So. Not much new. Work is a roller coaster. A scary roller coaster. I have been bitching about it a ton so I need to cut that. I don't like people that complain all the time and I have started doing that with my job. I did get my first crackhead mother. I have had heroin, alcohol, pills, all that but just got my first... Read More
I hope so to, but now there fighting and he feels like Im trying to tear them apart and that Im doing a good job of it, I feel bad, I never wanted to hurt anyone, I wasnt trying to break them up, maybe everyone would have been better off if they had just stayed in the dark, ignorance is bliss, I just dont know what to feel right now.
I was going to try to do all of that, thanks.
Everyone needs a place where they can get out all the bad things, it is better to do that hear then it is to keep it on the inside.
That is just fucking stupid, why would they want to wait, wouldnt it be better to start as soon as possible, I dont like that at all.
Well what is the job and why do you not know if you want to do it or not? Good luck, Im sure you will find a great job soon.
I have no social life either, at least you can go and talk to a friend, Im pretty much just talking to people on the internet.
At least you are ridding some, you will get back to it when you have more time.
I guess since I am approaching 2 months since my last blog I should write something. I guess it is the struggle right now. I work a rough job that does not pay well. I work in social services and knew it wouldn't pay well and money is not that important but having enough to live on and save a bit is nice. Not doing... Read More
remember what an important thing it is to try and help, even though there are probably a lot of cases where you just know that nothing you can do will be able to change the outcome, most people spend their whole lives without ever having helped a single kid out of a bad situation.
and some kids really do recover much later on - sometimes things dont change until many years into adulthood. so you can never be sure its a hopeless future.
i know it seems strange, like, who am i to be writing here trying to see those things from the bright side - hell im a real cynicist so if i were you i would probably be pretty damn disillusioned with the whole system. but still, those few cases where things do turn out for the better are what counts.
I hope it does to, if I even do it, I spent a lot of time and money on it, but now I dont even feel like I will want to leave the house, Im way to sad for all of that.
My posts get further and further apart. I just don't have a lot to say. I am just struggling now. Money is tight as hell, the job is rough/consuming and my "social" life is a joke. These seem to be recurring themes. This has been a tough adjustment and I am trying to hang on and not freak out and go back to contracting.
Where did the fucking days go? I feel like I am living in a hole. I turned around and a month has gone by since my last post. In that time all kinds of awesome sets have gone up and good blogs as well. I haven't been commenting on shit. I just don't know what happened. I went to Hell City in that time which... Read More
What is it that you work with now? I read about people who work in social services and treatment centers and those fields and I am in awe of the strength that these people have to be able to deal with so much depressing, absolutely heartwrenching stuff. I don't think I could do it. I would go completely insane. At the same time its so important that someone DOES this work, its so sad that we don't honour it more than we do.
Wish there was something I could do to make things better for you, but at least know that you're in my thoughts.
thank you, all I did today was work, last night was fun, but at the end I got into a big drunk discussion that made me realize how alone I have been my whole life.
Finally got internet at my new apartment, so I am up and running again.
Things are going ok. I am trying to stay calm and let things kind of even out. Things not working out the way I had planned and settling into this life for a year or so is taking a lot of self control. I want to go back to the contracting... Read More
Im pretty excited about seeing X live, I hear they put on a really great live show, I hear the last time they played at the dame back on 2003 it was pretty amazing.
You may like some of the bands at the Mayhem festival, there a lot of newer really heave bands going to be there.
What do you mean by link up? is that another term for hanging out?
I really hope work is better this week.
What is going on, why are things not working out? I hope things get better.
Wow that sounds really tuff, I dont know how I would handle things like that, I bet it will be a life change experience to say the least.
Looks like a pretty nice bike, tell me some things about it? Do you mind if I ask how much you paid for it? I need to get some work done on my Yukon Giant, I had not really had a place to put it where I live until I moved into this house, so it was at my mom and step dads place and they didnt take very good care of it, still seem to ride ok though.
well I never pass up the chance to meet up with an internet friend, unless he is wanting to stab me in the face with a big ink pen, then I just tell him Im busy.
Things may not have worked out as of yet, but things will change and you will get to live the life you want, it just may take a year longer then you wanted it to.
That is a pretty pricy bike, but I want to get a $3000 camera, so I guess you get what you pay for, you can tell me more about the bike if you like, I think my bike was under 500 when I got it like around 1995.
No internet at the new place so I have very limited SG time. Getting on SG at a coffee shop doesn't really work well. So I will be very limited on here until I figure out the internet thing.
So things seem to be falling into place somewhat. I start work on the 27th which is great. I was beginning to feel pretty worthless not working. I really only needed 2 months to decompress from the contract, not 5 months. But it worked out in the end.
I got an apartment, just moved in yesterday. I still have a lot to do with unpacking,... Read More
Im so glad you got the job and are about to go to work, I hope you really enjoy your new job.
You should post photos of your new place, I would like to see it. I had the same couch for about 7 years, my dad had it about 10 years before that, the last time I moved I didnt have room for it because I was moving in with people, so my dad took it and I think he burned it, there was a lot of sentimental value with that couch. That is crazy, what was going thru your head when you were burning your couch?
I was so supper glad to see that she was back, she was always really nice to me.
Got my medical bill for my uninsured hospital stay, the damage is $22,000. Fuck. Fucking fuck. That was a surgery and 3 days in the hospital. $22,000 fucking dollars. Gotta set up a payment plan for sure. I didn't get shit for aid and got a small discount from the hospital. Puts a damper on my plans for sure.
At least you have a method for dealing. You sound motivated to go after what you want rather than play the victim. I completely admire that. Good luck, stay tough...I wish you the best.
Job interview in 1 week. I will shave my beard off trying to look more clean cut and professional. I got all my child abuse and criminal records clearances back. I really thing unless I bomb the interview I will have the job. I need it. I am going crazy. I don't know how people can be unemployed. 3 weeks without work is fine but... Read More
Got clearance from the doctor today to go back to my normal activity. I have to ease back into training and all that stuff, but it will be nice to exercise again and feel better. All this laying around on the couch makes me feel worthless. Of course the weather has warmed up but when I am going to be able to cycle again it... Read More
Thank you, it is 73 years old and has been all renovated, the hardwood floors are original to the house and have been re done, I hope I can get it, it is only $89,000 which is pretty cheep for a house I think, I just hope they dont sale it before I get my debts paid off,
That is a lot of people, I was so afraid that I was going to be one of the people who were not going to get power for 3 weeks.
I hope so to, I got written up today along with a bunch of other guys, they lied, I told my manager I didnt mind getting written up, it was the fact they said on my paper that I was doing something other then what I was doing.
Yeah, I'm really glad that I was able to find a decently used copy of Dry on CD not too long ago. And since, I'm sure my neighbors are tired of hearing the album play over and over
Well things were, I repeat, were looking pretty good. I had taken the county caseworker civil service exam and rocked it. I was 3rd on the list of 259 people. 255 did worse than me, 1 did the same and 2 did better. That is pretty damn good and I was surprised. I had dropped 10lbs in 3 weeks, I was getting back into shape,... Read More
I have come to realize that I need to stay in Pittsburgh for a good year. I need to get a job in my degree field, entry level type stuff so I can get experience. I am not getting anything from the jobs in Germany mainly because I do not have specific... Read More
I wish I could do something to cheer you up... but then I'm sure things will get better again soon enough. It's always really difficult to get through the lows when they are BAD lows.
Swimming is my favorite form of exercise, because you have time to think. It's relaxing and exhausting at the same time!
I was going to try to do all of that, thanks.
Everyone needs a place where they can get out all the bad things, it is better to do that hear then it is to keep it on the inside.
That is just fucking stupid, why would they want to wait, wouldnt it be better to start as soon as possible, I dont like that at all.
Well what is the job and why do you not know if you want to do it or not? Good luck, Im sure you will find a great job soon.
I have no social life either, at least you can go and talk to a friend, Im pretty much just talking to people on the internet.
At least you are ridding some, you will get back to it when you have more time.