Me and some friends are hitting up Philly Fan Expo this weekend. I’m going to meet David Tennant and Kevin Smith and I’m going to geek out so fucking hard. There’s tons of other things, too. I’m already stocked up on pot and I can’t wait to hang out with my fellow nerds in Philadelphia.
The community college of Philadelphia (in the late 90s) I took an acting class with Kevin Hart. We would play improv games. I’m not saying he should give me some of his money, but he definitely could have introduced me to Judd Apatow. I mean, I was your boy! Just like, “Hey Judd. I know this kid from college.” That’s all. Not get me a...
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She said:
She misses me
She misses my face
SHE MISSES MY COCK (her word)
She wants to fuck me! She wants to fuck me! She wants to fuck me! She wants to fuck me!
She wants to
fuck
me!
I’m so hard right now that I’m dripping pre-come AND I HAVEN’T EVEN TOUCHED IT!
So there’s this jawn that I used to have incredible sex with. She was adorable. She had huge tits and an ass so big that it’d clap when she was riding me. She used to gag on my dick while she squirted. We drifted apart and she got married. But she and her husband recently decided to have an open marriage!
MAYBE SHE’LL FUCK ME...
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To a water park with me? I’m 1/2 a cripple, so we’ll go straight to the front of the line! We’ll slide every slide before lunch!
PS: I’m only interested in going with a woman. She should wear a bikini, and after lunch be up for some heavy petting. I wanna play with some nips.
Is just to find a young lady who’ll let me get to 2nd base. It’s my favorite base! Small, big or anywhere in the middle. I love breasts of all sizes.
PS: 2nd base (for me) involves titty sucking.
Maybe not only Brazilian but also Mexican maybe someone from Columbia or El Salvador? Should I include European women as well? Dip my toe into my Eastern European roots? Maybe my Irish roots? I don’t know. It’d just be great if I could barely understand her speaking English.
And I’m going to go to São Paulo. I will find my wife-to-be there.
That terrible, awful show 90-day Fiancé. I’m thinking I should do that. I just need to find a Brazilian woman who’s into the idea. I don’t speak Portuguese, but she can spend the 90 days teaching me. I should definitely be able to speak a little basic conversational Portuguese in that time. It’ll probably help if she makes out with me a bunch, too.
I should listen to some Mozart. I wasn’t sure where to start, but I went with Le Nozze Di Figaro. And to my glorious surprise, a lot of it is used in the score of Trading Places.
Trading Places is: my favorite Eddie Murphy movie; my favorite Dan Aykroyd movie; my favorite Jamie Lee Curtis movie and my favorite Christmas movie. I guess it’s also...
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I was living in apartment with my then fiancé (she’s my ex wife now). My 🔌 was a guy I worked with. He used to sell me ounces of pretty decent marijuana for $150. We would blaze every night after dinner. We used to watch Brokeback Mountain a lot. Such a gorgeous film in every way. I miss those nights more than anything.
rare:
same 🥲