emptyharbour

Seriously, what the fuck is up with this town? People here are goddamn nuts. Nobody calls back, nobody responds, everyone argues. It's like being in grade 3 all over again.

I've been drinking too much and hiding in my music room all night. Not exactly the most social of pastimes, but it makes me grin a little and is at least better than dying slowly...
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Been back in Calgary for about a month now; I'm settling into my new place and doing my best to find some comfortable places to do a little drinking. It's pretty empty here, to be honest. Not much to do, not much to say. I spend my days with family or on my own, I play a lot of music and probably drink too often...
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All the days are so fast that I can never hold onto them, all smooth and slippery. There are never any seconds to sleep when they're all spent speaking, seeking every way we can to stretch out the hours like taffy, endless and sweet. I don't know, it all sometimes feels okay these days, heavy but loose, letting all the air rush in. Right there...
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The things you reach for do not have places to be held; this much is certain. Now it's begun again, this staying up late and waking early with hardly any sleep between. Before, there was someone, something. Now there is just the lull of summer and my beating heart, thick with clotted blood and all the reasons I have to call. I'm terrible at keeping...
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"I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I...
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Merry Christmas, kids. Hope you all enjoy the holiday season. I'm going off the grid until 2007.

All my best,
-J

Last day of classes, first day of work. The weather is terrible, my iPod is on the fritz, and I'm flying to Calgary in something like 8 hours. Blaaaarrghh.

I had that dream again, the sad one with falling stars and skipping stones. Woke up shivering in the dark, listening to a silence unheard in this house for years. Outside; snow and sunrise both claw at my window. I lay here, staring up at the shifting shadows as the last faint wisps of sleep and sorrow both bleed out into morning air, and only...
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Holy shitbat, it's November already.

It's been raining here for something like 2 weeks solid. There are warnings on the news for folks living near rivers on on slide-vulnerable hillsides. I find myself going to class less and less often, instead jumping off the bus at random stops and exploring new neighborhoods and parkland. I roam with camera in hand, and I've been very pleased...
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Late breaking news:

I drink too much.