into: Teaching. Learning.
not into: Excuses, whining
makes me happy: Teaching, training, sparring, dancing, painting, racquetball, sex, good food, books, gardening, poker, role playing games, movies, music & art.
makes me sad: Cowardice. Lost love.
hobbies: See above
5 things i can't live without: Living in a remote part of rural Japan made me realize there are very few things I can't live without. Might be a few things I want. But very little that I need. I can adapt to almost anything.
vices: I don't consider any of them vices anymore. I like what I like and feel no guilt about any of it. Most of the time.
thoughts on sg: It's okay
i spend most of my free time: See "Makes Me Happy".
occupation: Retired. I do some volunteering but it's more fun than work.
Past jobs have included stripper, waitress, teacher, bouncer, bartender & landlord.
current crush: Breaks my heart every time I see him. So why move back where he lives? Because never seeing him makes my heart ache. Being close to him, even if we never talk, feels right. Even if it makes me kind of a stalker.
stats: Undefeated. I've taken a lot of damage. Been bloodied and bruised but never knocked out. These days I leave most of the fighting to others.
body mods: Pierced nipples and ears. Lots of scars & broken bones.
heroes: Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Voltaire, Nikolai Tesla, Yusuf Balasagun, Neil Gaimen, Robin Hobb & Jennifer Harmon.
gets me hot: Men who admire without leering. Girls who do leer. Dancing, good food, cooking with someone I love, massages, especially foot massages, wrestling with a man who doesn't either try to "let" me win or get his ego crushed when he can't pin me. Hands that are both strong and gentle. Overdeveloped calf muscles. Confidence.
favorite position: I like 'em all.
fantasy: Being loved by the one I love.
My fantasy is to be a home wrecker. That idea didn't used to bother me. It does now. And I still want it to happen.
Knowing that about myself makes me feel bad but doesn't change how I feel.
sign: Scorpio in search of Cancer BCB.
most humbling moment: When I realized that the man I thought was my soul mate didn't love me enough to make it work. That he was just going to let me go away.
...
Again
...
Every time I go back to him hoping he has changed his mind.
.....
Every time I realize that I will never get over him.
.....
Knowing that I recently made another man feel exactly the way he made me feel.
....
Wishing I could have found a way to change that and realizing it was impossible.
i lost my virginity: Far too young.
I AM LOOKING FOR: whoever comes along
MY STATUS: single
I WANT: Friendship, Online Flirting
MY PIGEONHOLES: Crafty, Arty, Fashionista, Diva
