cklarock

Most of you have read that Sophie and I are training with my first martial arts instructors, Eric Pence and his wife Stephanie. I started up with Eric in 1992Steph was a childhood friend and she told me about this kickboxing class, and dragged me along. Luckily, nobody told me that athletically challenged, scrawny smokers werent supposed to be able to kickbox.

I left Lawrence for many years, and studied many different styles during that time, but Ive always trained with Eric and Steph whenever Im in town. They are mentors and good friends; on top of that, their system is fucking sweet. When I teach, I teach AMK.

Tuesday during and after working out, we were telling stories that illustrate for me how strange and oblique the circles we humans move in are; each of these stories involves someone *almost* getting railed on, but not quite reaping what Steph refers to as the rain of fire, or what I call a trauma-induced paradigm shift.

First, I told a story where a total stranger -- uninvited -- grabbed Sophie and gave her a hug without permission. In a store. At the time, I was standing a few feet away in another aisle, and was unable to see it. Had I seen it? I think he probably would have gotten an owie. Most likely (because I'm sweet and nice) a sudden, but singular and impermanent owie, coupled with a brief but concise explanation that he had just Crossed A Bad Boundary.

Anyway, you can imagine how you might have reacted. How strange and surreal is it when some man just disregards all flavors of social propriety and grabs you? What do you do? Some of you would have barked at him, others might have chewed him out until he felt six inches tall. I'm not particularly good at either of those, so I would have dissuaded him otherwise.

Sophie, being a very sweet person, laughed it off and bailed on the whole creepy scene, because she is just nice like that.

Then, later, we were telling stories about this mutual friend of ours, and in particular one time that when she was about 19 or so, and she was followed to Karate class by some random sketchy guy in his 40s, who apparently intended to follow her on inside. Fortunately for his medical insurance payments, he balked at the sight of the 5'10" 220 lb. dude who answered the door, and did not come in to the room where there were three over-protective black belts and a special forces commando hanging out. At the time, nobody realized that he was a likely predator:

GROUP Who was your friend, the older guy?

YOUNG WOMAN The creepy guy? I don't know, he followed me here.

GROUP !!!!!!1one

How close to a world of hurt was that guy? I mean, he walked up and knocked on the door of his own private trauma and probably only peripherally comprehended what hed walked away from.

Then I told a story about this time when I was living in San Francisco, and this random Jamaican dude followed one of my female roommates into our apartment. No one knew this guy, he just fucking walked in to our house.

(Yes, this is the point where all the Texans pat their near-at-hand firearm and remind themselves that Shit Aint Like That Round Here)

He just walked in, and my poor roomie was so frightened, she didn't stop him. Again, I wasn't there. I think I was over at my friends house or something. Now, mind you, there were four women and a child living there. Luckily for dude (or for me, or both) our other male roommate was there and stepped up with a diplomatic swerve, chatted with this clearly crazy guy, smoked weed with him, and convinced him to leave. But again, that was close. Im sure that I wouldnt have been so crafty and suave as my roomie was.

So all of those stories reflected through my mind Tuesday night; this common theme that each of the "bad guys" in those scenarios edged right up against this tangenital orbit of potential violence, but never got some. It makes me wonder how some people choose to put the orbits of their lives into risk; and not for a cause, or in service to anything other than their egos, but just because they are creepy and predatory and see young women as soft targets.

I have a hard time feeling sorry for whichever day their instincts lead them one step to far. I guess Im glad its not me that has to do it, but on the other hand, I am the nice one. I might be somebody's lucky break.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Body
Man, I sure was tired today. Not as tired as I was yesterday, though. I dont know why Im so tired because I go to bed pretty early and usually get eight hours of sleep. It might be because Im getting up so early when Im used to getting up so late. Ohmygod, or it totally might be because I keep forgetting to take my vitamins. Im totally going to take my vitamins right now.

I did my personal best # of reps in a single set for handstand pushups last week: 10.

Thats not that many for really great athletes, but like I said, its the most Ive ever been able to do. I followed it with a set of six and then a set of three (both to failure), but I was damned proud of my 10. Ive been telling everyone I know about it, and now Im telling you. I do them with my hands flat on the floor, and consider a full rep when my forehead touches the ground and I can push all the way into a handstand. I use the wall for balance, because Im not studly enough to do them free-form.

Work
I dont need much money here in Kansas, so Im able to not work so much. Its a nice holiday, but I know that eventually I will want to spend more time on career development. Its just that Ive been really career focused for the last few years, following my personal career will-o-wisp:

Make More Money While Working Less

Now, Im just glad to . . . not have to try, not have to struggle, not have to hustle. When the time is right, Ill be fired up to grab big new accounts and whatnot, but in the interim, Im all about spending my days talking with yall and reading and swimming, and spending my evenings with the sum of all cherished dreams.

Not that Im completely slothful, just mostly. I am working on a really cool project for a SG member, a logo for his jobbie job, one that I can really get behind. You know, when you work for a PR agency doing things to increase media outreach for some botox analogue, its hard to care. But this project is ultimately for a very cool practice, and I think were on to something. Its fun to like the stuff that you make for your work.

Other than that, Im just going through the motions of client service on a couple of accounts, one of which is probably going bye-bye and working my way toward getting a number of collaborative projects going with Sophie.

The Weather
It has been very hot in Kansas, but not todaylast night it was 58 degrees and is still around 75 today. Compared with the heat-index of 110 degrees I was sweating under in St. Louis over the weekend, thats a sixty-two-degree turnaround! No wonder my body is weirded out.

Friendships
I have heard from pen pals new and old this week, one of whom I havent corresponded with for almost six months!

Kittens and Computers
Sometimes I wish I had a kitten, but more often I wish I knew how to work on ProTools.

You can fucking do it. Straight up. The only difference between winners and losers is when they quit.

The only difference between you and the people who are living the life you want is motivation and time. You practice the self you desire every day by waking up in the morning and living your life dedicated to your principles and goals.

You know Im right.