Here's the scenario: The earth is invaded by aliens. They will destroy all of humanity unless we can defeat their crazy industrial space music in a battle of the bands. Bands will be judged on one criteria only: do they rock like a motherfucker live.
You are the concert promoter. You have a time machine. What rocks hard enough to save the human race?
The following are some early nominations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9eLeZS9OeY
The Clash, White Riot, live. Song is fast, hilarious, fun and short. Bonus points: Starts with weird argument over pulling the plug. Unknown awesome guy singing with them, and fucking up. Camera panning to awesome guy #2 drinking beer backstage. Crowd looks drunk and exhausted and blissful. Chant for more Clash following 2 minutes of intense rocking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX0QYuVuHrI
Led Zeppelin, We're Gonna Groove. This is far from Zep's best tune, but they just fucking own it on this clip. Page's solo sounds like he's playing a different song. Bonham is insane, Plant, tolerable. Bonus points: Page is dressed like he's boarding Ted Knight's boat party in Caddyshack.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGJFWirQ3ks
Fugazi, Waiting Room. While the whole thing is great, it really peaks when the band kicks in. Bonus points: Girl in beginning of clip has silliest punk haircut ever. And look at the rest of the crowd. Aliens could never have that much fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oamahR97xpA
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, dig the Who. Bonus points: Yes, that's Keith Richards doing the intro. Yes, he's wearing an eyepatch and smoking a cigar. Yes, this is the song from the Rushmore soundtrack. But questions remain; what the fuck bullshit is this song supposed to be about? Where did the spurting water from Keith Moon's drum sets come from? Why do the Who suck so often when they could be this good?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FqGz0z4dI0
From the same broadcast as the above Who performance -- the unaired special "Rock 'n' Roll Circus" the Stones and others filmed in 1968. The Stones apparently started playing at 4 in the morning, with everything going wrong all around them. Jagger, by sheer force of will and a throaty tantrum, forces his bandmates to go from sluggish wastoids to the greatest band in the world in the space of about two bars. It almost makes you want to follow him into battle. Bonus points: "You can't always get the band you want."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhycbtHfGP4
GNR, Paradise City, 1988. Bonus points: I'm skipping a description because the whole thing is bonus points. Slash's silly blues improv at the beginning. Axl's boss Thin Lizzy shirt. They fuck up at least five times, but it only makes the song better. Axl's stage dive, followed by a perfectly timed re-entry. Slash playing a perfect solo lying on his back.
You are the concert promoter. You have a time machine. What rocks hard enough to save the human race?
The following are some early nominations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9eLeZS9OeY
The Clash, White Riot, live. Song is fast, hilarious, fun and short. Bonus points: Starts with weird argument over pulling the plug. Unknown awesome guy singing with them, and fucking up. Camera panning to awesome guy #2 drinking beer backstage. Crowd looks drunk and exhausted and blissful. Chant for more Clash following 2 minutes of intense rocking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX0QYuVuHrI
Led Zeppelin, We're Gonna Groove. This is far from Zep's best tune, but they just fucking own it on this clip. Page's solo sounds like he's playing a different song. Bonham is insane, Plant, tolerable. Bonus points: Page is dressed like he's boarding Ted Knight's boat party in Caddyshack.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGJFWirQ3ks
Fugazi, Waiting Room. While the whole thing is great, it really peaks when the band kicks in. Bonus points: Girl in beginning of clip has silliest punk haircut ever. And look at the rest of the crowd. Aliens could never have that much fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oamahR97xpA
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, dig the Who. Bonus points: Yes, that's Keith Richards doing the intro. Yes, he's wearing an eyepatch and smoking a cigar. Yes, this is the song from the Rushmore soundtrack. But questions remain; what the fuck bullshit is this song supposed to be about? Where did the spurting water from Keith Moon's drum sets come from? Why do the Who suck so often when they could be this good?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FqGz0z4dI0
From the same broadcast as the above Who performance -- the unaired special "Rock 'n' Roll Circus" the Stones and others filmed in 1968. The Stones apparently started playing at 4 in the morning, with everything going wrong all around them. Jagger, by sheer force of will and a throaty tantrum, forces his bandmates to go from sluggish wastoids to the greatest band in the world in the space of about two bars. It almost makes you want to follow him into battle. Bonus points: "You can't always get the band you want."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhycbtHfGP4
GNR, Paradise City, 1988. Bonus points: I'm skipping a description because the whole thing is bonus points. Slash's silly blues improv at the beginning. Axl's boss Thin Lizzy shirt. They fuck up at least five times, but it only makes the song better. Axl's stage dive, followed by a perfectly timed re-entry. Slash playing a perfect solo lying on his back.
So I'll give you this-- the we're gonna groove footage is brilliant and absolutely made my morning.
BUT
BUT
I have to say that were I the writer of this blog
or God
It would be the Edgar Winter footage from the Old Grey Whistle test.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IEp5i9K7xQ