THE THING FROM BEYOND THE FRIDGE!
This story is too good to go to waste.
So me and my roommate are at home all day, and during the end of the day, he mentioned that a peculiar smell was eminating from the kitchen. I went with him to investigate, and yes, i smelled it too. It was a smell like a dead rat dipped in a menstral cycle (yes i know that sounds horrible). We thus continued to sniff every inch of the kitchen, to locate the odor. After twenty minutes, we had no luck. Then my roommate moved something on the top of the fridge, and it proceded to drip red goo down the side of the fridge!
Thus followed the nonsensical screaming like two little girls. Such things as 'That's it! That's it!', and 'AAAAAAAAHHH!!!'.
We made so much commotion, that my second roommate came tosee what the matter was. We then quadruple bagged our hands to move the strange blob in a bag to a trash bag (also quadrupled).
When it was picked up, the object in the bag strangely resembled a human heart.
This spawned many jokes about how our fourth roommate has just broke up with her boyfriend, and we decided that she must have killed him and put his heart on top of the fridge.
we then threw it away outside.
Suddenly, roommate #2 reveals that he MUST know what that thing was. So i get a big flashlight and we go out to the dumpster with a massive black rubber glove. We opened the mysterious bag to discover two things-
-it was full of worms.
-and the thing was ......
....you know you want to know....
...the suspense is killing you.....
.....the answer you've been waiting for...
....the secret to the beast of the fridge....
...was it a human heart?......
...no..
.....it was....
...an...
......ONION!
An onion that deteriorated into a blob! How does this happen??!!
moral: never trust onions, sneaky bastards.
On a side note, when my girl roommate was on the phone telling her ex that we thought it was his heart, i, without thinking what i was saying, said 'yeah it was on top of the fridge, and that's where it's been all this time!' It took me a few to realize what i had just said. But i still think it's funny!
-THE END
based on actual events of last night
This story is too good to go to waste.
So me and my roommate are at home all day, and during the end of the day, he mentioned that a peculiar smell was eminating from the kitchen. I went with him to investigate, and yes, i smelled it too. It was a smell like a dead rat dipped in a menstral cycle (yes i know that sounds horrible). We thus continued to sniff every inch of the kitchen, to locate the odor. After twenty minutes, we had no luck. Then my roommate moved something on the top of the fridge, and it proceded to drip red goo down the side of the fridge!
Thus followed the nonsensical screaming like two little girls. Such things as 'That's it! That's it!', and 'AAAAAAAAHHH!!!'.
We made so much commotion, that my second roommate came tosee what the matter was. We then quadruple bagged our hands to move the strange blob in a bag to a trash bag (also quadrupled).
When it was picked up, the object in the bag strangely resembled a human heart.
This spawned many jokes about how our fourth roommate has just broke up with her boyfriend, and we decided that she must have killed him and put his heart on top of the fridge.
we then threw it away outside.
Suddenly, roommate #2 reveals that he MUST know what that thing was. So i get a big flashlight and we go out to the dumpster with a massive black rubber glove. We opened the mysterious bag to discover two things-
-it was full of worms.
-and the thing was ......
....you know you want to know....
...the suspense is killing you.....
.....the answer you've been waiting for...
....the secret to the beast of the fridge....
...was it a human heart?......
...no..
.....it was....
...an...
......ONION!
An onion that deteriorated into a blob! How does this happen??!!
moral: never trust onions, sneaky bastards.
On a side note, when my girl roommate was on the phone telling her ex that we thought it was his heart, i, without thinking what i was saying, said 'yeah it was on top of the fridge, and that's where it's been all this time!' It took me a few to realize what i had just said. But i still think it's funny!
-THE END
based on actual events of last night
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
sixsixty:
i love the little mini's you are doing!
requiem:
Awww. I wish I had a refrigerator story to share with everybody...