hi
i want to try and (briefly) address an issue about this site and, oddly enough, where i live. it is an opinion. feel free to think differently because that is, after all, why i have a job.
upon advice from a friend here, i decided to try and join a regional group, which for me is SGCC-DC. because what could be cooler than meeting up with some of your local SG'ers in the flesh? DC is certainly at a deficit for cool people, so i decided to give it a try. sent the request then got a reply from wreernt saying that i'd been denied. reason being were several. 1. i need to be more active on the site. 2. need to have a profile and a history. 3. have a friend vouch for me.
the problem i had was that i'd met the first two criteria, hands down. but, i get a canned response alluding to the fact that i need be more active and have a profile (??) and have "one of my two" friends vouch" for me and that if i'm un-creepy i'd be reconsidered. it was like i wasn't even given a chance simply because i was a guy and therefore a threat. i took offense to being treated like a creep stalker and said as much in the nicest, most non-threatening way i knew how. i also asked for any further reply to be sent to email.
i was greeted next by a reply to my journal (!!!) alluding to the fact that i should feel privelaged i was being graced with a reply, and that i better watch myself around the site because i could get kicked off if i didn't settle down (also !!!! and ???).
anyway, i sent her a private email explaining myself and that i thereby retracted my group request because i didn't appreciated being labeled a creep when my profile was right there in black and white. end of (that part) of story.
let it be known here and now that i am in no way insensitive to the fact that there are some really fucking weird guys out there who tend to scare the shit out of any girl who walks out of her front door, physical or otherwise. i understand completely why girls, especially in environments such as this, need to watch their proverbial ass around here. if it weren't for asshole, pushy, stalker, weirdo males out there acting this way, my nose wouldn't have the slight lean to the left it does today (broken long ago while endeavoring to teach a stalker/asshole to leave my friends alone) and i wouldn't feel a bit of empathy about this whole issue.
but i do. i understand totally. i see the effects of it, albeit from a different side, every damn day. women are so defensive and so constantly on their guard these days (especially in DC). its a palatable sense of hostility and defensiveness which almost always accompanies even passingly pretty ladies. you can't even walk down the street and say "hi" in the most innocent way without getting a weird look, much less a smile and a hi back.
its not the girls' fault, really. its the fault of all of those weirdo creeps out there who think that "hi" is an invitation that somehow means bed and sex and whatever else their creeped out minds can think up. its the fault of men who have no sense of honor, dignity, respect or chivalry. its because of men out there who barely deserve the name man.
i'm writing so much about this because it affects me, personally.
i'm not a creepy guy. i have a damn good job. i keep my apartment clean. i'm at least moderately good looking (see zephyra for an unbiased opinion) there's nothing growing in my fridge. i love my mom. i have cats. i don't curse around my elders. i say "sir" and "
ma'am" to anyone older than me. i read literature. i like kids. i hold the door for anyone, not just ladies, who may enter behind me. i always buy the first round when we go out drinking. i do what i can to make any woman in my general area know, by body language or respecting her space or even standing in between her and some creep while on the subway, that i'm no threat to her. i've had more girlfriends than i can remember, and i'm willing to bet every one of them would say i'm the perfect gentleman or i at least try to be. i have feelings. those feelings get a little hurt when, despite everything i do to try and make the world around me at least a little better, i'm branded as a creep or a threat just because i'm male.
my whole reason for this tirade is this. if people don't give each other at least a small chance to show each other that they're not creepy weirdos, then we'll all go through our lives scared of each other and jumping at shadows. sure, you'll run into the bad ones, but you have to handle them the best way you can. otherwise, if you treat everyone as "guilty until innocent" then you'll never meet anyone cool because you'll just offend the respectable people who mean well.
anyway, i've noticed that guys out here in the DC area are way more aggressive, lewd, rude, and disrepctful of women than where i am from (TX). i've noticed that as a result, the women out here are frigid, pensive, and hostile. i feel for the ladies, i really do. hell, i had some drunk old bag hittiing on me hard the other night at my fav dive bar (the laughing lizard lounge on king street). it was a very uncomfortable situation. here was this revolting old lady slobbering all over my arm and i had to find a way to tactfully detatch myself from her hand and attention without making a scene. i can only imagine the complications that would arise if i was physically threatened by her.
anyway, what i'm trying to say is that its not so much like that in TX. the men there are generally more well behaved and the girls, as a result, are too. thats why i'll always say that one day i'll make my home there because people are at least civil to each other.
kudos to wreent for being protective of her group members. but it is my opinion that you should be more tactful when dealing with potential new members. i hold nothing against you personally, just the unfortunate circumstance of your situation.
ok, so you can spank me because that really wasn't brief. sorry. actually, i'm not, because i need a good spanking.
-pb
book: quicksilver, neal stephenson
music: portishead
LATER
about Jersey. a snippet from my post on [MEMBER=Ivy's] journal. i can't seem to remember why she would actually give a rats ass about what i had to say about Jersey, but there you go.
"especially preturbing, however, is the state lawmakers' inability to trust its citizenry, resident or otherwise, with the dubious freedom of turning left whilst driving. hence the term "jughandles" being in common use."
-pb
i want to try and (briefly) address an issue about this site and, oddly enough, where i live. it is an opinion. feel free to think differently because that is, after all, why i have a job.
upon advice from a friend here, i decided to try and join a regional group, which for me is SGCC-DC. because what could be cooler than meeting up with some of your local SG'ers in the flesh? DC is certainly at a deficit for cool people, so i decided to give it a try. sent the request then got a reply from wreernt saying that i'd been denied. reason being were several. 1. i need to be more active on the site. 2. need to have a profile and a history. 3. have a friend vouch for me.
the problem i had was that i'd met the first two criteria, hands down. but, i get a canned response alluding to the fact that i need be more active and have a profile (??) and have "one of my two" friends vouch" for me and that if i'm un-creepy i'd be reconsidered. it was like i wasn't even given a chance simply because i was a guy and therefore a threat. i took offense to being treated like a creep stalker and said as much in the nicest, most non-threatening way i knew how. i also asked for any further reply to be sent to email.
i was greeted next by a reply to my journal (!!!) alluding to the fact that i should feel privelaged i was being graced with a reply, and that i better watch myself around the site because i could get kicked off if i didn't settle down (also !!!! and ???).
anyway, i sent her a private email explaining myself and that i thereby retracted my group request because i didn't appreciated being labeled a creep when my profile was right there in black and white. end of (that part) of story.
let it be known here and now that i am in no way insensitive to the fact that there are some really fucking weird guys out there who tend to scare the shit out of any girl who walks out of her front door, physical or otherwise. i understand completely why girls, especially in environments such as this, need to watch their proverbial ass around here. if it weren't for asshole, pushy, stalker, weirdo males out there acting this way, my nose wouldn't have the slight lean to the left it does today (broken long ago while endeavoring to teach a stalker/asshole to leave my friends alone) and i wouldn't feel a bit of empathy about this whole issue.
but i do. i understand totally. i see the effects of it, albeit from a different side, every damn day. women are so defensive and so constantly on their guard these days (especially in DC). its a palatable sense of hostility and defensiveness which almost always accompanies even passingly pretty ladies. you can't even walk down the street and say "hi" in the most innocent way without getting a weird look, much less a smile and a hi back.
its not the girls' fault, really. its the fault of all of those weirdo creeps out there who think that "hi" is an invitation that somehow means bed and sex and whatever else their creeped out minds can think up. its the fault of men who have no sense of honor, dignity, respect or chivalry. its because of men out there who barely deserve the name man.
i'm writing so much about this because it affects me, personally.
i'm not a creepy guy. i have a damn good job. i keep my apartment clean. i'm at least moderately good looking (see zephyra for an unbiased opinion) there's nothing growing in my fridge. i love my mom. i have cats. i don't curse around my elders. i say "sir" and "
ma'am" to anyone older than me. i read literature. i like kids. i hold the door for anyone, not just ladies, who may enter behind me. i always buy the first round when we go out drinking. i do what i can to make any woman in my general area know, by body language or respecting her space or even standing in between her and some creep while on the subway, that i'm no threat to her. i've had more girlfriends than i can remember, and i'm willing to bet every one of them would say i'm the perfect gentleman or i at least try to be. i have feelings. those feelings get a little hurt when, despite everything i do to try and make the world around me at least a little better, i'm branded as a creep or a threat just because i'm male.
my whole reason for this tirade is this. if people don't give each other at least a small chance to show each other that they're not creepy weirdos, then we'll all go through our lives scared of each other and jumping at shadows. sure, you'll run into the bad ones, but you have to handle them the best way you can. otherwise, if you treat everyone as "guilty until innocent" then you'll never meet anyone cool because you'll just offend the respectable people who mean well.
anyway, i've noticed that guys out here in the DC area are way more aggressive, lewd, rude, and disrepctful of women than where i am from (TX). i've noticed that as a result, the women out here are frigid, pensive, and hostile. i feel for the ladies, i really do. hell, i had some drunk old bag hittiing on me hard the other night at my fav dive bar (the laughing lizard lounge on king street). it was a very uncomfortable situation. here was this revolting old lady slobbering all over my arm and i had to find a way to tactfully detatch myself from her hand and attention without making a scene. i can only imagine the complications that would arise if i was physically threatened by her.
anyway, what i'm trying to say is that its not so much like that in TX. the men there are generally more well behaved and the girls, as a result, are too. thats why i'll always say that one day i'll make my home there because people are at least civil to each other.
kudos to wreent for being protective of her group members. but it is my opinion that you should be more tactful when dealing with potential new members. i hold nothing against you personally, just the unfortunate circumstance of your situation.
ok, so you can spank me because that really wasn't brief. sorry. actually, i'm not, because i need a good spanking.
-pb
book: quicksilver, neal stephenson
music: portishead
LATER
about Jersey. a snippet from my post on [MEMBER=Ivy's] journal. i can't seem to remember why she would actually give a rats ass about what i had to say about Jersey, but there you go.
"especially preturbing, however, is the state lawmakers' inability to trust its citizenry, resident or otherwise, with the dubious freedom of turning left whilst driving. hence the term "jughandles" being in common use."
-pb
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
i think u just asked at the wrong time dude
nothin more
the way to hell is paved with good intentions and the sculls of unbaptized children
the fact that youre pressing the issue is making u look like a dick even if you are NOT a dick
i say just chill, give it some time and try to apply again
my recounting of the story was merely a set up type thing for what i really wanted to say, which was just an lengthy and rather exhausting attempt at rehashing the tired old saying "...yeah but there ARE actually decent human beings, and yes even males, out there."
furthermore, i tend to use my journal to place my thoughts on things. to me, its my small place to put down what i want, and people are free to comment. i think perhaps if i wanted to press the issue i would have left a note or three in her journal.
as far as i'm concerned i said what i had to say, in my own journal, and now i'm done. i just saw the whole thing as indicitive of a larger issue and wished to comment on it, like i do on many things.
in fact, i'm thinking of something else i'd like to write about right now....girls (suprise, suprise).
-pb