another dull friday night passes into just another saturday. yes indeed.
i didn't go out tonight with the usual posse. as a matter of fact i didn't go out at all. absolutely too depressed. i had another job interview today. it went alright, i think they liked me. at one point in the interview though one of the guys was like, "well, frankly we're looking for someone with more experience, it's just that no one with more experience has applied." i'm so utterly sick of hearing that phrase, it's all i've heard for the past 5 damned months. either that or, "sorry, the position's already been filled. nice portfolio, best of luck with your search." anyhow, they said they had one more person to look at and would get back to me early in the week. i didn't get the graphic commission either. this week has been shit. if it doesn't work out, i start my career as a cheese clerk on wednesday, so there's that i guess. i'm seriously considering ending it.
when i did finally manage to pull myself from the safety and misery of my sheets to read a little, the power went out. so i just lit some candles and read by firelight for like, 2 hours waiting for the power to come back on, relying on the text and my pabst to keep me company. when the lights finally came back on i decided to watch clue, paint my toenails (which i don't think i've done in at least 5 years - i'm WAY too ticklish for pedicures, and not nearly girly enough to waste my money), and file some papers that have been piling up.
on the up side, i've gotten several international text messages and phone calls this week from both europe and south america. one of my long lost friends from middle school found me on mysace. i've seen most of six feet under - season four (with the last two disks arriving tomorrow). AND i've been working dilliently on painting and an oil pastel drawing that are turning out nicely. so i guess things aren't all bad. i'm just consumed by this job hunt thing right now and i feel like it's poisoning me. i'm so bitter that with the - i'm going to estimate it at 45 to 50 - resumes i've put out that i haven't gotten anything i can work with.
i'm also not sleeping properly again. i had a brief normal stage at the beginning of the month, but that's over now. every time i lay down my mind just races and meditation and breathing aren't even working. i'll figure it out soon, even if i have to start taking sleeping pills.
alright, time to paint a little more, this one's getting finished tonight. then will update the i art a day.
i didn't go out tonight with the usual posse. as a matter of fact i didn't go out at all. absolutely too depressed. i had another job interview today. it went alright, i think they liked me. at one point in the interview though one of the guys was like, "well, frankly we're looking for someone with more experience, it's just that no one with more experience has applied." i'm so utterly sick of hearing that phrase, it's all i've heard for the past 5 damned months. either that or, "sorry, the position's already been filled. nice portfolio, best of luck with your search." anyhow, they said they had one more person to look at and would get back to me early in the week. i didn't get the graphic commission either. this week has been shit. if it doesn't work out, i start my career as a cheese clerk on wednesday, so there's that i guess. i'm seriously considering ending it.
when i did finally manage to pull myself from the safety and misery of my sheets to read a little, the power went out. so i just lit some candles and read by firelight for like, 2 hours waiting for the power to come back on, relying on the text and my pabst to keep me company. when the lights finally came back on i decided to watch clue, paint my toenails (which i don't think i've done in at least 5 years - i'm WAY too ticklish for pedicures, and not nearly girly enough to waste my money), and file some papers that have been piling up.
on the up side, i've gotten several international text messages and phone calls this week from both europe and south america. one of my long lost friends from middle school found me on mysace. i've seen most of six feet under - season four (with the last two disks arriving tomorrow). AND i've been working dilliently on painting and an oil pastel drawing that are turning out nicely. so i guess things aren't all bad. i'm just consumed by this job hunt thing right now and i feel like it's poisoning me. i'm so bitter that with the - i'm going to estimate it at 45 to 50 - resumes i've put out that i haven't gotten anything i can work with.
i'm also not sleeping properly again. i had a brief normal stage at the beginning of the month, but that's over now. every time i lay down my mind just races and meditation and breathing aren't even working. i'll figure it out soon, even if i have to start taking sleeping pills.
alright, time to paint a little more, this one's getting finished tonight. then will update the i art a day.
My undergrad degrees so many years ago were in environmental engineering and structural engineering. I wanted to be an architect/city planner who built new cities properly. I stumbled around the non-existent job market for several months before I took a day labor job. The diversion and income helped reduce the fatigue of a job search and kept my efforts refreshed. In the end, I never pursued that dream, and probably shoulder some regret for not having done so. Nevertheless, I don't look back. I changed careers, punished myself in Philly for 2 years to secure an MBA and found challenge and reward in a completely different field.
Don't give up on your efforts or your vocational pursuits. However, try to remember that your avocations are always more rewarding.