The inescapable gravity of mediocrity. Whether it's a self-fulfilling prophecy or just the honest truth I've been feeling awful pathetic for an awful long time. I've completely lost the ability to write music, I feel absolutely helpless and useless at work. It's been 7-months since Amanda died but some days it still hits me harder than I can handle. My girlfriend and I just feel...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sarahveza:
still waiting for that picture...
sickgirl78:
that tattoo sounds like a great idea.
So I think I've finally settled on a memorial tattoo for my best friend and roommate Amanda (demonbuttercup when she was on here). I have a claddagh tattoo on my left forearm and I was thinking of getting one essentially the same size on my right forearm but instead of a heart it'll have a day of the dead Mary skull with skeletal hands holding...
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slackerinchief:
speechless... 
I just wanted to thank everyone for wishing me a happy birthday. I think it was the first time I actually went to a bar on my birthday though I was only there for an hour or two. Being Irish and born on st. patrick's day, bars can get really annoying with everyone getting drunk and sporting their worst brogues so I just avoid the...
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malady:
Yep, I'd probably avoid the bars too in your case!
Lately I have mistaken slightly less misery as happiness. I haven't had a happy moment since Amanda died and even then I wasn't really feeling great. I took the day off today and there were times when I felt like, it's moments like this when I should be happy. Moments like this when I remember finding something to feel good about and it's just not...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
lackluster:
happy birthday old man! 
slackerinchief:
AY Dawg, Have merry christmas! Oh and uh...do something cool for your birthday, SON!!! 
i have to say something if i
wanna sing
but it's not about the words
it's my voice rising
to a place far from me
that my fingers can't reach
and my legs are so tired
from all of this
standing still
all of my dreams are memories
that i can't place to a time
or a face but my body
knows of the ribbons...
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wanna sing
but it's not about the words
it's my voice rising
to a place far from me
that my fingers can't reach
and my legs are so tired
from all of this
standing still
all of my dreams are memories
that i can't place to a time
or a face but my body
knows of the ribbons...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
librarygirl:
Chubbiness and glasses? I have both... 
On falling in love:
I was thinking about the internet and dating and falling in love and all that jazz. It's not about finding someone that listens to the same bands or reads the same books or loves the same movies. Many of us make and read these lists and start to fall for or on the flip side dismiss someone because they aren't clones...
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I was thinking about the internet and dating and falling in love and all that jazz. It's not about finding someone that listens to the same bands or reads the same books or loves the same movies. Many of us make and read these lists and start to fall for or on the flip side dismiss someone because they aren't clones...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
lackluster:
yes. of course i have. i saw it in the theater when i was dating this guy that actually told me about this site. the film turned me on so much. i lucked out on a hand job before the ending credits. of course that doesnt say MUCH... i've gotten a hnd job in muppets 3d at disneyland. hah
lackluster:
hey gangsta, how are tricks?
I just bought a $13 beer. It's some super high-falootin Rogue Stout that comes in an awesome bottle that might be ceramic (I'm too lazy to get up and check). If nothing else I can say that I bought a $13 beer.
I got my tattoo on saturday....f-holes on the insides of my upper arms...they turned out better than I thought they would. Though I...
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I got my tattoo on saturday....f-holes on the insides of my upper arms...they turned out better than I thought they would. Though I...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
lackluster:
youre lucky i know you... or you might seem like a real pervert to people reading my comments. seattle is wet.
lackluster:
i had this dream about you. and im going to tell you about it because its not normal that i dream about anyone let alone remember it. so i was at this house party.. that these chicks were having. they were more around your age.. and you were with them in the kitchen. and then i saw you and you just stood very stunned and i dropped my glass and started running outside. and it was strangely vibrant and bright outside. and the sky was really blue and sunny. and then i jumped really high and grabbed these handles... and i was suspended by my arms and swinging around in the air. it was amazingly fun and i wasnt affraid at all. which you know is weird because i HATE free heights. i kept going higher and swinging bigger until my body fell the the ground.. and you came over and picked it up.. but my mind fell from where i was to the top of a hill where a beautiful woman held my hand. WEIRD. i dont suppose it makes any sense, but it is weird that i know that you hate things swinging around like that. whatevs im not going to try and make sense of it.
It's really amazing how difficult it is to find a drummer. Maybe there are just a lot of spineless drummers out there that can't admit that they just don't like us or our music....I'm sick of hearing how much they really like us but it's just not the right project for what they want to play. If this was like many band situations it wouldn't...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
tigerangel:
Thanks! But yeah, that is precisely the reason I want to go as well!
lackluster:
thanks for keeping tabs. but in all fairness this has been a shitty month.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
lackluster:
i uh...called you with a PHONE. neat, huh?
lackluster:
oki.. im at someone's house tonight.. i may stay over. i almost went up there to surprise you this weekend! but then my road trip buddy got sick... so as long as you pay it before i think... it is the 26th then the fine will not double. so when's your break? watcha doin for it?
I called the coroner today about Amanda's ( demonbuttercup 's ) toxicology report. It's done but the pathologist still hasn't determined a cause of death. I'm not sure at all why I want to know but I just feel like I need to know. Either way I can play some game of making myself feel guilty for it or better for it but anyone that...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
lackluster:
shellac
lackluster:
youre not ready for me. "toast to friends" i just heard. im at a party. i have no friends to toast to. toast to love. toast to lust. im pretty sure ive had at least one of those.
So at one point while I was doing some work for next week my dog ran away today. It's nice having random little heart attacks. She was gone for several hours in fact I got calls from two different people about her. Turns out she ran away from the first person that found her. She's a great dog but she doesn't do well with freedom,...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
lackluster:
im sorry ive been being mean. i had a nice time with you.. ive just been in a bad mood. <3<3<3
During my week off I have yet to unpack a single box...I rule! 
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lackluster:
yes. messy messy life.
lackluster:
i think the second guy is more your type.