into: The George Foreman Signature Collection of big and tall men's clothing. Gotta love those adjustable waistbands, Baby!

makes me happy: Old travel posters (a la Tom Purvis). Oppressively still sunny days. Cold rain on a hot day that steams when it hits the streets. Cats that gnaw on my shoes.

makes me sad: The way none of us seem to get what we want out of life.

5 things i can't live without: Food, air, shelter, water, processed sugar.

vices: I suppose a few of a mild but not particularly interesting sexual nature involving vienna sausages. Oooh, and Dad's Rootbeer. Mmmmm, rootbeer.

thoughts on sg: I like it

occupation: Gravy Boat Gondolier

current crush: Scrapple! Much more'n just parts!

stats: 70% water, 33% beef parts, 9% corn syrup, less than 0.112% mathematician

body mods: Surgery scar on my right knee; osteophytes in my elbows. Ow!

gets me hot: A wicked intelligence, a surreal humor, a dozen donuts. Breasts larger than mine? Ha! I kid: there are no breasts larger than mine!

favorite position: In honor of my Scottish heritage: Me behind a sheep in a tartan skirt and garters with its head caught in a fence ... just as the local parson rounds the corner.

fantasy: That I could do what I like and like what I do.

sign: Wide Load!

most humbling moment: Thursday? I've just never gotten the hang of Thursdays . . .

i lost my virginity: I just gave it away (it was double coupon day at the donut shop!).

CIGARETTES: Nope

MY DIET: Omnivore

ALCOHOL: Occasionally

MY DRUG USE: Drug Free

I AM LOOKING FOR: whoever comes along

MY KINK FACTOR: I'll try anything once, especially if you beg for it.

MY POLITICS: None apply, you assholes

POT: Occasionally

MY STATUS: single

I WANT: Friendship

MY PIGEONHOLES: Arty, Bookworm