What's it called when whenever a pretty girl talks to you you dissipate into a cloud of houseflies only to reintegrate 5 miles outside the city limits? That's what I have.
I'm being haunted by a spectral booty clap at night, it's indescribably sinister. Send help.
Our limo service has become encumbered by a series of mysterious and supernatural events, might not make it home. Tell my wife and kids I love th--*static*
SELLING: My Dog
WHY: She repeatedly violates causality
PRICE: $45 or free to a good home with less stringent laws of physics
WHY: She repeatedly violates causality
PRICE: $45 or free to a good home with less stringent laws of physics
Parker, I don't know how you got these nip slip pics of Spiderman, but they're going on the front page!
hor:
Ha!
Ha!
"There's nothing in the rulebook that says a dog can't be an MMA champ!"
Air Bud 12: Ultimate 'Biter' blasts into theaters this Fall.
Air Bud 12: Ultimate 'Biter' blasts into theaters this Fall.
Look, I know NOW that bitch has more than one meaning. I'm sorry I shot you, I was just defending my dog's honour.
cyanidefairy:
*like*
No son, I wasn't a Guitar Hero, I only served with them.
sylphie:
lol
siv:
il retornado del danso. engtalian.
I see you drivin' 'round town with the girl I love, and I'm like, "Please don't." *melodic sobbing*
sylphie:
lol sounds sad 
have you heard of Moneen?
have you heard of Moneen?
Director's Commentary: It is deliberately left ambiguous whether the Nazi MILF Hunter hunts MILFs who are Nazis or he himself is a Nazi.
I'm seeing a lot of new subscriptions lately, looks like we have quite a few 'bad apples' breaking rules 1 & 2 of Fruit of the Month Club.
when i want some turkey to make a sandwich i simply construct a living, adult turkey out of potions, herbs and exotic sawdusts in a terrifying act of abiogenesis. i do this fairly often and it doesn't hurt me.
automatic_lover:
not really im not wanting pussy right now