inkdpanda

I had a very revelating dream last night. It is a type of dream I've had many times before that are from deep in my subconscious speaking to my conscious self. It started with having a weird slimy spandex like green layer on my body. I peeled it off in awe and confusion as to the sheer amount I had on my body and the raw skin left afterward. I showed it to my mentors and they smiled but would not reveal to me what it meant. All I know is that deep in myself I felt renewed and an unfamiliar yet an accepting sense of myself. We then went to a monestary school. Then there was a destroyed hallway with broken furniture and a crazed psycho causing pain and destruction to my loved ones(especially my aunt step-mom father sisters and dear friends.) I saw this crazed person and he had a karambit and I locked his arm and slit his throat. He didn't feel like his death was horrible. He started spraying all of his soul out of his mouth. He asked me why I did it and I responded with very few words-it was more of a goodbye than a reason for his death. I walked back to my loved ones and they greeted me as if I expelled a demon that has been hovering over our lives for the past years. Then at the school we had to reconstruct ourselves and make it to the end classroom. Now with the demon gone I had a faint idea of where to go; thankfully I had this dream faintly before(as I always do with these type of dreams). I had to go through many more corridors than everyone else, but what I felt on the way through it brought me a sense of cleansing and rebuilding of my sense of self. I made it to the chamber but people had already moved on. I had to sprint past people and up stairs to get there. I entered a dining hall and we started talking of religion and my Jewish faith. A small man claiming it was the jews fault for everything stared to wrestle with me with an intent of serious harm. I restrained him and felt that I needed to delve deeper into my faith to further complete my wholistic change. Then I woke up.

Now for the meanings behind the dream.

Any time I remove layers of myself and expose raw skin it means I am shedding my old self-old identities,habits,thoughts, relationships, and an overall radical change of my whole being. The green skin meant that I have identified meeting people by displaying myself as the character Charlie to meet people when that is not who I am or want to be known as at all. The crazed psycho hurting everyone I loved is all of my bipolar ruling my life and causing chaos, pain, and destruction in my life and everyone else's. I killed that part of me and he lost his soul and I said good bye to my bipolar dictating my life. The monestary school is my school University of Oregon. It means I have changed into a new major (cinema studies) and it will be an amazing and enlightening journey. Everyone making it past me in chambers mean I have lagged behind in changing myself and getting on the right track as everyone else has. My sprinting past people means I will push harder than everyone to change, and also that I want to get in shape working out and doing lots of cardio. Part of the altercation with the nazi man was part of myself hating all of Hillel house and everything those spoiled JAPS live with all their iPhone 5s BMW cars and getting everything they wanted with no effort and fueled by their parents with zero hard work. How they are completely materialistic and would be lost without all the possessions. My sense of Jewish faith means I want to go back to traditional Jewish faith-not campfire guitar playing service. I want to go to a more traditional orthodox temple and relearn judism and Hebrew.

My dream has already had my mind make up my internal radical change. Now it is time to start living it.