So.
I backtracked just a little, and indulged in this selfish selfdestruction.
But I am a better girl. And I feel more powerful and in control than Ive felt in a long time.
On another, unrelated note.
I went dancing last night.
goths dance funny. i love it. i dance funny too, so its all good.
its either stomping and spinning like tribal savages or...
Read More
I backtracked just a little, and indulged in this selfish selfdestruction.
But I am a better girl. And I feel more powerful and in control than Ive felt in a long time.
On another, unrelated note.
I went dancing last night.
goths dance funny. i love it. i dance funny too, so its all good.
its either stomping and spinning like tribal savages or...
Read More
before ranting,
i would like to say that if my night had not gone all shitty-like just a few hours ago, i would have replied to the comments left in my last entry.
I appreciate any thoughtful responses, thanks guys. xoxxxx..
and now, commence purging of uber angst:
earlier i call this girl. because i am in not such a good mood and i didnt...
Read More
i would like to say that if my night had not gone all shitty-like just a few hours ago, i would have replied to the comments left in my last entry.
I appreciate any thoughtful responses, thanks guys. xoxxxx..
and now, commence purging of uber angst:
earlier i call this girl. because i am in not such a good mood and i didnt...
Read More
AIM depresses me.
All of the people I care about have hurt me or gone away and so,
whenever i sign on it just reminds me how, my solid 3 are not so solid as they used to be...
it is terrible to feel so resigned, but i have tried, i have crawled out on more limbs than a sane person would dare and there...
Read More
All of the people I care about have hurt me or gone away and so,
whenever i sign on it just reminds me how, my solid 3 are not so solid as they used to be...
it is terrible to feel so resigned, but i have tried, i have crawled out on more limbs than a sane person would dare and there...
Read More
zenzero:
I TOTALLY FEEL YA on the AIM deal.. I rarely even use it.. and I can still remember the days of trying to keep like 10 IMs at a time.. and feeling stressed out about it thinking.. I wish I could get some work done, and how do I make that bell sound quit!!"... I digress..
I once read:
"You Cant Find Yourself By Looking Behind A Mirror."
I found it both profound and powerful at the same time.
I think you have, in some strange twist of fate, given me the loophole for which I have been seeking. That totally makes sense though, talking to myself in the mirror, as if it were a kind of verbal journal!! It makes complete sense. and its seems so much better than talking to myself without a mirror... I dont think I will start carrying a compact or anything, but I like how you think.
I do have this strange habbit of looking in the mirror and thinking to myself.. "Who is that guy?", and why wont he get out of the way, so I can see!
PS Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
-That was a joke
-This is no joke
YOU ROCK! and Thanks for being my friend!!!
I once read:
"You Cant Find Yourself By Looking Behind A Mirror."
I found it both profound and powerful at the same time.
I think you have, in some strange twist of fate, given me the loophole for which I have been seeking. That totally makes sense though, talking to myself in the mirror, as if it were a kind of verbal journal!! It makes complete sense. and its seems so much better than talking to myself without a mirror... I dont think I will start carrying a compact or anything, but I like how you think.
I do have this strange habbit of looking in the mirror and thinking to myself.. "Who is that guy?", and why wont he get out of the way, so I can see!
PS Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
-That was a joke
-This is no joke
YOU ROCK! and Thanks for being my friend!!!
l_f:
Dear,
Your posting made me very tender. Here are some comments:
Death is the natural continuation of life, which, in its turn, is not the same as (mere) survival. The difference between these is precisely in what you make out of your life.
My experience with friendship and relationships is that, as life itself, they have beginning, middle, and end (Well, we die before some of them finish.) Sometimes, arrangements do not work any longer, and one tries to make things work, with honesty and respect towards the others ... but also towards oneself. A few times, things do not work even so, and then it may be better for all to try something else. Life is about learning to live. This education does not finish until we do. Isn't that wonderful ? Instead of being terrified with the loose ends that will always exist, we rejoice on those that we learnt to tie up for a while, and we tie things up better in the long run. We also try to fix what we can ... again, with self-respect. In any case, there is always at least one thing worthwhile out of any past experience: What we learnt from it.
We have to be careful not to learn the wrong lessons. I have an acquaintance who survived a disease, and takes care of his partner, who survived another one. He learnt a lot about how to improve his lifestyles. But he believes that his current choices are now better than anyone's, and fiecefully try to impose them on whomever lived in a way from which he changed. What works for one person may not work for another. Even if it is something apparently better, it may or may not make another person to feel and live better. Furthermore, the way we communicate something makes a huge difference.
AIM: Change to MSN or Yahoo, and chat with me.
Cheers,
Lord_Frous
Your posting made me very tender. Here are some comments:
Death is the natural continuation of life, which, in its turn, is not the same as (mere) survival. The difference between these is precisely in what you make out of your life.
My experience with friendship and relationships is that, as life itself, they have beginning, middle, and end (Well, we die before some of them finish.) Sometimes, arrangements do not work any longer, and one tries to make things work, with honesty and respect towards the others ... but also towards oneself. A few times, things do not work even so, and then it may be better for all to try something else. Life is about learning to live. This education does not finish until we do. Isn't that wonderful ? Instead of being terrified with the loose ends that will always exist, we rejoice on those that we learnt to tie up for a while, and we tie things up better in the long run. We also try to fix what we can ... again, with self-respect. In any case, there is always at least one thing worthwhile out of any past experience: What we learnt from it.
We have to be careful not to learn the wrong lessons. I have an acquaintance who survived a disease, and takes care of his partner, who survived another one. He learnt a lot about how to improve his lifestyles. But he believes that his current choices are now better than anyone's, and fiecefully try to impose them on whomever lived in a way from which he changed. What works for one person may not work for another. Even if it is something apparently better, it may or may not make another person to feel and live better. Furthermore, the way we communicate something makes a huge difference.
AIM: Change to MSN or Yahoo, and chat with me.
Cheers,
Lord_Frous
I love snow. But goddamn does that mushroom thing creep me out. 
zenzero:
you: cleaver & cute
me: quite impressed
me: quite impressed
darlinginvalid:
cleavers are for butchers, silly rabbit!
heehee.
heehee.
Ah. retail therapy.
Bought charming shoes today, shiny black sandals with a bow. and painted my toenails red.
and feeling bitter and jaded, but empowered somehow. I dont feel hopeless, i feel resigned but not in a bad way. maybe resigned isnt the right word, self resolved? healthily haughty.
im "headed down the lipstick paved path toward hell."
Bought charming shoes today, shiny black sandals with a bow. and painted my toenails red.
and feeling bitter and jaded, but empowered somehow. I dont feel hopeless, i feel resigned but not in a bad way. maybe resigned isnt the right word, self resolved? healthily haughty.
im "headed down the lipstick paved path toward hell."
Commence the hunt for a date to Dykey Fetish Ball in April.
sequoia:
ooh i felt that way yesterday too! fuck, fuck it all. but today, as burnt out as i feel i'm so grateful for the weekend! yay, for the weather that draws me to the beach. i hope you are not so agry today and that your weekend rocks! 
p.s. my bear is in my profile pic. he's just peaking up...um, but he doesn't have a cool name like yours...heh heh.
[Edited on Mar 05, 2004 5:35PM]
p.s. my bear is in my profile pic. he's just peaking up...um, but he doesn't have a cool name like yours...heh heh.
[Edited on Mar 05, 2004 5:35PM]
darlinginvalid:
the weather today was pretty fab. I was able to sit in my window perch without shivering.
anger level decline, weekend woohoo!
anger level decline, weekend woohoo!
Added new Pics!
Im such a camera whore. I love pictures.
Vanity is goodness.
I ought to be working on homework things, but, alas, i slack.
Not a good idea, i have many midterms coming up.
but, im hungry so i think i might just go to giant burger instead.
Im such a camera whore. I love pictures.
Vanity is goodness.
I ought to be working on homework things, but, alas, i slack.
Not a good idea, i have many midterms coming up.
but, im hungry so i think i might just go to giant burger instead.
madskywriting:
aww. you're beautiful!
xx, ch.
xx, ch.
darlinginvalid:
Aww, thanks!
i am irritated beyond belief.
i think i might just delete my Live Journal account.
Im just sick of the catty drama thats going on lately.
i just want to rip my hair out.
like, a friend posts about her shitty day/mood, i offer some emotional supprt and get attacked by other people.
what the fuck is that.
its the icing on the cake is...
Read More
i think i might just delete my Live Journal account.
Im just sick of the catty drama thats going on lately.
i just want to rip my hair out.
like, a friend posts about her shitty day/mood, i offer some emotional supprt and get attacked by other people.
what the fuck is that.
its the icing on the cake is...
Read More
I sat, in the window tonight, with the shutter flung open wide, and the screen absent I perched half way between the inside and the outside and watched from that ledge the trees roaming.
They sway like strange animals on a familiar terrain altered in a chaos carefully calculated by nature.
My toes slowly went numb after bouts of shivering came and went not in...
Read More
They sway like strange animals on a familiar terrain altered in a chaos carefully calculated by nature.
My toes slowly went numb after bouts of shivering came and went not in...
Read More
Yay! U went to Death Guild too!
Did u see me prehaps? I had that coat on I had in my profile picture, I was dancin by the stage mostly.
I was by said cute little guy in striped shirt. hehe. I so knows him, lol, well more aquantence-like. He's friends with my friends brother.
Shhh! (He's the manager on the Hot Topic at the Serramonte Mall) hmm....
Yay again! Yes, I actually do like dancing to Portishead also dispite what i said on me little ol' profile. It just seemed the dance floor was thinned when it was played, but I had fun. I too dance funny. but I loves me some little goth dancing..hehe but I guess I was gettin a funky vibe i dunno I'm wierd.
...and when I die I too will be a smelly dead white guy.
Ironic...
I think not.
(edited for me bads spellings)
[Edited on Mar 24, 2004 9:29PM]
Hehehe
I'm pretty sure we probably did see eachother there. I was jus tso hypnotized by the crazy goth dancing that I didn't know who was there besides the friends i knew. hehe.
Ya! What the hell! It was supposed to be a Rasputina CD release party, but A. they didnt have the damn cd for sale (generally CD release parties are for that) and 2. What the poo! Seriously people left the floor when Rasputina came on. What the crap is that. It was/is such a good song too.
I say it is, cause yes I did ge the new CD. Thinking it would be like a normal CD release party I brought money for it, but poo to that. So I went to Ameoba yesterday and bought it. Yay! It's soooooo good, up there I think with How We Quit the Forest and Thanks for the Ether, I likes it. It even came with a special disc of b-sides and raries.
Joy!
Tis very good, I'm actually glad you found me too, hehe. Cause this site is great but a lot of people I talk to live quite far away. It's refreshing to find someone who lives near me. *Grin*
Hehehe
-I giggle too much.