gingerbread

today my nerves feel like glass.

i wish i knew how to relax.

i wish it were warmer.

i am wishing a lot of things today.

i just remembered that the lemonheads existed!
i am definitely wearing leggings with socks and sneakers today.

stupidity is awesome.

i decided to go to school. and i decided since i was giving up on my plan, my reward was the freedom to enjoy marijuana, especially during the month long grace period before i started school.

and then weeks after putting in an application, i got a call from safeway for an interview. and i was given a job on the spot,...
Read More

possibly things are looking better? i explored technical programs, and found 2 that aren't nursing or engineering: specialty breads and desserts, and drug counseling. pretty different i know, but both things that fascinate me. i am talking to a counselor on tuesday to explore my options, and see if i didn't fuck up so bad last time around that they will let me back into...
Read More

frustration! since applying to, and getting, an -awesome- job at goodwill, i have taken two drug tests. the first was dilute, the second was cancelled, due to suspected adulteration. and seriously, i just peed in a cup and handed it over. i am probably going to be denied this job because the lab is full of shit and goodwill doesn't want to pay for the...
Read More

i got a job! i am going to telemarket magazines. maybe one of the worse jobs that i have had, but i am good at switching into robot mode, so here goes nothing. nothing on next to no hours of sleep, as i start in the morning.

still hoping something better comes through, but fuck i am so happy to have a job.

also, i...
Read More

although i owe both the portland and seattle public libraries quite a bit of money, one of the advantages of living with my mom is that i get to use her library card--so fucking rad! i was surprised yesterday to find that i had a hold on the new david sedaris book, "when you are engulfed in flames" (last time i checked, i was #...
Read More

i interviewed for the job of my fucking dreams. i lamented that i would never get it. i cried and wailed. somehow, i got called back. to do a drug test. i was stoned when i answered the phone.

why? because i am the stupidest person on the planet. here's to my retardation! i hate when i get what's coming to me.

does it make me lame to not really like new years? seattle is cold and i don't know anyone here any more. i am full of hope for the new year, but it all seems insurmountable. also i forgot how to be snobby. better start pretending i don't like kanye west. for some reason i suddenly really love kanye west. goddamnit.

edited to add: i...
Read More

the word on my epic cross-n.w. move: at t-minus (what does that mean?) 24 hours till i have to be packed, my toe has been broken and turned purple , and a large portion of my ceiling just fell in. that's right, giant hunks of plaster all over my bed, and a heavy, heavy coating of dirt, dust and debris on and in everything in...
Read More