More of my random thoughts:
I wanna make breast cancer awareness shirts for women with a pic of a pearl necklace that say, "Find a cure, because I'm not gonna swallow"
This year on 4/20 I'm having a birthday party for Hitler. Party hats, German chocolate cake and novelty moustaches for all who attend.
At a flea market, I walked past a place where I could adopt a puppy, next to a place to buy a vibrator, tnext to a place to buy cigs. 1 stop shopping! If only they had peanut butter.
Good thing your mouth was open, otherwise that bird would have shit all over your face.
I just moved to New Orleans. The Cable Company down here is called Cox. I see vans all over that say "Proudly Serving Cox". As soon as I see one parked near a school I wanna snap a pic with my phone, and send it to the Megan's Law website.
If Mary was a virgin, does that mean Jesus broke her hymen with a headbutt?
I had trouble getting my anxiety meds, and it gave me anxiety.
I heard a girl talking about cheating on her boyfriend. I know this because she said, "I hope he doesn't notice my face smells like crotch" I think I'm in love.
If I had to guess, I'd say the rooster came first. Now excuse me, I have to go laugh and giggle at the thought of a rooster money shot.
I saw an fat guy limbering up to WALK around the park. If you're that out of shape, the only walking you should do is into traffic
If AIDS had a flavor, what would it be?
If a guy had male patern baldness on his junk and used his taint hair for a comb over when the wind blew his nuts would look like Larry Fine
Apparently they made a boat out of metal from the World Trade Center. They should dock it at Pearl Harbor and temp fate.
If a sperm whale weighs 45 tons, each little swimmy in their sperm must be the size of a dog. Getting a facial from them must be like getting hit in the face with a bag of collies.
I wonder if that same sperm whale would honk filthy, high frequecy clicks at you while it was giving that facial?
Have you ever been thirsty as hell and had to pee real bad at the same time? There's a serious breakdown of communication going on right there.
I recently met a girl who was so foul that if I were to cut her open I'll bet I could count her father's tears of disappointment and heartache like the rings in a tree. I love her.
When you are tossing a guy's salad, and his nuts are on your forehead, do you pretend that you are a unicorn, and that his cock is your horn, and what you are doing to his ass is magical?
Me either, because that would be weird.