Saturday Feb 13, 2010

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today i started fuckin around w/ a loop and made up this kinda funny DJ-style take on "Such Great Heights" with some random hip-hop a cappella that i found. i want to do some more sampling and work on some beats more. but i just have so much fun. i just started doing something and next thing i knew almost 4 hours had gone by shocked
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nemesis:
We've basically been snowed in (the subways aren't running from where I live) these past two days. Which could be cozy if it was the beginning of winter. But right now I reeeally just want to be able to walk without tripping all over the ice, be able to take pictures outside without my hands going numb after two seconds and so on.
It is a great excuse to not show up in school though.
jody:
I really like that song.

Thanks for the nice comment! As for animals, I think I like them better than people a lot of the time. tongue

Saturday Jan 09, 2010

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I've been having really vivid dreams a lot lately. Like, multiple in a week, which is a record for me. i usually have a vivid dream that i remember like a few times a year.
unfortunately there's been a recurring theme. Some kind of "incident" that involves a group of people (either family or my peers) and me being the badguy. Me getting into some...
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solipsis:
Quite. Hand in hand with the desire to let them flourish in anonymity. I'm working on it, along with many other things as well.
marysa:
hey, thank you very much for the comment on my blog, it totally got me since most of the persons sometimes dont really say much for any other reason.
You are right in what you say, however im not trying to deny my bad feelings since its been 3 days i was dealing with them, i just came to a point where its time to keep going instead of getting stuck in madness because there are other things that deserve the time i invest thinking and maybe over thinking.
About outgrowing people its hard, yeah specially cause somehow i really dont understand what happened or why things are how they are at the moment, but still its maybe just the way to show me that its time to move apart from what i thought were the persons that were going to last at least longer.

About your blog, i do have lots of vivid dreams and i love them, many dreams do tell you stuff about yourself which i wouldnt know how to interpret and i end up telling them to see what people come with, its usually awesome what people say and at some point you seem to find a conection or so i think whatever anyway, i really wouldnt know what to tell about your dream, cause the only dream i have ever had about being restrained was one where i was being taken away from my father and some robbers were going to kill him, so i tried to got in between and got shot after that i just felt and couldnt get up again and felt a huge weight... during my actual live at the moment of my dream my father was recently dead, so it was a pretty much clear dream for me.... maybe you just need to think a bit more about your daily stuff and see the conections?
This was a super long comment but then again, thanks a lot for passing by my blog and the nice and smart words.

Thursday Dec 24, 2009

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So I recorded some crazy chant music with a bunch of vocal takes and a drone underneath it. I'm debating whether or not I'll post it on my myspace page yet, because I'm quite sure the mix is gonna be shit - I've mixed it in headphones and that never transfers over well. But if you wanna check it out, it'll probably be on my...
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malloreigh:
jameswyper painted it! i am actually at his house right now and he is painting right beside me.
mariposa:
I totally understand what you mean by feeling freer when you're working. I paint because I MUST. I mean, I LOVE it, but I MUST or I'll explode. It's the best way for me to channel into the core of me.

I also agree it can be amazing what another creating spirit can do for ideas and more creation. It's always nice to have a partner in crime. I have many creative friends but none have yet to mingle with me in a collaborative kinda way.
Poo.

Yes, that is Roger in all those photos.

I have about 4 new paintings to put up - but they need minor touch ups and my computer crashed so it's taking me a little more time than usual. Whenever I'm online it's the roomies computer...which doesn't have the programs I need. Eh.

All in all, I'm okay.

Thursday Dec 17, 2009

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i've just noticed that more than once I've had dreams in which there's an upsetting incident or situation and I lose my voice completely. like i'll be in an argument and even tho i'm sure i'm right and could explain myself if given the chance, my throat and mouth become so dry that i can't even speak clearly. And so all i am is this...
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nova_:
Bad dreams blow. Miss talking to you!

Saturday Dec 12, 2009

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Everything is dying. Everyone i know is dying. They were all born dying. And I'm supposed to carry on my merry way and never think about it. Never worry about it. Never know what it means or if it means anything. Just knowing that sooner or later everything goes away. Nothing sensationalized or dramatic. Just a lacking which is beyond any explanation or definition.
la_maga:
<3

Monday Nov 16, 2009

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I thought I was over it - but I still find myself with the nagging feeling of wanting certain people to like me and being frustrated by their lack of interest. What's the reason?




and please, if you haven't already heard this song, put it on right before you turn out the lights and go to bed. You won't regret it, i swear.
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nemesis:
Yes, the pointlessness is the very reason I also try to stay away from as many networking/social communities as possible. Also I like having some amount of control over what I publish about myself and what not and things like Facebook where people from ones past and present and different areas of life can make their way into your life again or make public things you view as personal and you'd rather not share are an absolute no for me. A lot of my friends are pretty taken aback when they hear I don't have Facebook, like that would be the same as saying I don't want to communicate with them. But I think it's the other way around. If I can read every waking hour what they are up to, see photos of what they did with their other friends, know what they're planning for the weekend it just takes away the part of communication where you actively make a call and ask how someone is doing, rather than trying to read off their mood from a fucking status bar.

Have you used Facebooks? What's your impression?

I can also reeeally not understand why anyone would want to share the same parts of their lives with their close friends as they do with their colleagues or parents. Maybe that's just me, wanting to keep certain domains separate from one another in life... is that about to die out?
osaka:
indeed, alas, it is done. :/
stupid family

Wednesday Nov 11, 2009

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OK. So being creatively frustrated as I am is the single most annoying element of human existence. Day in and day out my mind bubbles with creative ideas that in all likelihood will never see the light of day.
I kid you not - I am a creative genius. The ideas that I have extend beyond what anyone else out there is presenting right now....
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malloreigh:
thank you, as always, for your thoughtful and insightful comments. i love your long-as comments on my journal. they are a delight to read, if somewhat overwhelming to respond to wholly (at times).

you say things in a very clear and succinct way. of course you're right. and thank you - your calling me independent and aspiring has made me feel more confident in being both of those things. i appreciate it.

now, about what you've said here, that does sound like a really frustrating feeling. and a fear that is probably justified. but as kant tells us, we are bound by duty to build our skills and talents. we are given them and it is our responsibility as members of humanity to develop them. you aren't necessarily doing it for yourself, or for others, but to enrich humanity itself.

as if that makes ANYONE feel better. thanks again for nothing, kant.

do you think you'll ever really make something you feel is of merit? do you think you'll ever really be happy with the things that you create? so many artists are cursed with that constant sense of imperfection.

you are so lucky that you have things to say. that you have a creative core that needs expression, and that you have the motivation to get there. is it the means you're lacking? well. there are many, many ways to make art.

Tuesday Nov 10, 2009

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la_maga:
Unya!

Sunday Nov 08, 2009

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Would posting more photos make my journal more appealing/accessible to read?
la_maga:
pictures of bottom!
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