMs. I starting blogging. I was having fun. I was enjoying life.

Suicide Girls saved my life.

I've no doubt had we not found each other, more specifically had i not found you, I wouldn't be here. I'd be lying next to my mother, yet another casualty of her death.

Looking at wish lists kind of grew from that gratitude. I can never repay what you've done for me, but I can extend little tokens here and there. If you have a store, chances are I've been there or will be soon. If I can help, I will. And woe be to you with wish lists...it can be Christmas 365 and 24/7. I do it not for recognition, though I'm human enough to appreciate your gratitude, daresay even acknowledge if asked. But let me say again, you've done so much more for me than I can ever do for you.

You have a cause, I'll contribute to it.

Quite simply stated, not only to my friends and faves, but to all members, management and staff:
If I were to leave tomorrow, please know that from the bottom of my heart, I love each and every one of you. And I'm not going anywhere baby.